Written by: Dawn Bates, Senior Level Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Whether we agree with other people’s vaccinated status or not, there are those who choose not to be vaccinated, and in the world of dating that is becoming a deal breaker. But are those who have chosen to be vaccinated being honourable and truthful when it comes to being in an intimate relationship with someone?
As far we know there is no way of telling whether someone is vaccinated or not, unless of course, they were amongst the many millions who proudly displayed a photograph of themselves on social media being the righteous ones who were saving the world by “getting the shot”.
Our personal sovereignty and choice to use whatever form of healthcare or disease prevention is exactly that, a personal choice. And yet many people experienced two years of being condemned, abused and isolated to an even larger degree simply because they wanted to wait for a safe and effective vaccine, and data which made sense to them.
Some were happy to blindly follow both the government, WHO, CDC, and the conspiracy theorists without doing their own research and analysis – which included knowing what they knew about their own health situation.
And some of us spent time overthinking before going down the rabbit hole for more overthinking with Alice and The Caterpillar.
Neither is right or wrong, just like the parents who wish to home school their children, or those who choose to follow a specific religion or sexual orientation.
For those of us who choose to respect others for their choices and know that we are probably going to stand alone with the choices we make, we are in a position of trusting others know what is best for them.
If I give gluten to a celiac, then I am probably almost certainly going to kill them. If I give gluten to someone who is intolerant, I had better make sure they have some anti-histamines on hand, and strong ones at that.
So how does all this tie in with the choices we make in the dating world?
Well, for those who have chosen to not get the jab, choosing a partner who shares that same choice is paramount. As I wrote on my blog a few years ago many of us choose to remain single and celibate for a variety of reasons, and one of those today is finding the right partner who has refrained from the peer pressure of ‘getting the shot’.
For me, finding a partner who matches my intelligence, success and activism are absolutely key. He has to have done the inner work of healing wounds and have the courage to have the challenging conversations.
Recently however, I met a guy online and everything was truly wonderful. Non-stop conversations about every topic under the sun, moons and stars, a fellow activist, successful businessman, lover of history and music of all genres and decades, topped off with non-stop laughing.
Conversations for hours almost every day, with introductions to his children, and sharing many of the same views on personal sovereignty, diversity and the situation which had unfolded between 2020 and 2022… and which are still unfolding today. He hit all my non-negotiables, and then he disappeared into thin air, ghosting me which made me question everything he ever shared with me.
Was he really as successful as he said he was?
Were his ideas on activism really aligned with mine?
Had anything been real?
Or was he simply sweettalking me to get me into bed with him, another conquest in the world of the player?
As an author who writes books and articles on various aspects of human rights, in the style of memoirs, biographical nature and auto-ethnographies.
And as a woman who shares personal information with the world with the intention to help inspire, heal and give courage to others in the face of trauma and adversity, he could very well have done his research on me once we had met, and then carefully woven a story which he believed would match my wants and desires. Unlikely, but possible.
Serves me right for being so open and inspirational, right?
WRONG.
That would be victim blaming and shaming, which along with ghosting is becoming a very real thing.
So, what does this have to do with being vaxxed or not?
Well, when the dating site Unjected.com came on the scene, Apple banned their app from their app store, taking away people’s choice to discover others who think and choose freely for themselves.
There has also been a rise in the number of people who are telling a prospective partner they are not vaccinated, only to then tell the person after intimacy that they are fully vaccinated.
This is a violation of the individual’s right to make informed choices, the act of a sexual predator and ultimately a violation of more than 30% of the 30 articles in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.
If I had an STI, HIV or had chosen to change genders, I would need to disclose this information before entering into a romantic relationship with someone; just like I would if I entered into a relationship with someone who wanted children, knowing full well I didn’t want any(more).
The challenges we have in the dating world are vast, fraught with trust issues, without us having to prove whether the person we are choosing to date are, or are not, vaccinated; because other than taking them at their word, there is no way of proving otherwise.
We have to trust the person we are dating to be honourable, but as many of us have found out with spouses and partners who have cheated on us, and done it for so long, with many others, as the latest 3-part series on Netflix Mrs Wilson so clearly demonstrates, we never know who we are dating or married to until it is too late.
For those who have gone through traumas such as rape, sexual abuse and broken marriages caused by infidelity, economic or emotional abuse, trust is already non-existent, and it takes great courage to enter the world of dating.
Finding someone who appears to meet all our non-negotiables, making us feel safe to the extent that we trust ourselves to sleep with them takes more courage than anyone else will ever know.
When the person we are dating finally reveals their true colours and ghosts us or reveals opposite truths in one of the cruellest ways, we feel violated all over again,
And this includes the choice of being unvaccinated, which could be the most important non-negotiable on our list.
Many will end up going down a very deep and dark hole, wondering what they did wrong, questioning everything about themselves, reading and re-reading messages shared, replaying conversations in their minds over and over again, and wondering how they got it so badly wrong.
Some will never re-enter the dating world again, choosing to live life as a singleton, in fear of ever really trusting anyone ever again, including themselves; whilst the one who does the lying, ghosting and betrayal continues on their path of destroying other people’s lives without a care in the world.
Many of those who lie, cheat and ghost another, are players, and as players are often sexual predators who choose the physically non-violent way of manipulating their ‘victims’ into bed with them so they feel accomplished, it actually shows us personality traits which highlight insecurity and people who are emotionally unavailable, and are simply not mature enough to have a challenging adult conversation.
Those who choose to date others under the pretence of being unvaccinated are no different. They exude narcissism and a righteous mentality which is dangerous for all those around them, including any children who are influenced by them.
Children model behaviour, and if single parents are serial daters who fail to do the inner work or have the courage to have the difficult conversations, then it is very likely these are the parents who are creating a world of wounded individuals for generations to come.
The layers of fear so many of us are living in at the moment, and the increasing number of mental health issues, caused in part due to isolation and distrust, are not going to go away until we call out these issues and start being honourable and honest individuals.
So whether we are vaccinated or not, whether we agree with the mainstream narratives or not, we need to start becoming aware of the fact that choosing to be unvaccinated in the dating world is going to be a new challenge on the long list of already abusive behaviours exhibited by many.
Falling in love should be a wonderfully enriching and sacred experience, not something which creates mental health issues, leads to deep depression and thoughts of suicide, and it most certainly shouldn’t be an experience where our human rights are violated.
Whatever your dating preferences, be safe out there everyone, be courageous, and most of all, be honourable.
Dawn Bates, Senior Level Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Dawn Bates is a true international bestselling author multiple times over on five continents. She specialises in developing global leaders into real authorities who wish to give a voice to the voiceless whilst working with them to create brand expansion strategies through activism and authorship.
Profound truths, social justice and human rights underpin everything she does, and at the core of her soul is a passion for being of service to humanity, giving hope, courage and confidence for others to stand in their truth and live a life of conviction.
She writes for various magazines, sails around the world on yachts as a digital nomad and is currently working towards her PhD in Human Rights and Social Justice with the University of Oxford, whilst also hosting her own podcasts The Sacral Series and The Truth Serum.
Her books are powerful and comprise of solo compilations and multiple collaborations of the highest caliber. Dawn brings together the multi-faceted aspects of the world we live in and takes you on a rollercoaster ride of emotions, whilst delivering mic dropping inspiration, motivation and awakening. Her work captures life around the world in all its rawness.
Dawn’s expertise and insights will make you rethink your life, whilst harnessing the deepest freedom of all: your own truth. She’s an authority on leading others to create exceptional results by igniting the passions and fires deep within to speak and live powerfully.
