Nad is an adult learning and development, global consultant. He specializes in helping teams design prosocial relationships and become future fit. Prior to coaching Nad served as European VP and MD France for a Fortune 500 company. He was an honorary professor with ESSEC Business school. Nad also launched several startups in Europe. He is an Amazon best-selling author and lives in Paris, France.
Nad Philips, Prosocial Relationship Coach
Please tell us about you and your life, so we can get to know you better.
I am a French-speaking Flemish/ Copt who attended a La Salle school in Alexandria, a European university in Antwerp, and an American college in Boston. I lived in some 10 cities on 3 continents, still have some remains of 6 languages, and hold 5 master’s degrees and 10 certifications. Obviously, I am multicultural and love learning and transmitting that knowledge. I am keen on developing myself and helping others who chose a similar route.
However, I identify best with being a practitioner, every day I am in the trenches either learning or training others or developing L & D programs. I train and coach one to one hundred professionals each year. Over the past decades, thousands of managers followed my training globally in Europe, Asia, Africa, the middle east, and the US. I developed management programs for large multinationals that have been deployed globally.
I am a dialectical and systemic thinker; I hold a constructivist mental model. I consider myself a humanist, my view is that we humans are socially and intricately related to others and the environment making it a necessity to create a culture that will enable us to show the best of ourselves rather than our shadows. In terms of mood or tempo, I am best described as Allegro ma non troppo!
I feel as an artist in my craft, I love innovating as well as adapting and implementing evidence-based state-of-the-art research findings. I am so grateful for all the researchers out there making the world more intelligible (my daughter being one of them).
As a multicultural citizen of the world, I see myself as a bridge maker, closing the knowledge gap or the widening relational chasm. Something important to me is to link the mind and the heart with the guts. We all need to strike a balance between those 3 brains.
Above all, I am a family man, I have a supporting wife and together we marvel at our two wonderful children. I have a brother and a sister which delights me to be an uncle to a bunch of outstanding nieces and nephews.
Tell us about a pivotal moment in your life that brought you to where you are today.
The subtitle of my book the Work-Life Project was: “Defining moments” when it is time to move on you need a destination and a pathway.
This defining moment for me was when I turned 40 and realized that if I wanted to spend time developing cognitively, socioemotionally, and spiritually I had to leave my executive position.
And I did it, not because I was not developing myself and my direct reports at the time, but because I wanted to devote myself entirely to this calling, I also felt legitimate since I climbed the corporate ladder to the very top. If you want to attempt Mount Everest or any other peak, preferably you choose a sherpa who has done it before. I have coached many of the world’s Olympic champions and top athletes and appreciate what it takes to develop and grow.
What is your work inspired by?
The zeitgeist: our current era is subject to high levels of complexity and uncertainty causing stress and anxiety in the workplace. The professionals I meet daily seem at a loss as if their current solutions and maps became obsolete. My work is helping draw new maps and charter a new course. Some of it is experiential through experimentation and learning. Some of it is making available the excellent work done by researchers at the forefront of their field.
But to do that one need to go back to basics, to hold on to something that can act as an anchor a safe haven, a launching pad and a refuge to come back to gain strength and be nurtured, and that are RELATIONSHIPS, more accurately secure, prosocial relationships.
It is no surprise that coaching has become a staple of leadership development at this moment in time. A good coaching relationship is one based on secured attachment and psychological safety a doc to harbor the coachee to allow him to build confidence and grit to get out in the world and thrive.
I am always in awe of the beauty and complexity of life and human beings, a never-ending subject of subtle realizations and inspiration (I recommend reading the wonderful book of biologist Robert Sapolsky “Behave”).
What Prompted the decision to Specialize in prosocial relationships?
The deplorable state of professional relationships that’s prevalent in many big organizations.
To professionalize interactions among coworkers, companies and their consultants came up with this dreadful idea of treating your co-work as internal customers/suppliers. This resulted in rendering the communications transactional. From role to role and not from person to person, it quickly became generic, and non-embodied.
Year after year Gallup poll results warns us about the dwindling scores of engagements at work and the ever-rise of actively disengaged employees. The solution in my opinion is relational.
Relations precede communication and the quality of the relationships determines the social script used and how we treat each other, interact with one another, and talk among ourselves. If we want engagement, that means we start with building strong bonds.
If we want performance and well-being in the workplace, we need to work on a prosocial relationship based on trust and cooperation. This is not an easy task.
How do you help your clients?
My ideal clients are those who have already reached a certain level of team maturity and want to take it to the next level.
The framework I developed is called: Designing Prosocial Relationship TM
The system has two parts: 1) training and 2) coaching
The training part gives a foundation in evidence-based research findings in the field of psychology (attachment theory) and sociology (group dynamics) as well as system thinking and the science of relationships (love and respect). We cover 21st-century management, organization, and leadership. The work is grounded in interpersonal neurobiology framework and systemic and dialectic adult developmental theory.
Coaching is the pathway to implementation and success.
The framework is taking the team and the team leader on gradually guided self-disclosure milestones. We go at the speed of the team.
At each milestone, the team DESIGNS their modus operandi. These values and rule-based system governs the relationships and regulates behavior. The idea is building on complementarity and improving the game plan of the team leader to go from individual competencies and capabilities to collective performance and well-being.
Why do they call you “coach oxytocin”?
Because I strive to help, the team creates strong bonds and a secure prosocial relationship.
Oxytocin is the bonding hormone or neurotransmitter; it seems that the people I coach produce more of it; the good news is it becomes addictive, and it can potentially change the quality of our relationships for the better!
What makes you different than other L & D providers?
The challenge for me was rather to show resemblance because others could quickly identify the uniqueness or singularity of my approach.
I believe what makes this framework special is its multidisciplinary approach as well as the breadth of the evidence-based research results that the teams can draw from to find their unique way.
What would you like to achieve for yourself and your business in the future?
More oxytocin!
Enable more and more teams to build prosocial relationships to thrive and flourish.
Continue to enjoy being in resonance with my clients, building authentic relationships that exude love and respect, and individualized consideration.
