Written by: Theresa Agostinelli, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Research shows that many people experience workplace bullying. Almost half of those targeted at work suffer stress-related emotional health problems. Forms of bullying can be verbal, sexual, psychological, physical, or online. It can also include blacklisting from future employment opportunities. These high-stress situations can have serious effects on an individual’s physical health, mental health, and financial health. What’s more, fear of retaliation or even job loss prevents many people from reporting abusive behavior at work. Even when the behavior is reported, employers often mishandle responses or justify bullying as a “leadership style.”
According to some studies, the cost of dealing with bullies in the workplace costs millions of dollars to the organization. Those who are bullying others may often be sent home or given a proverbial “slap on the wrist” with time off. This causes a lack of productivity. What’s more, those who are being bullied lose work time by worrying and avoiding the offender. Close to half of those who experienced bullying reported intentionally decreasing work effort, limiting time spent at work, and, for a significant number, admitted to offering a quality of work, due to being bullied at work. The cost of workplace bullying is high for both employees and employers, so what can we do about it?
In my work as a business development strategist, as well as a licensed clinical psychotherapist, I have found that many adult bullies were once schoolyard bullies. I have also found that young children who were bullied take those traumatic memories well into their adulthood and this often causes significant work issues. I believe that it is important to address the past in order to make room for the future. Mental health counseling or professional coaching often helps a person to overcome the traumatic effects of bullying and other significant life-changing situations.
But first we must answer the question of how corporate bullies are made.
So, how do Bullies Become Bullies?
Writer and civil rights leader, James Baldwin, said, “Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.”
It stands to reason, therefore that bullying can often originate in the home setting.
The sad truth of Baldwin’s quote is that aggression is often learned. Research has shown that children who lacked parental guidance, or those who experience little warmth or adult attention, inconsistent discipline, verbal outbursts and physical punishment in their own homes, are most likely to become bullies.
Interestingly children who become bullies often come from a home where their self-esteem has been chipped away at day after day. While personality and temperament do play a role in certain characteristics of bullying, it often seems that the consistent erosion of a child’s self-esteem makes them vulnerable to bullying those who make them feel inferior. Sadly, as early as preschool and kindergarten, children are at risk for being bullied.
What is bullying?
Bullying is considered a highly aggressive behavior. The behavior is deliberate. It is related to a perceived imbalance of power between the bully and the victim. It is a continued intentional negative behavior of gaining power due to a perceived or real threat of being inferior to those around them.
Here, we’ll discuss the cause and effect of bullying, the myths that prevent leaders from addressing it, and how organizations can effectively intervene and create a safer workplace.
The Myth about Bullies:
A common assumption is that bullies are often star performers and that high performance justifies bad behavior. However, the actual star performers are more likely to be targets than bullies. Bullies on the schoolyard are usually those who have had traumatic experiences at home, have seen domestic violence in the home or have been bullied themselves.
Unfortunately, this kind of behavior can spill over into adult years when the bully goes out into the workforce. These mediocre performers may appear to be stars at first, and often take credit for the work of others. Over time, the behavior becomes more and more noticeable by coworkers and management. In addition, bullies are not motivated by organizational goals, and they do not like to play by the rules.
They’re driven by self-interest, often at the expense of others. Research indicates that bullies often feel jealous and seek to victimize those who play by the rules and are considered high performers. In other words, they secretly hate those who are kind, caring, and follow the rules. Bullies are internally aware that they are not the stars, and they also know that by terrorizing others, they can wreak havoc on an organization.
Why do children bully each other?
I had the honor of sitting down with Dr. Claudio Cerullo, of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and we talked about bullying in the schools and in the workplace. According to Dr. Cerullo, bullying “begins in early childhood and is a very serious issue affecting the mental health of children”.
Dr. Cerullo has been a national spokesperson for schoolyard bullying. He discusses the emotional and physical scars of schoolyard bullying.
Dr. Claudio V. Cerullo who has branded himself as the Agent of Change for Humanity has been working to help eradicate bullying in the schools. He himself was bullied and had extensive personal experience with bullying. Along with his two decades of experience in education, he founded Teach Anti-Bullying Inc., a nationally recognized program that works to raise awareness and support for the prevention of bullying. Dr. Cerullo has been speaking and educating on the role that bullying plays in teen shootings, racial and ethnic profiling, academic achievement, and mental health-related issues in schools.
It has been estimated that over 13 million children and teens are victimized by bullying each year-and-a staggering number of them commit suicide. Dr. Claudio V. Cerullo speaks on stages of his experience of being bullied and what he had to endure as a child to rise above trauma. His ordeal inspired him to study, research and truly understand methods that could help protect children from being bullied.
Dr. Cerullo’s book is called The Mind of a Bully and seeks to answer the following questions:
How can individuals stop being so vulnerable?
What can parents and teachers do to help a child being bullied?
Why do people become bullies in the first place?
What's the difference between an altercation and bullying?
The author also explores the role bullying plays in school shootings, racial and ethnic profiling,
Here are 4 Tips to Effectively Handle Corporate Bullying
1. Begin by Addressing Bullying within Leadership
Some degree of prevention of hostile/emotional bullying can be achieved on the individual level, with selection and training. Organizations legally can and must screen out negative characteristics in management that are directly related to poor performance, such as lack of empathy.
While bullying characteristics matter, bullying is a behavior that is often enabled by leaders in organizational environments that allow it to occur and continue. Organizations can’t eliminate egotism from human nature, but it is possible to create systems in which aggressive or arrogant behavior is discouraged rather than reinforced.
2. Increase Emotional Wellness, Growth and Development Programs at no cost to Employee
Training employees can be time-consuming and hard to put on the calendar for employees who are already stressed out and experiencing mental health issues. Good company polices are based on teamwork as well as constructive corporate communication. Managers should be incorporating professional development programs as well as attending them. Learning non-violent communication is another important tool. Social skills are important to focus on. These skills often include anger management skills building, communication skills building and problem-solving skills building. Interventions for those who are bullied should be done one-on-one or in a support group setting. Those experiencing being bullied should not be re-victimized by having the bully and the bullied in the same room to problem-solve.
3. Prevent Upward Bullying
To prevent upward bullying, where the bully targets someone who has seniority over them, organizations need cultures of transparency with clear roles and behavioral expectations. At onboarding, employees must understand their responsibility for contributing to positive environments. Furthermore, leaders who struggle to confront poor performance or aggressive behavior may inadvertently empower those who bully others. Ensuring that leaders have the confidence and skill to address disrespectful, manipulative, or aggressive behavior helps to curtail it early on. Role-playing such scenarios can help develop the necessary confidence, skills, and mental “scripts.” In addition, filing a grievance or a complaint should be a regular part of policy and procedure. This system must support supervisors as well as non-supervisory employees.
4. Prevent Downward Bullying
To prevent downward bullying, where the bully targets someone with less seniority, management must pay close attention to subtle signals. Many kinds of evaluations and surveys are helpful. It is important to learn how to read between the lines. Someone who is bullied or threatened may fear that sharing their reality — even on an “anonymous” survey — may jeopardize their employment or incur repercussions from their superior. Multiple employees providing non-answers like “I’m not in a qualified position to respond to this,” ”or “I know this person is under a great deal of pressure to get the job done — they have a very hard job to do” is a red flag. Leadership development focused on creating psychological safety might be in order.
Benefits of Dealing Effectively with Bullying in the Workplace
1. Manage Stress and Anxiety
Corporate bullying often leaves victims feeling anxious, depressed and fearful. Effective measures can help reduce workplace turnaround and can strengthen employee/ employer relations. This will help maintain mental and emotional well-being and increase productivity which affects the bottom line of any company.
2. Improve Communication and Relationship Skills
Effective communication is key to addressing bullies at work. Managers must be able to show empathy and compassion while working with each person on their team. A good leadership program can improve communication skills by teaching others how to listen actively, give feedback constructively, and communicate needs and expectations clearly. It can increase positive problem-solving and conflict resolution.
3. Develop Leadership Skills
Bullies at work and victims of bullies have strong leadership qualities. Employers can offer leadership development roundtables to inspire and motivate their team, make tough decisions, and navigate complex challenges. Addressing corporate bullying immediately and effectively by being proactive can help in identifying strengths and weaknesses, provide feedback and guidance, and build a culture of trust and empowerment. This will increase better business policies and drive business forward, thereby achieving goals.
If you are starting to recognize bullying behavior in yourself or someone or your team, or if you have been the victim of bullying, a coach, or a counselor can help. You can recover from the troubling effects of bullying. Talk to someone today to help you break the cycle.
Theresa Agostinelli, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Professor Theresa Agostinelli is a licensed psychotherapist as well as a certified personal and professional coach. A widow and single mom at age 26, she found herself with few resources, no job and not many skills. She dramatically changed her life and rose from widow to successful business owner, entrepreneur and author. She has dedicated her life to helping others by teaching them how to maximize their mental and emotional well-being. Theresa is the author of the prolific book, The GRID System which speaks to unlocking your potential and living your best life. Her mission is helping people create more of what is good in life.
