Written by: Lynette Chartier, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Is something or someone trying to get your attention? There are days where I am reminded, as I move towards my vision and desires, that the Universe does see and hear me. However, this same Universe has no choice but to first awaken the buried painful feelings/memories and false beliefs that need to rise and be transmuted in order to make internal space for the new.
As for so called “negative” experiences, I need to have those as well so that I may feel the trigger, search for the pattern, create a pattern interrupt, and make a new more empowered choice in the same type of circumstance. This will in turn get me more aligned within and without and hence more on path. The challenges happen FOR me, and not TO me. You might be wondering if you read this last sentence correctly?!? Yes, absolutely you have.
Side note: As per SAM’s philosophy, there is always more happening beneath the surface that we don’t necessarily understand or that we may not always get to know Why it is unfolding as such.
These circumstances sometimes show up as mere annoyances (likened to a pebble hitting the window), or a little stronger like a repeated frustration (more like a rock against the window). If I am not paying attention, I will receive a problem (aka boulder through the window) and if per chance my head is still in the sand for whatever reason, or I am buried in fear then the Universe has no choice but to deliver a crisis (aka it’s like having a bulldozer drive by and take down a wall of your structure).
"Life always sends us exactly the teacher we need at every moment. It's up to us to open our hearts to the lessons." – Charlotte Joko Beck
Don’t despair
Somewhere inside of you, runs a deep wisdom. You need to learn how to access it and do so consistently. If you were someone who experienced disregard during their childhood, endured profound emotional pain or traumatic events (which is most people), you may have disconnected from this inner wisdom, you may have disconnected from your inner wisdom, your Essence, originally conceptualized by SAM (click here to learn more). You likely started clinging instead to the outside world to dictate who you should be and how you should act rather than learning to be internally referenced.
When we finally allow ourselves to tune within, to hear that inner wise voice, we gain clarity, and we know our next right steps. Our head (where Ego mostly resides) our heart (where Soul mainly resides) and this inner wisdom/ Essence become more aligned, allowing us to make new choices and shift, more easily, the issues impacting our current state of affairs.
Reclaiming your unseen power
The journey to reclaiming the unseen power that lies within you, although not a one size fits all, does require certain elements such as the willingness to get honest with yourself, to look at what is highly uncomfortable, take some alone time for reflection, utilize varied strategies, and at times receive guided accompaniment. Let’s not forget the necessity to be vulnerable with those who have earned your trust and can now be a witness to your experiences. In short, this is the basic recipe to arrive at your desired destination.
The power you have is to be the best version of yourself you can be, so you can create a better world." – Ashley Rickards
An ongoing dose of self-compassion and of self-forgiveness is essential. You might be thinking: “Lynette you have got to be kidding!” I am not! You will need self-compassion, because as one discovers one’s own “stuff” one gets rather uncomfortable – you might even feel guilty or shameful. Like the saying goes, there is no way around it, no way over or under it, you simply have to move through it (whatever that IT is for you).
Like other smart hard-working women, there were many years where I strived and still never quite arrived. Despite long hours and tireless efforts, I really wasn't making the progress regarding my relationships, my career, and lifestyle that I yearned for. Little did I know at the time, that the work needed to start within. A constant focus on what was happening on the outside was NOT the answer, nor would it get me to my destination.
The study from the “Pew Research Center: What Makes Life Meaningful? Views From 17 Advanced Economies” sheds light on the profound influence of our living environment and cultural background on our outlook, expectations, and behaviors. It underscores the notion that relying solely on external factors to guide our choices might not lead to the fulfillment we seek. Hmmm…
Why does it take so long to arrive?
It takes a long time because let's be honest, who after all really wants to face those past wounds? Who wants to have an entire belief system dismantled? Who enjoys having difficult conversations with those they are in unhealthy relationships with or even have the rug pulled from underneath them in the process? Besides if you went too deep too fast, you might just find yourself in fetal position for a few weeks.
Although most definitely liberating and life changing, the journey can be darn uncomfortable, grief inducing and possibly painful. Yuck! Certainly, not my idea of a fun way to spend part of a weekend or my holidays or even pay attention to on a daily basis. Nevertheless, the personal growth and transformation journey is the one that holds the freedom and well-being we each yearn however you define freedom and well-being for yourself.
Now that I am (for the most part) on the other side of the bridge, I can see how and why things played out over the years like they did. I couldn’t get better outcomes until I had done the internal work.
The one thing they don’t teach in public school/ post-secondary yet, is that getting un-stuck lies in examining the buried emotions, beliefs and patterns that are no longer serving us.
Although these same beliefs and ensuing actions may have kept you safe earlier in life, they are most likely no longer working for you as the gal or guy on her/his way to living a more desirable reality. The problem is many of these beliefs and patterns are completely unconscious to us. They are our blind spots hence why they are called blind. We often tend to notice them in others, but not so easily in ourselves. Have you noticed any those mirrors lately?
The responsive universe
What we yearn for deep within and what the Universe/ Life delivers to us is all connected, although not usually obvious. In order to experience the feelings of joy, peace, love, fulfillment, and live the circumstances we dream of, we need to first set clear intentions.
Be careful what you ask for because you need to grow into the person that can emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically handle what will be required of you in order to live the more expansive life you want.
This brings us to the role of the Universe. Once it receives a clear intention from us, it brings forth interactions, events, or challenges that trigger our deeply hidden wounds which in turn will offer us opportunities to tune within and choose, this time around, a different response and start learning what we are meant to.
How else are we going to grow if we do not have the concrete experiences to get us there?!? We cannot evolve and have life play out differently in a vacuum. So once again, things are happening FOR us and not TO us.
Now let’s be clear here – We do not have to like the opportunities that come our way. The opportunities might feel unfair or even devastating. If we refuse to get vulnerable and don’t examine what is out of balance as we move through daily life (AKA keep our head in the sand) the Universe has no choice but to deliver something stronger like a job loss, a big health issue or a relationship breakdown...to get our attention.
Recognizing patterns
In the remarkable phase of life between 45 and 60, characterized by transitions and transformations, the art of recognizing our patterns takes on profound significance. This is a period where we have gathered a great deal of Ife’s experiences, whether heartwarming or challenging, and these experiences become signposts for identifying what has shaped us and plagued us over time. These same signposts serve as reflective mirrors, offering glimpses into recurring themes that are pivotal in our results. By delving into these experiences, we gain invaluable insights into the threads that have woven the tapestry of our lives.
"You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them." – Maya Angelou
Identifying these familiar patterns holds the key to personal transformation. From self-limiting actions and beliefs to the echoes of relationship dynamics, understanding these patterns is instrumental in making more conscious choices that facilitate better results.
By being courageous, examining what has influenced our decisions thus far, we can consciously navigate through these transitions with greater ease and arrive at a more intentional destination. Through it all we gain greater self-trust and self-esteem and emerge with greater agency and the ability to understand ourselves at a deeper level, thus allowing us to also understand others. Our choices become not just reactions, but intentional responses/decisions rooted in newfound understanding. The inner wisdom accessed and accessible becomes the canvas on which we paint the hues of our desires, aspirations, and potential.
Conclusion
"Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it." – Maya Angelou
Personal growth and transformation thrive on the foundation of recognizing our patterns, embedded beliefs, self-protective coping mechanisms, blind spots, and personal choices within the tapestry of our experiences.
The practice of inner work serves to unveil the flawed beliefs, wounds, scripts from early childhood, and ancestral programming, all of which might still be influencing your life’s course. Through this higher conscious lens, we can effectively connect the dots between these internal patterns of being and their profound influence on the outcomes we experience in our lives.
Armed with a deeper understanding of ourselves, we can embark on a journey of intentional and empowered decision-making. By making choices that align with both our Soul and Ego, we pave the way for a more fulfilling life.
The sooner we embrace the challenges that come our way the faster we grow. The challenge that appear can thus be navigated with greater ease, consuming less of our valuable time, energy, and resources.
Isn’t that enough of a payoff to get you looking within?
Lynette Chartier, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Lynette Chartier guides smart, motivated women who feel stuck, unfulfilled, or are playing small to overcome long-buried pain and fears that limit them. Drawing from over 17 years of experience in spiritual work rooted in SAM’s philosophy, as well as extensive study and accreditation as an EFT practitioner, Lynette offers a practical framework of empowerment and results-focused approaches. Having navigated personal challenges across various domains and transformed her own life, Lynette is dedicated to empowering women to make their desired transitions and enhance their quality of life.
