Written by: Sarah Needham, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
With restrictions relaxing, more of us will start to network in person again! Yippee! Or is it scary?!
It is not surprising that some people are not excited by this prospect. Most of us have seen very few people in the last 18 months.
I think you would, however, be surprised to know that most people find networking events daunting. We would actually prefer to be ‘almost anywhere’ but in those first few minutes of conversation when meeting someone new.
So most of us find this uncomfortable, and yet we all know we only have a few seconds to make a first impression on others. We also know that it can be really hard to change their initial perception of us!
No pressure then!
So chances of making a good impression when we feel nervous are, you guessed it, pretty slim.
Why does networking make so many of us feel so uncomfortable?
One of the most basic human needs is to feel accepted. So for anyone (except the most outgoing), this is often the root of our discomfort. This means if we can connect with one or two people quickly, we suddenly feel a lot more comfortable.
If this is so common, why is no one talking about it I wondered?
We often introduce ourselves by what we do or the roles we play in life (job title, mum, etc.). Unfortunately, this tells others little about us. This often does not build a connection, so therefore we don’t start feeling more comfortable. So once both sides are done with role descriptions, where does the conversation go? More discomfort, feeling awkward?
Let me tell you about my experience with this!
I left Rolls-Royce after 17 years in 2018. Shortly after, I attended an event where, as a Mentor, I was put on the spot to introduce myself in front of 50+ people in German (not my native language)! I was completely unprepared. Previously this had never been an issue for me, I had always had pretty cool job titles & most people knew the name of the company I worked for! But what should I say now? Who am I? How did I want to introduce myself to this group? I realized I had never told anyone anything about me when introducing myself; what was important to me, what I was good at, or really anything about my life.
I bumbled through that introduction but probably did not leave the impression on those attending I would have liked.
But the emotion of disconnection with myself sure as hell left a lasting impression on me!
How come when put under pressure, the girl who can usually talk to anyone falters for words? Because:
I was not prepared;
I had not seen clearly (until that point) how much of my identity I had related to my career or my other roles in life.
So now I challenge you to think about it. How do you introduce yourself? What is the first impression you wish to make? There is no magic formula, but each & every time you introduce yourself, you get to make a conscious decision! Asking yourself these simple questions can help you bring awareness to the situation:
Why are you introducing yourself? To who? What is your intention? Why am I attending this event? What do I want to get out of it? New friends, business connections, potential clients, etc.
What is important to you & what might you have in common with the others? Perhaps I am in a room of other female leaders, people who work in tech, or other entrepreneurs.
What is interesting about you, how are you different? I often use the fact that I have two adopted daughters, two cats & a dog, or went sky diving over Cape town, or the fact I love learning about what makes people different.
What question can you end on to help open a discussion & learn about the other person? I ask people why they are proud of themselves today, or what their superpower is, or what is most important to them in their life at the minute. Now it can be a lot simpler, i.e., ‘What has been the silver lining of the pandemic for you?’
These questions might sound like an effort, but actually, it takes only a couple of minutes to run through them in your head (or even better, talk through with someone else).
In fact, I would challenge you that if you do not have a couple of minutes to prepare, then why are you investing an hour or two of your life attending the event in the first place?
If you are really nervous, then try out at least the first part of your intro in front of the mirror or record it & listen back. Doing this a few times helps you gain confidence in what you want to say.
If you want to take it one step further, then make it into a game.
Find out something about people that they had never told anyone else about in a first introduction!
How?
Ask the question when the conversation has run its natural course & you are ready to move on!
Actually, you bring the other person in on your game (building more connection & increasing the likelihood they will remember you in a month) & you might even inspire them to join in!
If you hate networking, this will not help you always walk into networking events with confidence & sparkle. However, using this can make a big difference when you normally stutter your way through meeting new people & help you feel connected a lot more quickly.
I would love to know your thoughts! Also, what other tricks do you employ to make meeting new people more fun?
Do you have a standard go-to intro that maybe needs a shakeup, or are you someone who takes a couple of minutes to get conscious & challenge yourself to be brave & shake it up a bit each time?
Sarah Needham, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Sarah Needham is a coach with an extraordinary vision: “To create a world where everyone feels they can stand up and engage in discussion about what matters most.” She wants us all to take off our invisibility cloaks and share courageously what we think and feel.
Sarah believes that we are all unique for a reason, and we should challenge ourselves to step proudly into our uniqueness, our own SUPERPOWER!
As a coach, she challenges herself to inspire people by holding regular sessions on this topic. Sarah’s work brings together her three core values: technology, sustainability, and challenging others to embrace their uniqueness. She helps tech founders and leaders unleash their impact in creating a more sustainable life on earth whilst prioritizing their own self-care, and in doing so, creating a more sustainable business.
Sarah is an engineer with many years as a leader at one of the world's leading global engineering corporations. She is British, living in Potsdam, Germany, with her husband, two adopted daughters, and two cats.
