Written by: Angela Scaperlanda Bujan, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
When I arrived at the airport to take my first international trip since the pandemic began, a floodgate of memories opened immediately along with the automatic doors. We had only recently emerged from the quiet cocoon of our home and were venturing out into a world slowly reawakening. Stepping into the lobby, the doors automatically closed behind me, but the floodgates remained wide open. I braced myself and wondered, am I really ready for the noisiness of life to begin again?
In my mind, the departures lobby and all its familiar sights and sounds of travel, became “Langolier” like – the past, present, and future merging. A steady stream of memories flowed freely, returning me to a time of constant movement. My passport was my lifeline for years. I even had to go to the US Embassy to add extra pages to make room for all the visas and stamps. I was young and my schedule was full, but somehow, in those early years, I immersed fully wherever I found myself. I remember after saying goodbye to my dad at the gate (yes, pre-911 travel) to fly back to Costa Rica where I was living at the time, I would spend half the flight crying for those I left behind and the other half, excited for what awaited me. The flight was not only my transportation but my transition as well. Silent contemplation and self-awareness came easily. This was the pre-voicemail, pre-email, pre-cell phone era. For better or worse, you were where you were and there was no need to be in constant communication.
Years later, moving back to the States and a new corporate job, voicemail and email were introduced to my world almost simultaneously, and although I was a hold out, it was soon followed by the cell phone. My international travel still consisted of meetings, dinners, and a bit of interesting sightseeing, but new and constant distractions began to compete for my attention. Staying connected to the office, checking voicemail, email, and scheduling late-night conference calls to include people from all time zones took the place of deep conversations with colleagues, playful downtime, and a good night sleep.
This was a turning point not only in my world, but really, the world as we knew it. The future generations would not know what it was like to be somewhere without being in constant communication. Instead of a calm stream, I was suddenly swimming in a sea of activity and noise, and if I weren’t careful, I would drown. I had to take steps to intentionally cultivate silence. My Catholic Christian faith provided me with a rich foundation and countless resources to allow silence to grow even amid activity and noise. Daily prayer and regular retreats helped cultivate the essential silence, while my external world continued to grow increasingly louder.
One trip, I remember arriving to a jam-packed O’Hare airport, getting in line to check in only to find the flight to London had been overbooked by 20%. Angry passengers swarmed about everywhere. The noise was deafening. The person in front of me in line, face growing redder along with the volume in his voice, vehemently shot outraged insults like darts, targeting the woman behind the counter. For one brief second, I intentionally blocked out the noise, looked inside to see what I was experiencing, then looked at the woman behind the counter being treated like a human dart board. Gratefully, that one moment was enough to calm my own mind and heart and make a human connection. I avoided catching the contagious anger that spreads easier than the latest Omicron variant. Clarity clicked on like a spotlight and shined directly onto the hurt and misery this woman was desperately trying to shield. I moved quickly to the counter as the angry guy stormed off and greeted the other human being in front of me. I asked the obvious, “So, how is your day going?” Our eyes locked and tears brimmed on her lashes as she said, “Don’t they realize I had nothing to do with the decision to overbook the flight?” Our exchange was brief, but somehow, I communicated compassion for her circumstance, and I saw her let out the tight breath she had been holding and fully breathe, probably for the first time in hours. The external circumstances remained the same chaotic mess, but internally, her own mind and heart had calmed.
Intentionally taking a moment to calm myself, allowed me to extend a kind, calm presence and altered ever so slightly the world around me. The slight alternation, however, can mean the world to someone else. As she was graciously writing a check for the inconvenience of downgrading my ticket, a business class seat became available, and she leapt across the counter to snatch it up and offer it to me. Surprised, I extended my hand to return the check she had just given me, and she just finished assigning me the seat and gently placed the boarding pass in my free hand. She said to keep them both and thanked me again for my kindness. I was not looking for compensation, but it turned out that calm kindness literally did pay that day.
I came to understand that silence is a resource almost as essential to life as oxygen and water, yet like many of our resources, scarcity is far too frequently the norm. Although I was aware of its importance, I did not fully appreciate the life that emerges in silence until I was forced to fully immerse in it. Like the sudden start of quarantine, I experienced another time when my world shut down almost immediately. My busy travel schedule instantly came to an abrupt halt during my first pregnancy when I ended up spending nine weeks on bed rest. The planned business trips, endless conference calls and meetings all canceled. Surprisingly, those weeks, to this day, are still the most sacred time I have ever experienced in my entire life. A quote from my journal on bedrest,
“As I sit here, glancing out the window, looking at the rays of sunshine, I am struck by the peacefulness of this moment – of this time…There is freedom in this peaceful time…we make things so complicated sometimes with our worry and anxiety; how lost we can become, forgetting what really matters…By letting go of my worries and anxiety, to place in God’s care, I am free to feel, to express, to be. I am able to be present to the present…just be still…I thank God for His wisdom, for I am sure He knew my mind and my heart needed this time to be silent and open my mind, my heart and soul to His presence… I feel a certainty now and a clarity that will get “mucky” no doubt, but…there is a part of me that will always remember, and remind me, calling me back when I wonder off… Thank you, Lord, for this unique gift of time.”
Though my bedrest ended with the birth, short life, and tragically, the death of our first-born son, in the still silence, I woke up to the precious gift of life. Every breath mattered and each moment a gift. Life is fleeting. Silence helped me discover how to live life and love fully no matter how much time we are given.
During our COVID quarantine, always the realistic optimist, looking for the light in dark places, I found a lot of reasons to be grateful. In addition to bonus family time with my husband and our beloved other three children, my reencounter with silence was one of the brightest beams of light around. More fortunate than many, amid remote work, family theme dinners, and too many Netflix binge nights, I also slowed my mind, enhanced my prayer life, took long hikes in the woods, and short strolls around the yard. In a world saturated with constant noise, I somehow again had forgotten what silence sounds like. I did not realize how deprived I had once again become until the world took a collective pause. Like our clean air and water supplies, I was again reminded ‒ silence needs to be intentionally protected and preserved.
When everything started reopening, like my return to work after bedrest and losing our son, I was grateful to reengage with the world, but not anxious to lose this priceless resource and the awareness I found with it.
The exterior noise is again growing louder, and our attention spans shorter – 24/7 news, on-demand streaming, and the latest social media platforms taking even more of our precious time and attention. My experience tells me I need to ensure my interior silence grows along with it. I have renewed my daily quiet time and just completed a weekend silent retreat. In addition to my personal prayer practices, I started my own self-study in silence and found many brilliant minds are conducting research through diverse professional lenses. One article summed up the major findings:
“Across disciplines—from neuroscience to psychology to cardiology—there’s growing consensus that noise is a serious threat to our health and cognition. And that silence is something truly vital—particularly for the brain.”
While most studies I reviewed cite the impact of noise and the helpful effects of silence on the mind and body, mystics and saints have known for centuries, the great importance of silence on the soul. Based on these findings, it is clear, learning to cultivate silence is critical for our health of mind, body, and spirit. The bonus check we all can receive along with a business class seat ‒ silence also fosters professional, personal, and spiritual growth. Here are a few highlights from my findings.
Professional Growth
Leonardo da Vinci, renowned inventor and artist said,
“Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence.”
Studies show that cultivating silence in professional contexts can have many positive outcomes. Encouraging mindfulness, meditation or other practices develops one’s concentration, attention, executive function (planning, decision-making and impulse control), emotional balance, social behavior, and compassionate action. It also promotes all aspects of well-being.
Personal Growth
Charles Alexander Eastman, a Native American physician, writer, and social reformer, was quoted as saying,
Cultivating silence can also help you become more present and aware in everything you do. You no longer “go through the motions” of the day on automatic, mechanically saying, doing, acting, but you can truly engage in the day, working, reading, talking, exercising, or whatever your day includes. Awareness and attentiveness also foster positive interpersonal communication and relationships.
Spiritual Growth
Mother Teresa, renowned Indian-Albanian Catholic nun, Nobel Peace Prize Laureate, foundress of the Missionaries of Charity, and canonized saint, said,
“We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature — trees, flowers, grass — grows in silence; see the stars, the moon, and the sun, how they move in silence. We need silence to be able to touch souls.”
Elijah, the powerful Biblical prophet when listening for the voice of God, heard Him, not in the strong wind, nor in the earthquake, nor in the fire, but as a still, small voice. Like Elijah, we can turn from the noise and struggle of our world and begin to listen for the still small voice trying to speak directly to our hearts. As the psalmist proclaimed, “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10)
How to begin cultivating silence?
Although there are many practices, techniques, meditations, and tools available to begin cultivating silence, the simplest initial step to begin listening in silence is to just momentarily pause and check in – be aware of what is going on within and around you? Since we live in a highly technical world, in information technology terms, you might ask, “What “input” am I receiving? What “threats” or “interference” am I detecting? Check your “software” – emotions – ask how they are influencing my actions and decisions?” Substitute jargon from your own profession and you get the idea.
Mindfulness, a practice with origins in the Buddhist tradition and now a mainstream buzz word in companies and organizations worldwide, really at its most basic level is just silencing yourself enough to become aware of the present moment, tending to what is going on both within you and around you, and being able to effectively move forward out of this awareness.
Samples of the fruits grown in silence
You can respond instead of reacting.
You can figure out what is the most urgent or pressing, what needs to be parked until later, and what is simply not important.
By calming your mind, you can not only manage a stressful situation better yourself, but you can make a human connection and help others navigate through the situation as well.
No longer does the noise of the world interfere with your ability to ponder and reason.
You can begin to be guided by wisdom instead of mere impulse.
The “next right step” becomes clearer, especially in challenging circumstances.
You begin to engage with the world around you and connect in more meaningful ways.
Ultimately, you become more agile and resilient.
Silence is Worth the Effort
Inner work is work. It is life giving work, gratifying work, often fun work, but still work. We know, anything worthwhile, takes effort.
Like new shoes, silence and internal listening can feel uncomfortable at first.
I often must remind myself to stay with it and be patient!
Just like seeds planted underground, when we plant and cultivate silence, growth begins to happen unseen. It may take a while for that growth to visibly surface.
Also, each person’s circumstances are so different, so I try to remember, work on myself ‒ no comparisons!
A monk, praying quietly in a cave like chapel most likely cultivates silence more quickly than an ER doctor alone in a break room. Likewise, a person alone in a room may find the silence disquieting at first, while allowing a silent pause in a room full of people may feel awkward and require more intentional effort.
Who knows what vast new discoveries await those willing to wade in the stream of silence. I am encouraged by one of the greatest minds of all time who said,
“I think 99 times and find nothing. I stop thinking, swim in silence, and the truth comes to me.” (Albert Einstein)
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Angela Scaperlanda Bujan, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Angela Scaperlanda Bujan, MA, is a bilingual certified spiritual director, coach, facilitator, retreat leader, speaker, writer, editor, and organizational consultant. As founder of HELP Professional Services LLC, Angela sought to establish a unique organization centered around helping individuals, groups, and other organizations become who they are meant to be. Her unique background in intercultural communication, business, and spirituality has allowed her the opportunity to work with individuals and organizations across countries, sectors, and organizational levels. She brings her professional skills, fluency in Spanish, intercultural expertise, solid spiritual base, and relevant life experiences to the table. Angela has over 25 years of experience working with local, national, and international clients. This background allows her to listen for, observe, and understand the diverse needs of individuals, groups, communities, and organizations. Each presentation, retreat, workshop, and session is tailored to meet the current needs of the people with whom she has the privilege to work.
Angela actively seeks and works toward establishing an integrative life that allows her to invest a substantial portion of her time and talent building her family as well as building HELP Professional Services. She is constantly amazed at the lessons she learns as a wife and mother, that she can apply to her work and those from work that benefit her family
