Written by: Cristina Ruscica, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
As you move along through this thing called life, you may feel the need to prepare your own roadmap to use as your navigation tool to provide direction. You design this map because in doing this, you can place in it anything you want. You hold the belief that by doing so, things will automatically go as planned, in the exact direction that you programmed yourself to be going.
You spend your time composing your journey, as you are sometimes conditioned to believe that it is always within your own control to decide your next steps. You find comfort within this control because it provides you with a sense of familiar predictability about life’s trajectory. Keeping in mind, however, that your journey is very different than your destination.
You may have your goals, wants, and desires. You may seek happiness, peace and love, success, and a vision of all the things you intend to fulfill in your lives. Perhaps it is finding your soulmate, perfect career, or dream home birthed from your deepest desires. All of these things are the destination. However, one thing to realize is that your journey in reaching these things is not always according to your plan or the roadmap you had envisioned. In fact, not only is the journey not always according to plan, but that within your grip of trying to control it, or resist the turns that are presented, is the very same thing that leads to you feeling the most out of control, off track and lost.
There seem to be those times that the roadmap you had so carefully created has now become filled with unexpected turns and detours. However, the lesson to be learned that it is within those times of detour that you are actually lead. Although not wanted, not expected, and even painful to endeavor at times, you eventually surrender to the resistance. It is within this allowing yourself to take turns presented before you that you know they are actually guiding you to something perhaps more valuable than the direction you anticipated taking on your own.
This awareness presented itself to me through the clarity of messy roads, used in the literal sense. I cite a journal entry from January 6, 2020, in which this became clear to me through the eyes of detours presenting themselves on my drive home through a snowstorm.
“I feel the presence all around me as it leads me through all of my messy situations. As I was leading myself, I felt the fear and witnessed this. I know that it is within the grip of my control that this fear had always been fueled. I placed my faith in things I thought I knew rather than allowing my grip to loosen in a way that gave me faith in believing outside of the logic I had held onto. I am presented with no choice but to loosen my grip, as I now know that life will leave me no choice if not willingly done so. I sit in discomfort as I witness the unfolding of this before me.
Driving through the dark, messy, slippery road, I am given a choice. I can resist and hold on tighter. Although, doing so causes my grip on the wheel to become shaky, unstable, and losing control even further. For a moment in time, I do just that. I clench my fists. I shake and feel my heartbeat rise. The road is dark, with untouched snow, unable to see the path ahead. I desperately search for another way out. I instantly feel reaction brew within me as my instincts tell me to retreat and resist. This is not what I wanted or expected, and I wanted to feel the comfort of having an easier way out.
I catch myself in this moment. I realize this and choose differently. I take hold of the wheel with ease (my thoughts) and sink my body into relaxing back in my seat (quieting my mind). I keep my mind open to receive guidance (the headlights shining ahead), and I follow that light for the next ten feet and then the next ten after that. I allow the discomfort, but I also know that I am well and safe at this very moment.
Along my way, I see someone injured. I stop and offer my assistance. They are being taken care of, but I knew as soon as I placed my eyes upon their shaken forms in the snow that they allowed the fear to set in. I see what could have happened. I understand the grip they had insisted on holding onto. They did not allow the ease and surrender to the situation set in, so instead, they have driven off their tracks.
I continue on, and up ahead, there are roadblocks set up. I see flashing lights all around. I am stopped by the lights and told that I could no longer travel this way. I am sent on a detour because the road ahead was filled with other fearful events that took place in the midst of the unexpected messy roads. The road I thought would take me home was now no longer available for me. I was diverted, detoured, rerouted another unplanned way. However, the way I was told I needed to take, was unfamiliar to me. I had not gone this way before, and now I am told that it is the only way home. The roads were still dark, lonely, and untouched. My roadmap did not show me this way. Yet, I had no choice as this choice was made for me by something bigger outside of myself.
I detoured. I did so cautiously at first. Instead, I chose to trust this way, as I believed in what I was told and that it would lead me home. Although not familiar, not what I wanted or expected, and although I felt lost, misplaced, and wanted to feel the comfort in doing it my familiar and planned way, I continued as I made my way back to familiar ground.
Once I could see my own landmarks, I felt the most utmost appreciation. For all that seemed to be a long and treacherous journey, it didn’t seem so long after all. I made my way home, and as soon as I did so, the snow outside had cleared.”
There may be conditions placed before you that make it seem like things are too difficult or moments when unexpected turns make you feel fear and discomfort. You may be faced with diversity, hardships, or unwanted circumstances, causing you to be unexpectedly rerouted as you are forced to deviate from the set plan you had once thought was the only way to get there. These are the moments given to you as an opportunity to surrender and allow yourself to feel the peace and ease in knowing that you do not always have to know how you will get there. Just trust that you will.
Set your vision, goal, or aspiration, and hold this truth to your heart. Then, let go of needing to know every single step you think you need to take to get you there. Trust in the journey, your guidance, and the detours that will inevitably show themselves along the way. Feel your way to ease and loosen your grip to allow your own guidance and intuition to lead you. Lift the veil of the need for control and relax back, knowing that all you need to know, you will know. All you have to do is follow the light for the next ten feet and then the next ten after that.
Cristina Ruscica, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Cristina Ruscica is a leader in overcoming residual effects from past childhood trauma by strengthening self-awareness, understanding the power of perception, and rewriting the script. Cristina's experience working with families for 25 years who have endured crisis and trauma, as well as the profound realizations she came to understand within her own personal journey of transformation, were the basis of the writing of her first book, Breathe Wide Open: Exhale the Past and Fearlessly Recalibrate Your Life. Cristina's writings have provided a pathway of healing that she has now transferred into an original coaching program, Inspired to Freedom. She helps others achieve their own breakthroughs from past trauma, elevating them towards inner peace, self-love, and opening up potential and abundance in all life areas. She is committed to spreading the message of trust within the journey and enriching lives by helping others feel the inner power gained by strengthening the connection within.
