Emilia Valdez is the co-founder of DeMente, a mental health start-up focused on personal and professional development through workshops, group therapy and community reach-out programs. She works as a clinical psychologist in her private practice and collaborates as a professional in a foundation specialized in child abuse.
We have all heard the cliché, ¨Your life begins where your comfort zone ends”, yet breaking free from your comfort zone can be terrifying. The unknown, fear of failure, and the comfort of routine can trap us in a place that keeps us safe but not necessarily happy.
Science has proven that defying our self-imposed limiting beliefs is key to reaching personal growth, fulfillment, and living a meaningful life.
In the pursuit of happiness and abundance, stepping out of your comfort zone is the first step, but to do this, you must embrace the fear.
Staying in your comfort zone is a matter of life or death
The comfort zone is a mental state where people operate in a routine to avoid experiencing significant emotional distress. Although this might sound ideal, staying in our comfort zone for too long hinders our personal and emotional development, limits our potential, and can greatly affect our well-being.
Living in the comfort zone eliminates stress related to the unknown, but it can activate other mental and emotional reactions like anxiety and depression linked to not being fulfilled and feeling stuck.
One of the most life-changing moments in my life was when my therapist said to me, “The job of your brain is to keep you alive, not happy.” Since then, it has become a personal mantra. Although, as humans, we have evolved greatly, we are still, at our core, part of the animal kingdom. This means that our brains are designed to search for security and efficiency for our survival, just as any other living being. So, from an evolutionary perspective, staying in your comfort zone is an instinctive act of survival of the species.
When animals face a threat, the part of the brain in charge of processing fear, the amygdala, gets activated, and it sends a signal to induce instinctive survival responses: fight, flight, or freeze.
For a moment, think about your pet or any animal you’ve seen. To be fulfilled, they need food, water, and shelter. As long as a dog can get food, it won’t sulk over not being able to live in the biggest house or have the nicest collar. They are happy as long as they have the basic resources they need and they feel safe. And just like any other animal, we fear what we don’t know because it might be a threat to our survival.
Humans have evolved into complex beings, capable of the widest range of emotions in comparison to other members of the animal kingdom. Evolution has made us capable of questioning our role in the world, having existential crisis, and wondering what else is there in life. This means that for us humans, in our conscious mind, to be truly happy, we need more and expect more than just basic survival needs. And yet, when we face danger, we revert to our most instinctive form of functioning.
So, the job of your brain is to keep you alive because that’s how it is wired from instinctive and evolutionary purposes. But keeping you alive, free from danger, does not equal being happy and fulfilled. Therefore, staying in your comfort zone is the way of your primal brain to keep you from danger and guarantee your survival by not facing the unpredictable and unknown.
The brain will always choose what is known and common over the uncertain because uncertainty might mean death. It doesn’t care if you are feeling stuck, unhappy, and miserable in your current life; it cares that you are alive.
Why break out of your comfort?
As explained above, humans need more than basic needs to feel truly happy and whole. We need to change, evolve, and reach our potential; we need to fulfill our goals and dreams because not doing so slowly drains the joy out of life.
Living an unhappy life is directly related to health problems in all areas. People with higher stress and anxiety are more likely to suffer from mental and physical illnesses, and depression is the number one cause of suicide worldwide. By not feeling fulfilled, our complex mind descends into a spiral. A lion in the wild won´t feel remorse over eating a zebra instead of an antelope; as long as the needs are fulfilled, they are fine. But humans feel stuck and unhappy easily. We overanalyze every decision, and we get buyers to regret constantly over daily choices.
So, breaking out of your comfort zone, albeit scary, is beneficial in many ways.
1. Natural mood enhancer
When we overcome challenges successfully, our brain releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter that activates pleasure sensors in the brain, making us feel excited, happy, and energized. Our brain enjoys solving issues and it finds pleasure in being able to triumph.
Dopamine works as a natural motivator, boosting your brain’s ability to focus, enhancing memory, and facilitating learning.
It also affects our ability to pay attention, store knowledge, regulate sleep patterns, and overall lead to better mental and physical health. Recent studies also link healthy dopamine levels to a better immune system, as our emotional state has a direct effect on our physical health and vice versa.
As we succeed, learn and thrive other neurotransmitters, known as the ¨happy hormones¨ (serotonin and endorphins) are released in a cycle of self-boosting mechanisms that make us feel happier, perkier and better prepared to face new challenges.
2. Resilience
When facing uncertainty, the brain rewires and creates new neural pathways, which results in faster critical thinking, better problem-solving abilities, and being more resistant to stressful situations. By feeling emotionally stable, you are better equipped to face challenges and failures in a positive light and bounce back faster after mistakes. Your mental and emotional stability makes you stronger in the face of problems, giving a better perception of life and its difficulties.
3. Boost creativity
Exploring the unknown challenges us to think in innovative ways, think outside the box to problem solve, and find better solutions to daily challenges. It can also inspire you to look for better and bigger growth opportunities. As the brain is in a better state to learn and focus, you’ll find it easier to pick up new skills, try different ideas, and challenge yourself for better outcomes. This self-confidence gives you the liberty of trying out other possibilities without the fear of failure limiting your ideas.
4. Better self-esteem
Feeling fulfilled by chasing after your goals and reaching them leads to better self-esteem and boosts self-confidence. As you feel more motivated, focused, and energized, it will reflect on your perception of self-efficacy and strengthen the belief that you can achieve your true potential. As you feel better about yourself, you will seek better jobs, better relationships, and better environments because you know you deserve it.
A person who knows their value won´t stay in a place where they are not getting what they deserve, and they won´t be afraid of asking for more from life if their needs are not being met in any way. Therefore leading to a more fulfilling and meaningful life overall.
5 ways to break free
Challenge yourself constantly
You don’t need to make drastic changes immediately. Start with small daily challenges to train into bigger changes. Try talking to strangers, picking up new hobbies, or taking the first steps towards your goals. These daily baby steps add up and make a great difference in the long run. For many, the first step should be learning about themselves. Going to therapy can help you discover the limiting beliefs that are keeping you stuck. Learn to identify, reframe, and challenge them to achieve your true potential. With the help of a specialist, it’s easier to explore and discover what lies beneath the fear of change.
Reframe fear
Instead of looking at fear as a barrier between you and the life you want, look at it as a sign of growth. When we reframe our perspective into a more positive light, it is easier to challenge other beliefs that might be limiting our potential. Having positive feelings towards change will help you recognize fear when facing a new situation as an opportunity to expand your knowledge, acquire new skills, and promote your personal or professional growth.
Start embracing change instead of fearing and hiding from it. Welcome, change into your life as an opportunity to explore and expand in an endless journey to be better.
Choose your tribe
Surround yourself with people who inspire you to do and be better. Our environment influences our behavior and beliefs. Connecting with people who have challenged their selves to break from their comfort zones might motivate you to do the same. Learning from people who have gone through the same road can inspire change, and surrounding yourself with individuals who face change in a positive light will reframe your way of looking at life.
Negativity and fear are contagious, but so are positivity, courage, and excitement for life.
Practice visualizing
Learn how to use the Law of Attraction in your favor and visualize your best self. Use the science of manifesting and visualizing the life you want to stay focused on your goals. Imagine yourself in your best moment, living the life you desire, free from fear, and taking the steps to get there. It is not magic; you need to work for it, but having a clear image of what you want will make it easier to take the steps to get there.
The more you picture yourself in the life you dream of, the easier it will be to embrace change, challenge your fears, and act accordingly.
Celebrate small achievements
Every step away from your comfort zone counts. Honor and value every effort to reinforce your confidence and commitment with yourself. Celebrating every step keeps you motivated and allows your brain to feel pleasure in what you are doing (remember dopamine?), driving you to keep going and reaching bigger milestones.
Are you ready for a full life?
Stepping out of your comfort zone doesn’t mean jumping into the void without preparation or a parachute. It means gradually expanding our limits to reach a full life and our true potential, free from limiting fears. Science explains our comfort zone as a safe zone but not necessarily a happy and peaceful existence. When we embrace the idea of exploring the uncertain, we unlock paths in our brains that lead to success and meaningful lives. The key is taking the first step and trusting that growth is always worth it.
Are you ready to take the first step into a meaningful life? Book your session, and let’s begin this journey away from your comfort zone and into your happy self.
Read more from Emilia Valdez Münchmeyer
Emilia Valdez Münchmeyer, Msc. Clinical Psychologist
Emilia Valdez Münchmeyer is a leader in mental health. Primarily focused on neuroscience, she invests her time in learning and teaching how to understand, rewire, and reach the full potential of mental, emotional, and spiritual development. Her love for animals inspired her to be certified as an animal-assisted therapist to further connect with her patients and encourage healing in all areas needed. ¨Your true potential is hiding behind your fears and everything everyone told you you are¨.
