Ellen Mennell is recognized when it comes to her work in Social Justice, Inner Healing, Awakening, Religious Deconstruction and Religious Trauma. She is CEO of Advocate of Soul, an online coaching business, an International Speaker, Women’s Circle Facilitator, the author of AS IS, Book 1 & 2, and the host of Advocate of Soul., on YouTube.
What happens when the desire for spiritual growth becomes so consuming that it leads to exhaustion rather than enlightenment? Healing from religious trauma is a very real and exhausting experience for people. Sometimes, the most profound spiritual act isn’t diving deeper into the practice; instead, it’s stepping back and giving yourself permission to pause. Let me explain.
What is spiritual burnout?
Spiritual burnout is a physical, emotional, and mental fatigue when spiritual progress becomes too intense or burdensome. This state often leaves people feeling depleted, alienated, and detached from the practices or beliefs that once provided fulfillment. It commonly presents as indifference, irritation, or a diminished sense of meaning in mystical ideas that once resonated. For those healing from religious trauma, it can be particularly disheartening, as it mirrors the familiar weight of obligation, guilt, and shame experienced in former religious environments.
Burnout often creeps in subtly, gradually taking a toll as a distinct pattern emerges. The decline usually starts with over-commitment, where an individual dives hard into striving to heal, find meaning, or escape the wounds of past religious experiences. This leads to a pressure to evolve, where every thought, action, or event carries significance or contributes to a “higher lesson.” Over time, the weight of these expectations leads to exhaustion, as practices meant to provide peace instead become another source of stress. The result is a disconnection with feelings of apathy or numbness toward spirituality. When a person reaches this place, guilt and self-criticism come to the surface for falling short.
Carrie
Meet Carrie, who escaped a legalist religious group. Initially, she found freedom in exploring new spiritual concepts. Meditation, affirmations, and other mindfulness techniques seemed like paths to reclaim her autonomy and reconnect with herself. But over time, Carrie noticed she felt worn after every session. She dreaded her morning meditation and felt ashamed when she skipped journaling to have an afternoon nap. The rigid expectations she had in her former faith crept back in, disguised as healthy disciplines for growth. What Carrie experienced was spiritual burnout, consisting of striving that left her drained, and the practices meant to heal her felt like chains.
For those recovering from religious trauma, the line between engagement and burnout is thin. Religious environments that demand complete devotion, constant introspection, and an unwavering belief only create in people psychological patterns that persist long after they leave these communities. Even in new spiritual practices, there can be an unconscious replication of similar dynamics that must be heeded, with several warning signs to watch for:
Perfectionism: Believing there is a “right” way to be spiritual and punishing oneself for falling short.
Hypervigilance: Constantly analyzing one’s thoughts, emotions, or actions for deeper spiritual meaning.
Fear of rest: Feeling guilty for stepping away from spiritual practices or taking a break from self-improvement schemes.
What happened to Carrie is all too common. Picture a candle burning brightly, its flame steady and vibrant, offering light to everything around it. Carrie was once like that flame. Her energy and spirit shined with purpose and passion in her world. She kept pushing forward, offering more of herself, without pausing to replenish the wick. Gradually, her light began to fade. The flame flickered, struggling to hold on, not because it lacked strength but because it had burned too long without rest. Eventually, her light went out as she wandered in confusion about signs around her. Had she given pause for her wick to cool her story’s end would have been different.
Ron
Ron dove into spiritual exploration after leaving a controlling Evangelical church, reading everything on personal transformation and attending endless workshops on living in the present. He believed that if he worked hard enough, he could undo the damage of his past and finally feel whole. Instead of finding peace, Ron felt overwhelmed and increasingly disconnected from the practices being pursued, not to mention everything was compounded by a heavy sense of guilt. He feared that stepping away from his practices would mean giving up and betraying himself, and yet he couldn’t shake the incessant mental chatter of how nothing he was doing mattered. Ron’s warning signs consisted of:
Emotional numbness: Losing the ability to feel inspired or connected to practices you once loved.
Physical fatigue: Feeling drained or lethargic after engaging in spiritual activities.
Increased anxiety: Constant worry about doing spirituality “right” or progressing quickly enough.
Disillusionment: Questioning the value of spiritual practices or feeling alienated from their purpose.
Ron believed that spiritual progress must always be active, an effort, a striving, a deliberate journey of change. But spirituality can also be passive, like a river that flows naturally without force. You don’t have to swim upstream or steer the current. Sometimes, simply floating is enough. Resting doesn’t mean abandoning your spirituality; it means trusting it to sustain itself even in moments of pause. So, what did Ron do? He permitted himself to rest, walking in nature without trying to do any spiritual practice nor analyze his place within it, and over time began to heal.
My story
I spent years as a missionary, and after wading through religious deconstruction, becoming exhausted from years of service to discovering there were beliefs to which I no longer ascribed, I left missions altogether. After I did this, I felt immense pressure, and obligation to fill my post-religious life with spiritual activities. But the demands and strain to “heal” led me further into burnout. One day, I decided to take a break. Instead of attending spiritual activities, I spent my days at the beach, cooking, gardening, and watching Netflix. To my surprise, these seemingly “non-spiritual” activities became deeply fulfilling. By stepping away, I rediscovered joy and found that spirituality often emerges naturally in rest.
All three of these stories have a common thread. Striving had to cease, and overcoming spiritual burnout required a willingness to shift perspective and let go of the belief that constant and continual effort is necessary. Coming to such conclusions is not easy, and yet there are many ways to start redefining how you walk out of spirituality.
First, consider expanding spiritual definitions to include simple, restorative activities such as reading a novel, spending time with loved ones, or simply sitting in complete silence. Setting boundaries is essential, and limiting the time and energy you dedicate to spiritual practice helps to not overextend yourself. It’s vital to embrace rest, recognizing that it isn’t the absence of spirituality but rather a vital part of it. Lastly, seek support by connecting with others who understand the challenges of spiritual burnout, whether through therapy, support groups, or trusted friends.
Times and season to everything
Life, like nature, has seasons. There are moments for growth, activity, and contemplation, but there are also times for rest, stillness, and quiet. Just as the earth rejuvenates through cycles, so does the human spirit. Spiritual burnout is not a sign of failure, it is a call to embrace the wisdom of the seasons and allow yourself the grace of rest.
Healing and growth do not require constant striving. Sometimes, the most spiritual act is to let go, rest, and trust that your soul will find its way without constant direction. The journey doesn’t end when you pause it deepens. Namaste’
Ellen Mennell, Spiritual/ Empowerment Coach
Ellen Mennell, a trail blazer for Freedom, believes compassion, love, and understanding is key to healing our planet. This led her to live in more than 20+ nations leading humanitarian efforts around Social Justice. These experiences shaped Ellen’s life forever and gifted her with a diverse way of thinking, living and being. Overcoming Life’s challenges and Spiritual awakening led her to abandon decades of religious fundamentalism. Her journey has inspired others to rise into their own power. Ellen’s coaching strategy, writings, speaking events, and inner healing work gives permission to people everywhere to live from their own truth, by walking their own path, and by saying YES to what stirs their soul.
