Written by Mara Mussoni, Cancer Coach
Mara Mussoni, the first Cancer Coach in Italy and Europe has a specific mission: to improve the lives of people facing illness. Having personally experienced cancer twice, she has developed a specific and practical method to activate people's resources, enabling them not to be passive victims of the disease but to become active participants in their journey towards healing.
Cancer coaching, as previously discussed in an earlier article, is a method that can lead to profound transformation in patients' lives.
This approach does not merely support patients during their illness but guides them on a journey of personal growth and awareness. If you haven’t yet read the article on how oncological coaching can change patients' lives, I invite you to do so to fully understand the potential of this discipline. “From support to transformation” to deepen your understanding.
In this article, I want to share some of the fundamental tools and exercises used in oncological coaching that can be integrated into your professional practice to help patients transform their experience with illness.
First of all, it is important to emphasize that the relationship plan you establish with your client is crucial and should not be underestimated. As you can easily understand, the time a pharmacist has to establish a relationship with a client is different from that of a psychologist or coach. Beyond the time needed to go deeper with a person, the right context, proper privacy, and a clear contractual agreement on the level of responsibility the client is willing to take are also essential.
As professionals, we often assume that what we say will be considered and acted upon by the client. However, without a written agreement, a relationship plan that allows for it, and a monetary exchange for the consultation or coaching process, the client is unlikely to take full responsibility for implementing what is advised.
This is not only a real pity for the client but also for the professional, who risks becoming dissatisfied and lowering their self-esteem over time.
Therefore, these exercises, which are true tools of transformation to be put into practice, are intended for those who have built a relationship plan with time and attention towards the client, such as counselors, coaches, psychologists, psychotherapists, naturopaths, holistic and energy practitioners.
For pharmacists, nurses, and doctors, the gratitude exercise is appropriate, as it provides a change in perspective that can be offered in just a few minutes.
But let's start with the first essential exercise in cancer coaching
1. The unconscious needs exercise
Taken from my book "Oncological Coaching: Take the Path to Your Healing," this exercise helps patients identify and understand their deepest needs, which are often unknown and ignored or repressed during much of their lives, and thus also during illness. Asking patients to reflect on their unconscious needs, such as the need for love, security, and recognition, and to acknowledge them is a first step toward emotional healing. The exercise invites people to write a list of their most felt needs and reflect on how they can be met in their daily lives through behaviors and attitudes toward others and themselves.
Once the list of behaviors is made, it becomes clear how much the person has done to meet others' expectations, to please others at the expense of themselves, in order to be accepted, loved, and wanted, first by their family context and then by everyone else in their lives.
These are legitimate behaviors, well tolerated by all, but unfortunately, they do not nurture self-love and true self-recognition, undermining self-esteem and personal power.
Seen from this perspective, as a defense and protection mechanism that each of us puts in place to survive, it leads to a deep understanding that we have been loved for what we are not, rather than for who we truly are. Therefore, restoring balance and healing means re-establishing boundaries, knowing what nourishes us and what harms us, and taking the path of truth and real life.
This powerful and fundamental exercise opens new horizons and creates an effective turning point in the person’s life, making them aware and active in their new life by practicing self-healing behaviors.
2. The "f**k you" exercise – The 101 "f**k you" technique
Another powerful tool is the "F**k You" exercise, also explained in detail in the book. This exercise allows patients to safely and liberatingly express all the anger, frustration, and pain accumulated during their life and illness experience.
After recognizing all the self-inflicted harm due to unconsciousness, the accumulated anger combines with the existing anger, making the situation explosive, after it has simmered for so long.
Rather than venting frustrations onto others, particularly family members, it is more constructive to work through and release anger independently.
This exercise allows for that, creating space within the heart and soul of the person, who begins to shine again and regain light and hope.
Making a list of all the "F**k Yous" they would have liked to say but didn’t—to a person, a situation, or even the illness itself, using strong and direct language, allows patients to release negative emotions that would otherwise remain repressed. This act of emotional expression is indeed one of the first steps toward deeper healing and the truest expression of oneself, making real prevention in relationships.
3. The gratitude exercise
This exercise is truly for everyone, and it doesn’t need to be reiterated how science has already proven and validated its effectiveness.
Being grateful, despite everything, raises vibrations, changes the body’s chemistry, and helps foster a proactive attitude in the person’s life.
Thus, the gratitude exercise helps patients rediscover and appreciate the positive aspects of their lives, despite the illness. Every day, patients are invited to write down three things they are grateful for. This simple exercise can transform a patient’s perspective, shifting focus from pain and suffering to small moments of joy and fulfillment, promoting a more positive and proactive mental attitude.
Conclusion
These three exercises, recognizing needs, expressing anger, and practicing gratitude, represent just a part of the tools available in oncological coaching. However, they constitute fundamental steps to guide patients toward greater awareness and personal transformation during illness. By integrating these exercises into your practice, you can help your patients see illness not just as a physical discomfort but as an opportunity to grow and heal on a deeper level.
I would be happy to hear about the results of these exercises put into practice. If you want to delve into the entire method and become specialized in Cancer Coaching and a Cancer Coach, contact me, and I will be glad to help you fulfill your mission of making a difference in the lives of many people.
Mara Mussoni, Cancer Coach
Mara Mussoni, the first Cancer Coach in Italy and Europe has a specific mission: to improve the lives of people facing illness. Having personally experienced cancer twice, she has developed a specific and practical method to activate people's resources, enabling them not to be passive victims of the disease but to become active participants in their journey towards healing. She helps individuals directly and indirectly affected by illness and she trains hundreds of care relationship professionals worldwide, equipping them with a specific method to utilize effective communication, approaches, and transformative strategies, making a difference in the lives of those they assist.
