Written by Gary Bennett, Children's Life Coach
Gary has 12 years of experience as a dedicated primary school teacher. Beyond the classroom, he serves as a private tutor, specializing in aiding children who face challenges in accessing mainstream education due to emotional dysregulation.
Children's behaviour is influenced by a myriad of factors: parents, wider family, teachers, stranger’s behaviour in public, social media, movies, music, in fact, children are influenced by anything and everything they experience from the moment they are born.
In 2024, in the UK, there is a lot of public debate around who is responsible for the behaviour of children due to an ever-increasing number of incidents, including knife crime and brawls in broad daylight, involving children. So, the question is asked: who is responsible for the behaviour of children?
The role of children
Children are active participants in the shaping of their own behaviour. They learn and grow through interactions with their environment, absorbing lessons from their experiences and relationships. The words, actions and love of family and friends are what mould a child. The behaviour they receive will be the behaviour they model. Part of growing up is a failure. How that failure is perceived by the child will depend on the language and behaviour of a child’s influencers. Is effort recognised? Is failure ok? Children are forever internalising values, attitudes and behaviours from the world and people around them.
Responsibility
Children bear a degree of responsibility for their behaviour. A child knows right from wrong which is evidenced by the age of criminality in the UK being 10 years old. People will push boundaries; it’s human nature and children are still in the process of learning and development and understanding levels of what is and isn’t acceptable.
The role of parents
Parents therefore, have to be the standard bearers, setting boundaries and modelling desired behaviour. From the moment a child is born, parents play a central role in shaping their social, emotional and cognitive development. Through nurturing, love and consistent guidance, parents lay the groundwork for their children's future success and well-being.
Responsibility
Parents bear the primary responsibility for their children's behaviour, as they spend significantly more time with them than any other authority figure. With, on average, 3650 hours spent at home annually, excluding sleep, compared to 1140 hours at school, the influence of parental guidance cannot be overstated. Parents are critical in every aspect of a child’s development (Cavell and Strand, 2002). During these formative years, parents have ample opportunities to model desired behaviours, reinforce positive habits and cultivate strong values within their children. By fostering open communication, setting clear expectations and providing a supportive environment, parents empower their children to make responsible choices and navigate life's challenges with confidence. They should always evaluate their child’s behaviour, discipline them appropriately and say no to their demands when necessary (Newman & Newman, 2011). Moreover, by prioritising quality time together, parents can strengthen their bond with their children and impart essential life skills that extend far beyond the classroom.
The role of teachers
Teachers play a vital role in reinforcing positive behaviours and providing additional support within the educational setting. Teachers serve as valuable partners in a child's journey, collaborating with parents to create a cohesive approach to fostering student success.
Responsibility
Teachers contribute to the holistic development of students by modelling desired behaviour, providing guidance and creating a positive classroom environment conducive to learning. Through consistent reinforcement of expectations and personalised support, teachers help students develop essential social-emotional skills and navigate interpersonal relationships effectively.
In conclusion, the responsibility for fostering positive behaviour in children primarily lies with parents, who serve as the cornerstone of their children's upbringing. With their significant influence and the majority hours spent together at home, parents play an irreplaceable role in shaping their children's values, attitudes and behaviours. By prioritising parental involvement, communication, and positive reinforcement, families can create a nurturing environment where children thrive and grow into responsible, compassionate individuals. While teachers undoubtedly play a vital role in supporting student development, it is essential to recognise and celebrate the unparalleled impact of parental guidance in shaping the next generation.
Gary Bennett, Children's Life Coach
Gary has 12 years of experience as a dedicated primary school teacher. Beyond the classroom, he serves as a private tutor, specializing in aiding children who face challenges in accessing mainstream education due to emotional dysregulation. As a certified Young Life Coach and Master NLP practitioner, Gary is committed to supporting young individuals dealing with issues like anxiety, bullying, low self-confidence, and self-esteem. His mission is to empower them to overcome limiting beliefs, ultimately enabling them to lead happier, more fulfilling lives. Gary’s multifaceted expertise positions him as a compassionate and effective advocate for the well-being and growth of young minds.
References:
Cavell, T.A. and Strand, P.S. (2002). Handbook of dynamics in parent-child relations. CA: Thousand Oaks.
Newman, P. H. and Newman, B. M. (2011). Development Through Life: A Psychosocial Approach. NJ: Prentice Hall.
