Written by Tatjana Gaspar, Coach, Consultant & Author
Tatjana Gaspar is a certified Systemic Coach and Online Trainer who uses methods that focus on the clients’ individual goals, thus aiming at improving their business or life situation. She is also the CEO of the Latin American Chamber of Commerce in Switzerland, where she organizes events, hosts webinars and is responsible for operational and financial issues.
In today's society, taking a break, saying no, or putting our own needs first can sometimes be accompanied by feelings of guilt or shame, which compromises our ability to navigate challenges. The guilt and shame associated with self-care often stem from internalized societal norms that equate self-worth with productivity and self-sacrifice.
It is important to understand why these feelings are unfounded. Overcoming them involves reconditioning our mindset to recognize that self-care is not selfish but necessary.
During times of crises, whether personal or professional, the demand for our time and energy significantly increases. In these moments, the pressure to meet obligations and support others can be overwhelming, leading us to sideline our own needs. This approach is counterproductive. Neglecting self-care during crises only exacerbates stress and diminishes our capacity to cope effectively. For example, someone dealing with a family emergency might feel guilty taking time for themselves. But without sufficient rest and emotional support, they cannot provide effective care or make sound decisions.
In the professional realm, crises can include high-stakes projects, organizational changes, or conflicts within the workplace. These situations often demand extended hours and heightened focus. Employees may feel compelled to sacrifice their well-being to meet expectations, fearing judgment from colleagues or superiors. Yet, chronic overwork without adequate self-care leads to diminished cognitive function, reduced creativity, and increased errors. A well-rested mind is crucial for strategic thinking and problem-solving, essential skills during professional turmoil.
The myth of constant productivity
One of the primary reasons we feel guilty about taking breaks is the pervasive myth that constant productivity equates to success and self-worth. This belief is deeply ingrained in many cultures, which often celebrate overworking and confuse busyness with importance. However, the reality is that perpetual productivity is neither sustainable nor healthy. Human beings are not designed to operate at full capacity without rest. Just as machines require maintenance and downtime to function effectively, so do we. This, in turn, will enhance our mental clarity and focus, allowing us to maintain sustained energy levels and enabling consistent performance.
The necessity of self-care
Taking time for ourselves is vital for maintaining our physical health, mental clarity, and emotional stability. When we neglect our needs, we risk burnout, chronic stress, falling into an emotional downspiral, and a host of related health issues. By allowing ourselves to rest and recharge, we manage our stress levels better and strengthen our resilience, which in turn helps us maintain a positive outlook in our daily lives when we have to organize, plan, and function not only for ourselves but also for others.
Breaking the cycle of guilt
Guilt and shame often arise from internalized societal expectations and the fear of disappointing others or appearing selfish. It is important to recognize that these emotions are rooted in unrealistic standards. We must challenge the notion that self-worth is tied to our ability to meet these external demands. Instead of letting this self-made artificial pressure mount and overpower us, we should foster a mindset that values self-care as an integral component of a healthy lifestyle. By doing so, we can break free from the cycle of guilt and embrace the idea that our needs and priorities are valid and worthy of attention. Taking time for a breather in whichever way we deem fit, is not a failure but a necessary step towards maintaining our overall health, resilience and energy.
The power of saying no and remaining firm
Learning to say no is a powerful act of self-respect that we should practice without remorse. It helps us set boundaries and protect our time and energy. While it can be difficult to decline requests or obligations, especially from loved ones or in professional environments, we must remember that saying no is not an act of selfishness. Rather, it is a vital skill and a way to ensure that we are not overextending ourselves and compromising our well-being.
Fact is: Most people do not expect from us total and constant dedication; some might genuinely appreciate it; some will remind us that it is detrimental to our health in the long run; few will try to take advantage of it. Open communication with colleagues, superiors, and family members about the importance of self-care can foster understanding and support. When people see that your well-being contributes to your effectiveness, they are more likely to respect your boundaries.
The benefits of putting our needs first
Putting our needs first or, at least not neglecting them, has numerous benefits that extend beyond our personal well-being. When we allow ourselves to pause every once in a while, we are better equipped to care for others and to keep our professional focus over a period. This has a powerful impact because we can approach our responsibilities with more energy, creative spirit, and planning. Moreover, we can engage in activities and relationships with a sense of self-worth, rather than resentment and exhaustion.
Reframing priorities
Reframing our priorities to align with a more balanced and sustainable approach to life involves shifting our focus from external validation to internal fulfillment. It means developing a new mindset with new values, a new self-awareness, and a new life perspective. We must learn to value our well-being as highly as we value our achievements. By doing so, we can live a life that is not only productive but also rich in meaning and connection.
Tatjana Gaspar, Coach, Consultant & Author
Tatjana Gaspar is a certified Systemic Coach and Online Trainer who uses methods that focus on the clients’ individual goals, thus aiming at improving their business or life situation. She is also the CEO of the Latin American Chamber of Commerce in Switzerland, where she organizes events, hosts webinars and is responsible for operational and financial issues. Before coaching, she spent 20 years in international wealth management and leadership positions with different banks in Zurich. Initially, Tatjana obtained a Degree in Hispanic and Russian Literature and History from the University of Geneva. She is a firm believer in life-long learning and fluent in seven languages.
