Written by: Marie Demres, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
“I was exhilarated by the new realization that I could change the character of my life by changing my beliefs. I was instantly energized because I realized that there was a science-based path that would take me from my job as a perennial “victim” to my new job as “co-creator” of my destiny.”
From the Prologue from The Biology of Belief by Bruce H. Lipton Ph.D.
Inspirational Words
Dr. Lipton’s words are inspirational and give me hope and faith that the long-standing belief that abuse runs through generations and is perpetuated because of genetics, without recourse, is false. There is hope. Yes, our DNA is affected by our ancestors and their lives. No, it is not a sentence; it is a source of curiosity and a path to start moving forward to create our own personalities: a starting block.
Healing from Trauma
By learning how to create new neurological pathways in our brains and then in our thinking processes and our behavior we can heal. How does healing take place? With attention-focused techniques, intentional behavior, healthy nutrition, love-based socialization, and movement, we can weave our destinies and encourage others to do the same. This includes affirming concerns about ideas and actions that may be widely accepted but propagate sadness and destruction. Reframing our thoughts and asking, “Is it true?” “Is it really true?” helps us to delve into our paradigms and starts us on our journey.
This evolution of self is a time of movement and exploration. Growing pains are abundant, but the intended goal of our struggles has beautiful potential. Like “your foot crossing the finish line first” it’s awesome!
Childhood Abuse and Trauma
Now that we know there is an answer, let’s look at the question. Why are we talking about this? This brings me to childhood abuse and trauma. There are so many instances of this in our world. It is a topic deserving compassion and action. As children learn to adapt to their environment, they set up neurological pathways which may become embedded into their behavior for years to come.
Causes
Children will always act and think to protect themselves and those they love. They have good intentions. When they are not given love or are physically or emotionally abused, they may resort to acting-out behaviors. These behaviors may seem extreme or unusual to someone who doesn’t know their situation. But, when you put it all in context, the behaviors are exactly what they need to do.
Symptoms
As they grow older, their natural needs for love, attention, and affection (dopamine triggers) are replaced by other behaviors which may not be so healthy for them. Those may include excessive movement and difficulty focusing, OCD, inattentiveness, thrill-seeking, drugs, alcohol, self-abuse, deep depression, sexual addiction, suicidal tendencies, or an inability to make decisions. The active behaviors are dopamine triggers, which they are craving. The inactive ones are ways to mask their needs, deny their true selves and disappear, or not feel at all.
Interventions
As a life coach, my role is to help individuals identify the source of trauma and triggers, the way the client is perceiving it and reacting to them, and to help the child or adult to become aware of their feelings and to move toward neuropathways which are healthy and satisfying. (See Tapestry of Love). I am your guide: the thread to your needle, helping you to maneuver new patterns and directions.
Within the coaching model, all aspects of the person are weaved into an integrative whole. Yoga, (See YogamOcean schedule), brain spotting, nutrition modifications, meditation, mindfulness, stress reduction, focus exercises, neurological pathway interventions, and other creative (for children: playful) and individually based activities help children and adults who are going through trauma.
Taking Action
My Tapestry of Love website is a platform to voice your concerns and ask questions and get answers about life coaching: It’s also a place to set up an appointment with me. Children and parents are welcome, along with adults with life struggles. I can see you either in person or online.
In the book, The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D. explores how childhood abuse and/or trauma stays in the body and becomes part of the way that body and mind function, leading to health and psychological issues throughout life. (See the following quote from that book).
“Not being seen, not being known, and having nowhere to turn to feel safe is devastating at any age, but it is particularly destructive for young children, who are still trying to find their place in the world.” Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D.
Brainspotting
No matter your age or social status, there is hope and help for you. You can feel joy and reach your goals, one step at a time. One of the most effective modalities for touching and healing trauma is Brainspotting. Established in 2003 by David Grand, it works. My international certification, training, and experience with Brainspotting have been life-changing experiences, both for myself and my clients. See my article on
Brainspotting in Brainz (May 2, 2022) for more information.
Marie B. Demres
American Natural Wellness Board Certified Life Coach
Brainspotting, International Brainspotting Certification
Yoga Teacher RYT200 Certified
Special Education Teacher
Visit my website for more info!
Marie Demres, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Marie Demres is a Whole Life Healing Coach and the owner of Tapestry of Love. She has years of experience with special needs children and their parents. As an empathic person, Marie has found coaching rewarding and a place to heal within, and to help others move forward in health from trauma, depression, anxiety, and other life issues. Weaving the concepts and methodology of neuroplasticity, spiritual energy, self-love, yoga, and brainspotting, she has created a safe haven where people move through their life journey with energy and integrity. The creation of each person's unique tapestry is an art of love for her.
