Written by: Shayla Liggett, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
What really makes you really uncomfortable but also you know if you worked on it would make a difference and perhaps a big one?
One of the things I’ve gotten better at is doing uncomfortable things.
It’s not so much about throwing ourselves in the deep end and to chase the discomfort doing anything.
It’s more so knowing which ones are really worth our while taking action on and repetitive action on so that we move the needle forward towards what we want to achieve or experience.
One of the things that I never thought I would want to do and enjoy is speaking, specifically, public speaking.
Publicly speaking for me is one of my biggest fears, not an unusual one. I was the girl in class that every time the teacher asked “does anybody want to answer that”, I’d try to look away not looking obvious praying that I wouldn’t be picked, and every time someone’s name was called I felt like my life was saved another day.
Speaking up, speaking in front of class terrified me. To find out later in university, I would present my thesis in front of Strategic Management class, I remember my whole body taking over, the words trembling out of my mouth, and my knee caps shaking uncontrollably.
I was petrified.
And then to find out in my first ever corporate job, as a fresh graduate I had to present to the Executive Team, yes CEO, CFO, CIO, all the people in important roles. I was never getting away from “public speaking”.
The kind feedback I received from the CEO, he pulled me aside and said “next time you’ve got to speak up so we can hear you”.
I was to present to the Executive team monthly. Monthly! So I have to speak again?!
I realised quickly that I could not avoid “public speaking”, and if it was causing me this much anxiety, that I really needed to get comfortable with speaking and presenting.
Eventually, I got better. Practising over and over again before my monthly presentations. It never felt natural and it never felt I was fully confident, I was always nervous but I was able to regulate myself better, with practice and breathing and knowing what I was talking about.
It took putting in the work and practising over and over again.
I wasn’t sure whether I enjoyed presenting and public speaking, but I did get better.
It wasn’t until I started my own business, and eventually with its evolution, presenting to stakeholders was an actual thing, (wow) I found myself in the exact situation, presenting but now speaking about what I do, why I do it, our Vision, mission, purpose.
I realised I enjoyed presenting!
I was talking about what I love, what I’m passionate about, how I could help and the impact I wish to make.
Then, as the business evolved, and marketing has changed especially with personal brands, and that I was the face of the business, I found myself speaking on my social media channel. I really sucked at first, a lot of “ums , ahs”, going on tangents, losing my thought, and took too long to get the point across but I kept doing it because I was so passionate for what I wanted to share.
I realised I enjoy publicly speaking. I actually enjoy this!
And I also realised that not many in my field were speaking on their channels, so speaking was quite unique and stood out. I realised that if I was good at what I did, I could share my knowledge and wisdom but people could feel the energy and get the feel of knowing me personally through my tone, personality then that would build better rapport, trust, connection and relationship.
And so I continued to show up, and every time I got better and better, less ahhss, less ums, more succinct, better eye contact.
It was comfortable enough for me to pre-record videos. It started feeling natural.
The next level of discomfort
I knew there was another level of discomfort I needed to explore. And this was when I realised I truly enjoyed speaking, I truly enjoyed holding a room and delivering a message. I also knew that whenever I connect with a person, I’d build a really good connection and relationship.
My next question was, how do I connect so personally with a person as if I’m right there with them, just one and one but at the same time this is happening with other people simultaneously – all at one time.
Going on live! On air, live, on your own stage (my own social media platform), my own channel.
Speaking as if I’m only in the room with that person who’s on the other side of the screen.
Why did this matter and really put me into discomfort? And why was this going to be an intention for me in 2024?
I realised as I spoke more, and running the business I am obsessed with that one of my life’s aspirations was to be a Key Note Speaker one day. I know! The same girl with her knee caps shaking uncontrollably and petrified.
I realised my key strength in connecting with others is truly through my own voice delivering my story and the message of what I do.
It’s a big aspiration, but as I’ve said it many times before, in order to become the person you want to be, become that person now.
What actions would he or she take?
What moves would he or she make?
This means what would a Keynote speaker do? Speak, a lot, all the time, get better at it, practice. Get on his or her own platform as if it was a real person stage, with not knowing who would turn up ( who’d tune in live) and just speaking LIVE on “stage”. I realised I would create my opportunity of speaking on my own stage delivering the messages I would any other way but getting better in speaking and one day by the time I get on a stage as a key note speaker, less umsss less ahhhs..
100 day live – Virtual stage
And so I decided to challenge myself to a 100-day live across my social media platforms - mainly Facebook and Instagram. My intention to go live 100 times in 2024.
This means having a topic in mind a few key messages I want to get across, press the button “live” and speak.
It took me a good few months to do the first one. Again petrified, uncomfortable, but the urge wasn’t going away, and I knew it was constantly in the back of my mind, and I knew just this alone meant I really needed to lean into this discomfort.
The first live took me ages to even jump on, every time I was about to hit the “go live ” button, I freaked out thinking how nervous I was, how uncomfortable I was, how I’d make mistakes, how people could feel I was nervous.
And then I hit live, planning just only 15 mins somehow became 50mins! I felt nervous, my voice felt nervous, but I was so proud I had finally done it. I had finally begun. I celebrated not because it was a good live, but the fact that I started. I actually did it! And I didn’t die!
That feeling of thinking you can’t survive this and the fear that holds you stagnant until you actually do it and realise ok, “I can do this again” is liberating. I couldn’t wait to do another live.
I’m now 17 lives in! Which I’m so happy about, each live got a little easier, with some felt like I started fresh again, and some I felt very comfortable.
I’ve now got a signature introduction to how I start my lives, so every time my audience jumps on and new people jump on they know who I am and everyone is welcomed. I’ve somehow incorporated comfortably my personality into my intro too and now have the same way I complete and close each live.
Mind you, this also took some practising, I practiced my intro over and over again and now it just comes naturally when I jump on my virtual “stage”.
Incredible things have happened as a result of me going on live, speaking on my social media platforms. Connecting with people I wouldn’t have otherwise to making some beautiful friendships! Along with people interested in wanting to know more about what we do and our business and how we can help them.
I’m looking forward to completing my 100 day LIVE challenge for 2024. It’s only 17 lives in, and already I’ve built evidence I can do this and things are already improving. Imagine what 100 lives can do! Repetition!
Now I’m far from being a key note speaker, and my intention for doing these lives is to become a better speaker, in delivering what I am truly passionate about and how I can help more people. So every live is intentional, with a key message. And that it’s really an uncomfortable thing for me, and yet somehow I feel very pulled to do it.
Again and again.
I hope this inspires you to start taking action on the thing that is uncomfortable but you have a strong urge to do it, there’s a reason why you feel you need to do it.
It’s kind of wonderful how taking action on those things can also manifest other beautiful opportunities you didn’t even anticipate.
Who knows what happens after 100 day lives, but what I know is I’m going to get much better at speaking, and that’s a single powerful reason for me to continue to turn up for every single one.
What’s the one thing you really want to do or work on in 2024?
Come and connect with me on my Instagram page here and join me on my future lives.
Shayla Liggett, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Shay Liggett, Health & Transformational Coach is the Co-founder of Mind You Performance (MYP). Since what she calls the ‘re-birth’ moment, a pivotal moment that became the catalyst for transforming her whole life through freeing her mind, and unshackling herself from mental constructs and old paradigms, she discovered the ultimate freedom and unlocking the potential of human performance across what is now MYP’s methodology of Brain, Body and Balance. She runs MYP with her partner devoting her life to harnessing the potential in others so that each individual truly believes they are possible and fully live their life in their best Brain, Body and Balance.
Photo Credit:
MJ Photography
.jpg)