Written by: Ruby Rose Walker, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
“Mastering others is strength; mastering oneself is true power” — Lao Tsu.
We are all leaders in our own right, at work, at home with our families, and in our own lives.
All great leaders know that true leadership is about leading from the heart as well as the head. It’s about authenticity and genuine care.
But what about when it comes to ourselves? We can all probably express what leadership style helps us thrive, but how do we apply that to leading our own lives?
When you take a flight, the initial safety demonstration instructs you to put your own mask on before attending to others.
I must admit, when I was a child, this did worry me a little as I saw the demonstration of the child waiting patiently for their oxygen, “hang on a second! what?”
This is because, in the event of an emergency where the cabin loses air pressure, tending to others before tending to yourself will likely cause you to fall unconscious. By the time you've helped others, you may not have the capacity to help yourself, and you’ll then be incapable of helping anyone.
The same applies to leadership. To be able to serve others and to be able to lead the way and create a safe environment where creativity flourishes, you must make sure that you are functioning at your optimal. Mentally, physically, emotionally, socially, and spiritually. The world is undergoing incredible transformation at the moment, and the need for strong leadership is higher than ever, which means the importance of self-leadership is at an all-time high.
During times of change, there are often many unknowns in your external environment that you can’t control, so it’s important to acknowledge what is within your control. Leading yourself is within your control, and there are three important aspects of self-leadership that will help you thrive in change — self-awareness, self-acceptance, and personal growth.
Self-awareness
Spend time getting to know what makes you tick and what energizes you. At our core, we all have values and beliefs that drive us and determine what we consider to be important in the way we work and live. It’s important to become conscious of and understand your own needs in line with these. Any time you feel that you are not aligned or that you aren’t completely happy, you’ll find that it’s almost always because something in what you’re doing isn’t in line with your core values. Take time to stop, reassess and realign if you have to. Living and leading in line with your values is key to setting yourself and others up for success and fulfillment.
Get to know what triggers you. This can be other people, daily occurrences like traffic, phone calls, emails. We have very little control over other people and our outer environment, but we do have control over how much we let it affect our inner peace.
Self-awareness includes becoming aware of your self-talk. 95% of all your thoughts are subconscious, so what is going on in your subconscious mind when the conscious mind isn’t paying attention? There is no benefit in negative self-talk and self-sabotage. Make a habit of reframing your internal noise and chatter to a more constructive and positive guiding voice, and you’ll be amazed how much your life transforms as a result.
Self-Acceptance
As a recovering perfectionist, this has probably always been the most challenging one for me. Accepting ourselves for who we are, as we are, is the only way we can truly be happy. As a leader, it’s important that you lead by example, but that doesn’t by any means mean that you need to be perfect. People will respect you for your authenticity and will find comfort in the fact that you’re relatable. As humans, we get so caught up in the idea of succeeding and improving at everything that we miss the opportunity to accept and embrace where we are and how far we’ve come. Make sure you make time to reflect, recognize your strengths, and celebrate your wins.
We rarely celebrate our victories because we’re so quick to jump on to the next big task. When you celebrate a win, you release dopamine, the ‘feel-good chemical in your brain. You’ll be more positive, open, and be able to think more clearly and creatively. When you are in this state, your brain has the space to develop new and creative ideas that can’t form when you’re stressed, and your brain is in a state of ‘survival.’
Part of self-acceptance is knowing when you need support and asking for it. Asking for help is powerful not only for you but for others as well. It offers others the opportunity to gain trust, to grow, and to serve. Human beings have an innate impulse to serve. It’s part of why most people become leaders, but as a leader, asking for help empowers others to live that out as well.
Personal Growth
Personal growth is about constantly growing by reflecting and evolving to become the best version of yourself. Essentially to grow through what you go through. Be open to learning, don’t let the same things trip you up, make positive changes, develop new strategies, learn new skills, take on opportunities and help others develop and grow. An integral part of becoming a better leader is knowing that there is always room for improvement and embracing the journey as a part of life.
“The only constant in life is change” — Heraclitus.
The only constant in life is change. It’s the only thing we can be sure of. It’s what keeps life exciting and makes us feel alive. To truly embrace change and lead others through it, we must first focus on leading our own lives in line with our values. Developing strong self-leadership will allow you to weather any storm and to guide others through them as well.
Ruby Rose Walker, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Ruby Rose is an international coach whose clients achieve life-changing transformation from the inside out. She is passionate about empowering individuals to step into their full potential so that they can live with intention and lead with impact. Her unique life growing up across continents and cultures along with her non-linear career path, strongly influences her approach in unlocking the right path for each client. Knowing intimately how no two lives are the same, her work with clients is personal and tailored to each unique situation. She strongly believes there’s no right approach for all, and coaches individuals to tap into their own unique potential to achieve a fulfilling life of their own. Having overcome her own experiences with burnout in the past through mindful rewiring, Ruby Rose aims to be a partner on your journey to create a life of alignment, empowerment, and purpose you deserve.
