Written by Delia Grenville, Coach, Speaker & Consultant
Delia Grenville, Ph.D., is the Founder and CEO of Slyn Consulting, where she’s spent over 25 years helping leaders and teams navigate the ups and downs of business and life. As a certified coach and host of the To Live List podcast, she’s all about real talk, growth, and making things happen.
In a world where demands compete for our time, energy, and attention, we often neglect one fundamental truth: our ability to permit ourselves to live fully. Granting ourselves permission isn't about external validation or societal expectations but our inner dialogue with ourselves. It's about embracing what I call "permission fluidity."
This concept was born from reflecting on permission in one of my To Live List podcast episodes. Permission fluidity is the practice of understanding when to give ourselves the freedom to act, pause, or pivot while balancing respect for others. It's a framework that acknowledges the complexities of modern life and encourages intentional living.
Reclaiming permission
Permission often feels like something we outgrow. As children, we rely on parents, teachers, and authority figures to permit us — from staying up late to exploring new opportunities. But what happens when we become adults? The external structure that once defined our boundaries disappears, leaving us without a clear roadmap for granting ourselves the freedoms we need to thrive.
Many of us continue the habit of outsourcing permission—to employers, societal norms, or even our inner critics. As a result, we often live under self-imposed restrictions, unaware that we already possess the ability to liberate ourselves.
What is permission fluidity?
Permission fluidity challenges the binary view of permission as something we either have or don't. Instead, it recognizes the ebb and flow of life's demands and how our needs and boundaries shift over time. It's the ability to:
Give yourself the freedom to rest, grow, or take risks.
Respect the autonomy of others to do the same.
Release the pressure of rigid expectations.
In essence, it's a practice of balance—knowing when to grant yourself space to thrive and when to honor the boundaries of those around you.
The post-pandemic shift
The global pandemic forced many of us to confront unprecedented pressures. As we emerge from this period, reclaiming the practice of self-permission becomes even more critical. Society has conditioned us to soldier on, pushing aside the weight of collective grief, anxiety, and change. But as life evolves, we have an opportunity to reassess and reset.
Permitting ourselves to adapt—without guilt—might look like:
Taking a mental health day.
Redefining relationships that no longer serve us.
Exploring new opportunities or career paths.
Simply being proud of surviving a challenging period.
These choices aren't indulgent but essential for long-term growth and resilience.
Building your permission list
To integrate permission fluidity into your life, create a permission list—a set of affirmations or declarations designed to align with your values and current needs. Here are some examples to inspire you:
I am allowed to prioritize my well-being.
I am allowed to change my mind.
I am allowed to rest without feeling guilty.
I am allowed to take up space and share my voice.
I am allowed to let go of what no longer serves me.
Your permission list is a living document. Revisit it regularly and adapt it as your life evolves.
The role of permission in relationships
Permission fluidity isn't just about self-care—it's also about fostering healthier relationships. Embracing this approach means acknowledging that those around us are entitled to their permissions. For example:
People can prioritize their happiness, even if it doesn't align with ours.
People are allowed to walk away from situations that no longer serve them.
People are allowed to grow and change.
By recognizing and respecting the permission of others, we cultivate empathy and reduce unnecessary conflict in our personal and professional lives.
Permission as a gateway to opportunity
A colleague recently reminded me that personal, professional, or global transition times are also times of opportunity. Permission fluidity is a tool for embracing these opportunities. When we grant ourselves the freedom to live authentically, we unlock new possibilities for joy, growth, and fulfillment.
A call to action
Incorporating permission fluidity into your life starts with one question: What am I denying myself that I'm ready to allow?
Explore this transformative concept further on the To Live List podcast, where I explore the theme of permission with six incredible guests. Each episode offers fresh perspectives and actionable insights to help you embrace opportunities, live intentionally, and thrive.
The podcast is live now—subscribe today to join the conversation and redefine how you give yourself and others the freedom to flourish. Sign up here for the latest updates and become part of our growing online community!
Delia Grenville, Coach, Speaker & Consultant
Delia Grenville is the Founder and CEO of Slyn Consulting, where she helps organizations cultivate inclusive and high-performing workplace cultures. With over two decades of experience at companies like Oracle and Intel, Delia brings a strategic and holistic approach to addressing complex organizational challenges. She holds a Ph.D. in Industrial and Systems Engineering and is a certified Integral Coach, blending technical expertise with a deep understanding of workplace dynamics. Delia is committed to fostering environments where leaders and teams can thrive.
