Written by: Natalie Johnston, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Our perception of life events shapes our reactions, emotions, and ultimately, our experiences. Learn how to become aware of the movie that’s playing inside your mind and consciously choose a different ‘film’ to live a healthier, happier, and more fulfilling life.
You’ve likely heard the saying, “Life is 5% of what happens to us 95% is our reaction toward it.” or “Perception dictates your reality” but what do these sayings truly mean? Let's think of a list of things that could go ‘wrong’. Perhaps your phone breaks, you leave your luggage on the train (I’ve been known to do this a few times), or your flight gets canceled at short notice. "They’re all bad things. How could you possibly change my perception and say they’re good?" Well, let me explain further. Your perception towards any of these events will lead to your reaction, and then your reaction can create feelings of both extremes, both positive and negative. Let’s play one of these scenarios out for a moment. Let’s say your phone breaks. At first thought, you could perceive this as 'a disaster'.
“Oh no, I’m expecting a work call any minute, they’re going to think I’m so rude not answering.”
“How am I going to find my friends for coffee later, and how will I even be able to tell them?
“My ApplePay is connected to my phone and now I have no cash to get home.”
“My photos haven't been backed up for the last 6 months, I’m going to lose them all.”
Do any of these thoughts sound familiar? Because that is what they are, thoughts. These thoughts shape our perception of ‘how bad’ the situation is, and then as a result of our perception, we react accordingly. If you view your phone breaking as 'a disaster', your reaction to this may be one of panic, anxiety, frustration, or perhaps you have feelings of being out of control or are unsure what to do next. These reactions will then undoubtedly start to cloud your view and as a result, impact your behaviours. You might start pacing around your house, or strut up to the first shop you see and rudely demand that the assistant “fix it” regardless of the cost. You may get angry at your spouse, “I told you the phone was rubbish, why did you persuade me to buy it in the first place?” or perhaps you don’t even think at all and buy a replacement immediately when all that was broken was the screen. You get the picture (pardon the pun). You perceive the situation as awful so you then create unpleasant feelings within your body based on these awful outward stimuli. This results in your behaviours becoming reactive or impulsive, as you’re not thinking clearly.
Let's play the same situation out, but change our perception of the event.
Your phone breaks, this time you perceive this as ‘an opportunity’.
“The phone was getting old anyway.”
“This means I’ll finally be able to get the upgrade with the new camera.”
“Oh the battery was always dying anyway, this will be great, longer battery life!”
These thoughts once again provoke your feelings. Perhaps this time you’re feeling excitement, joy, or relief. "I needed to do this anyway”, “It's another thing off the list”, and “My new photos are going to be great”. These feelings again influence your outward behaviours. Perhaps this time you’re entering the phone shop and you are excited to talk to the assistant as you look for new phones, you eagerly show your partner your new phone and you feel great about spending the money on the phone as your old one was always running out of charge on your way home from work. This time you have perceived the situation as ‘an opportunity’, so you feel excited about what phone you’ll get next, you are kind to the sales assistant and excited to show you’re partner as a result. These are the same two situations. The only that has changed is your perception and as a result, your feelings and ultimately the outcome.
What if I told you, that how you perceive events are within your control?
They are the tapes you play inside your head. They are your thought processes. The tapes or movies you play may not even be conscious to you but they’re always there and always playing. Think about it like like a cinema or movie theater inside your mind and there is always a film on show. Now that you’re imagining the Odeon cinema inside your head, what If I told you you could change and improve your life drastically, becoming happier, healthier, and more fulfilled, simply by picking another screening? You have the power to be exponentially happier right now, without anything external changing. You are still in the same job, live in the same house, and have the same amount of money, all you need to change is the tape inside your head, or to continue the analogy, the movie you’re watching in your mind cinema.
Just like watching, listening, or doing anything new for the first time, it feels unfamiliar
The new rom-com film is unknown, you’re used to horror movies! You may be a little apprehensive about what's going to happen to the characters or perhaps it feels unnatural for you to laugh during the movie instead of being on edge. However, the more times you watch the rom-com, the more familiar the characters become and by the time you’re on the 10th viewing, you know the punchlines and are laughing before they’ve even cracked the jokes. You’ve changed the tape.
By playing a different mind movie, you can change your life for the better
I fundamentally believe we all make our lives way harder than they need to be and cause ourselves unnecessary suffering simply based on our perception or the horror movie we’re playing on repeat.
Okay, but what can you do about it?
The first step is awareness. If you don’t know what movie has been playing on repeat, how can you possibly change it? Self-awareness of your thoughts can be found in several ways, whether it’s working alongside a coach, writing them down, or taking time during your day/week to reflect on them while walking, running, or hitting the gym. Whatever floats your boat! It’s not until you have this awareness of the tape or movie that you can decide whether you want to change it. For instance, once you've identified your mind is playing the “My boss is an idiot” tape, and as a result, everything they do or say annoys you and leaves you feeling agitated and frustrated, impacting your happiness at work and overall job satisfaction. What if you could change that tape to “My boss is new in role and learning”? You DO have the power to change this thought (or tape) and by proxy, your feelings and reactions will change too. This new thought allows you to feel greater empathy or kindness and then you’re outward behaviors shift too, perhaps being more open and helpful.
Next time something ‘awful’ happens to you, ask yourself, do I want to watch a different film this time?
Remember, life is 5% what happens to us, and 95% is our reaction towards it. I think I’d rather a pic a rom-com over a horror movie any day of the week!
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Natalie Johnston, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Natalie Johnston is Founder of TTM Coaching. Natalie is an accredited coach, BA graduate, speaker and experienced marketeer. She has spent her working career in Scotland, North America, and London. TTM Coaching was born from her belief that we can all become the best version of ourselves and when we do the work on the inside, the impact is felt on the outside, creating the ‘ripple effect’ of positive change. Fuelled by her desire to ensure the workplace, of which we rely on to meet so many of our physical and psychological human needs, is a place where individuals can grow and thrive. Natalie dedicates her time to working with individuals and organisations to unlock their full potential.
