Written by: Bridget Richard, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Whenever I heard the phrase “Drop the ball,” it always came with a negative connotation. What it meant was you failed, failed at something. At doing something, achieving something, accomplishing something; regardless, it meant that you failed. And that's what seemed to resonate with me. With the failure also came the disappointment of others, not being the best that you think they would want you to be.
I used to feel that it was very important to keep the balls moving, juggling them constantly while I'm doing other things in my life such as work, motherhood, marriage, maintaining relationships, being a constructive and productive person of society.
Many people feel this pressure to constantly keep going; to constantly keep everything in motion, and if you drop on, then you will drop another, then another, then another, and before you know it, you've dropped everything; so, this tends to put a lot of pressure on people.
What we often find is when a life changing event has occurred is normally when ball dropping happens. We're not able to keep up the charade of keeping the ball rolling of keeping everything in motion, and that's when we tend to feel that sense of failure and disappointment. For some, this life changing event can be something traumatic like an accident or death of a loved one.
Or it could be a happy event like the birth of a child or getting married. It could be getting a promotion of your dreams and then realizing that it's actually harder to the job was harder than you originally thought it was going to be.
A lot of people saw a life changing event with the pandemic that happened. We had lockdowns. We had our way of life change; no longer able to interact on a basis that we accustomed to. We were no longer able to operate within our daily lives that we were used to. And this sort of thing has probably caused a lot of people to drop the ball.
Now after the ball is dropped, there tends to be an epiphany. Don’t get me wrong; some of us freak out while others tend to have an epiphany. And you know what? That’s okay!
You may be thinking about a time in your life where you dropped the ball.
I dropped the ball, but I didn't lose my job. I dropped the ball, but I didn't ruin my marriage. I dropped the ball, but no one hated me for it. So even though the ball was dropped, or balls were dropped, the world didn't end.
It makes you wonder why we feel so much pressure to deliver constantly. To be “on” all the time is exhausting.
Maybe what we really need to do is stop and drop these unrealistic expectations about how we need to always have things together all the time. It's okay to not necessarily have all your ducks in a row.
Instead of thinking of “Dropping the ball” with the negative connotation as failure, perhaps it's time to reappropriate that term to think of it as doing less than and achieving more.
When we talk about dropping the ball, in this sense, there are three steps that are usually involved with that.
We get clear on what matters most.
We figure out what we want to achieve.
We engage others in the journey as well.
Now the first and most effective step is to require you to really get out of your comfort zone and to identify what matters most your life. Take a moment to think about it. At your funeral, what would you want people to say about you? Would you want them to recognize you for the fact that you constantly had everything under control? And that you constantly had it all together? Would you want them to focus on the fact that you got everything done on your to do list every day? You probably want them to say something more about the impact that you had on people, the world, things like that.
The second step would involve you to focus on what you really would want to achieve in important areas of your life.
An example would be your marriage is very important but instead of just broadly encompassing that maybe think about what matters most: nurturing a healthy partnership with your significant other. Children are obviously another important aspect to us. However, what really matters is that we are raising, conscious, law abiding, global citizens things like that. Once you've done this, you should be able to move on to what you should be doing and how you put your abilities and skills, whatever those may be, to work to accomplish these goals.
Now that you've thought of the ideas of what matters most to you, think about what you would like to achieve. Now it's time to figure out where your strengths lie and how to use those strengths to be able to reach those goals.
Remember the important thing is to remember that you can't just drop the ball and not let anybody know. The important thing is that you let others in on this journey with you.
You're enlisting people in this journey. You're letting them in on the conversation; letting them know about what's going on. It would also give you guys’ time to brainstorm on how this would affect them as well, and what other things you can do to kind of offset that. Remember, proactive communication is key for this to work
When it comes to dropping the ball at home, the most important thing is to come to any family conversations with grace and humility. One important thing to consider is you have to acknowledge and validate what others have experienced by you dropping the ball. This could be due to you being overwhelmed or stressed, and the repercussions that come along with it.
Remember, this is challenging. One thing you'll notice is when you consciously drop the ball at home, you may discover that the expectations you hold for yourself are so much higher than those held by the people who love you and are around you the most. One thing to consider is how you can minimize your to do list by simply asking your loved ones, what's most important to them?
It's important to remember that when you drop the ball openly and consciously in different areas of your life, you're not just benefiting yourself. You're also benefiting others too. You are able to show that you are making a conscious effort to be present for those who love you. Every time you show any limitations, you focus on what your strengths are, and you stop doing things that don't align with your strengths.
Bridget Richard, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Bridget Richard, MA, LISW-S is a Social Worker and Life Coach with 20+ years of experience in the field of mental health. In her work, she is passionate about helping with women to conquer feelings of anxiety and depression caused by burnout. She helps her clients move from being too frustrated and overwhelmed to enjoy life to focused, empowered, and re-energized. Bridget enjoys bringing her message of self-love and determination to virtual and live venues everywhere. She has been featured in the Women's Journal as a "Person You Want to Know" and regularly contributes to Thrive, Medium, and Brainz Magazine. To learn more about working with Bridget schedule your free discovery call at https://calendly.com/bridgetsrichard/freeconsult.
