Written by: Karin Brauner, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Did you ever get told something about yourself that you felt you had to live up to?
Have you spent many years of your life pretending to be someone you’re not, or behaving in certain ways because you were told that this is who you were?
Trust me, I’ve been there.
I used to be shy and quiet growing up. I couldn’t help it, that’s who I was, but everyone kept acting like that was a terrible thing. I was uncomfortable being “the quiet one”, but yet, I couldn’t help it. I needed something or someone to tell me I was good as I was.
As I grew older, and after some deep soul-searching, praying, as well as therapy, I realised that it was OK to be quiet. It was OK to be me.
I worked through other people’s views of me, and concluded that I’m fine exactly how I am, and guess what? Now you can’t shut me up! I do public speaking online, I run workshops, I even wrote two books and I publish articles like this one. A transformation happened. It was like something supernatural had happened.
I removed the cloak of shyness that had been imposed on me by others, and I picked up one that matched more who I really am.
I realised who I was created to be.
That brings us to the question in the title, which given that it’s nearly Christmas, I want to tackle from a spiritual, Biblical perspective. So, let’s take a short journey into the word of God, as we reflect on Jesus Christ’s birth and the purpose. He had in coming to the world all those years ago.
Whether you’re reading this as a Christian, an atheist, a Muslim, a Hindu, or anything else, it doesn’t matter. This is about YOU and who you were created to be. Feel free to pick and choose what fits with your beliefs, and remember:
You were created to be exactly who you are.
In the gospels, Jesus is sometimes asked “who do you think you are?” by the Pharisees and others. His answer was sometimes simple: “I am who I am”. Jesus was confident in his identity, and I believe we can also be confident in who we are, warts and all.
On other occasions, Jesus would ask his disciples “who do you say I am?” And they’d say, “well these people say you’re this, others’ say that we think you’re Messiah”. People will always have different opinions of who we are – as in my story above, I was labelled “the shy one”, but was that really who I was? OK, I was quiet, but was that the thing that defined all of who I was? Not for one second! I had to work hard to remove that belief of myself. Jesus did the same with his disciples – he helped them find their voice, find their place as His ambassadors. And he wants to do the same for us today.
So, who are you, really?
In the next few paragraphs, I’ll tell you a bit more about who you were created to be. Who we were all created to be. How our Creator sees us.
You are fearfully and wonderfully made
When I see this word in the Psalms (139:14), I think, well what does “fearfully” mean in this case? In other translations, it says you are remarkably, marvellously, awesomely, amazingly and miraculously made.
You weren’t created by mistake, or on a whim. Every single hair on your head was accounted for, every cell on your body, as it grew in your mother’s womb, was taken care of so it would do exactly what it was made to do. Some became your eyes, some your stomach, some your brain, and so on. Everything was planned, thought out, with such precise detail, that it’s hard for us to even think about!
So, whenever someone tells you “Who do you think you are?” you can answer, “I’m a miracle! I’m amazing, I was created with fine-tuning precision, to be exactly who I am, as you see me now”.
If someone tells you that you were a mistake, not wanted, or that it would’ve been best that you weren’t alive, you can confidently say – “actually, I have a purpose, I was made ever so carefully, I was wanted by the one who made me”.
You are not to be conformed to this world
I can’t even imagine what it would’ve been like to keep being “the shy one”. I wouldn’t be writing right now. I would be quietly doing some job that meant I could carry on being quiet, not bothering anyone or myself. Keeping what I have to say to myself, and not a blessing or helping anyone with the knowledge God has given me. How terrible!
How did I move past that, and how can you move past that too? We find the answer in Romans 12:2:
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
Let me turn this into an every-day principle for you: if the past couple of years are any indication, the population of the world have become used to receiving information without questioning it. Trusting the ones who say it without wondering what their true intentions are.
Renewing our minds means that we analyse, we think for ourselves, we scrutinise everything we hear and see, we “fact-check” it ourselves to make sure that what we are hearing is accurate and true. We need to practice discernment, so we are not deceived or lied to.
When we start looking after ourselves, realising who we really are and what we were made for, we start batting out of the way those things that we know are not true. We don’t conform to what people or society say about who we are or who we should be.
Don’t get me wrong, we still follow rules, laws, etc., but we don’t try to fit into a box that we were never meant to fit in.
We live out our true purpose when we start to realise who we really are, who we were created to be.
We are all made equal – no need to be intimidated by anyone
Throughout humanity, there have been divisions between men: free and slave, rich and poor, CEO and employee, landowner and land worker, and so on. Jesus tells us in John 15:15 that we are all equal, we are all created at the same level. He says, “no longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.”
If anyone tries to intimidate you with titles or possessions, you can rest assured that, whether you have more or less than them, in the eyes of your Creator, and in the grand scheme of things, you are both created equal. You are both flesh, bones, have a mind, a soul, a spirit. You both have skills, abilities, gifts to share. They might be different, but you both have them. They might have been given a few more things or titles, but they are just like you in so many more ways.
I’ll give you an example. Irvin D. Yalom is one of the greats of psychotherapy. I’ve had the great opportunity of being tech support for a zoom meeting him and Windy Dryden (another great of psychotherapy) were recording. I was a bit nervous as these guys’ books are textbooks for us counsellors. So, I was a bit star-struck! In spite of having written loads of books, being known worldwide, and having shaped contemporary psychotherapy in many ways, they were talking to me, and to each other like they were regular human beings. Like they hadn’t published all those books or done all those things.
You see, to them, they were just doing their work, publishing their books and giving talks are part of their careers. They don’t see themselves as more or less than anyone – even though we might get star-struck. At the end, Windy asked me to help him with setting up Zoom on his computer. I was thinking “The Windy Dryden is asking ME to help him with something!” That was a lovely moment that put things into perspective, in the way I’m telling you in this article.
We are all made equal, don’t let anyone intimidate you.
We are more than conquerors
If you are feeling discouraged, attacked or going through something difficult, this might be the verse for you. If you don’t want to recall the Bible verse, just remember the concept and meaning of it. It still works!
There are two verses for this final bit:
For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.
– 2 Timothy 1:7
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
– Romans 8:37
When we are not sure of who we are, we doubt our abilities to get through our current circumstances. When we make a mistake or something goes wrong, it shakes our self-confidence.
Something I tell my clients all the time is this: let’s do a reality check here. Let’s gather evidence that says you can or can’t do this.
Then we’ll go ahead and look back at other situations where they felt awful and defeated while they were going through the problem, but as they keep looking, they realise that they managed to pull through, conquer the issue and move forward.
But they don’t just dust themselves off and move forward like nothing had happened. They learn. They learn that they can do it. They learn that they powered through it, that they had the self-control and ability to move through the storm and get to the other side.
It is so wonderful to see my clients be courageous and work through their issues, like conquerors, in their own power and ability. They succeed as they seek help and surround themselves with people that can provide what they need through the tough times. They seek deep down inside themselves for those strengths and resources (as I talk about in my book) and find what they need to overcome.
They can do that, and so can you!
Alright, I think I’ve given you enough food for thought for this Christmas season. There’s just one question I’d like to leave you with and a potential answer. Feel free to message me with your own answers to the question, I’d love to hear them!
Is there anything that we can do to believe the things I’ve written above more? To make them more true. There is: Ask and believe.
Karin Brauner, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Karin Brauner is passionate about helping people get on track – or back on track – in their personal and professional lives through practical tools and inspirational conversations in a variety of settings. Karin teaches tools that she’s learned and developed throughout her own life and career. She knows how hard things can get, but also how great things can be once you move through to the other side. She now shares the knowledge she’s gained, through various mediums, to show people a path to better self-care, support when processing their past, and working out their present so they can lead an improved life and thrive in their personal and professional relationships.
