Written by: Renate Prandl, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Rob Reiner’s 1992 movie A FEW GOOD MEN stars an ensemble cast including Tom Cruise, Jack Nicholson, Demi Moore, Kevin Bacon, Kevin Pollak, J.T. Walsh, Cuba Gooding Jr., and Kiefer Sutherland.
The most famous scene in the movie is when “crusty old dog” Nicholson (the Guantanamo Commander) is questioned by inexperienced Tom Cruise (Navy lawyer) about what happened in the hazing incident which had resulted in the death of another Marine.
Cruise says,” I want the truth”, and Nicholson answers, ”You can’t handle the truth”. Very dramatic. I recommend watching the movie. It’s not about war, but courtroom drama involving military men and women.
Now, I am not talking about the movie plot. I am talking about things happening behind the scenes, things that may leave us feeling uneasy, frustrated, depressed, or not good enough.
If you pursue the truth, be prepared for answers you may not want to hear.
If you are not exactly where you want to be in your life, your “competitors” are way more successful than you are, they make more sales, have more clients and you put your heart and your soul into your business without the same or similar results you may want to hear this.
Let me pull back the curtain and give you a real example. Are you ready?
If you are a speaker, trainer, coach, thought leader and you give your very best all the time, you show up 100% every single time, you give value, you constantly overdeliver, you have immense knowledge and skills, and yet not many people signing up for your programs. Yeah, they like you, they give you the thumbs up, they are probably motivated or inspired, and when they sign up with your competitors. Another speaker, coach, trainer who is probably equally skilled, who probably has the same attitude as you, who is giving value serving the students, OR this person is not as good as you are, doesn’t really come from the heart, and let people sign up with this other person. Not with you.
There might be lots of reasons people look for excuses not to invest in you. It could be like oh he or she is too tall, too short, long hair, short hair, brown hair, specific race, skin tone, too pretty, not pretty enough, don't like the voice, you get the gist, don’t you? I feel there is always “something” people look for to not invest in your products or services, your vision.
Let's say you got everything optimized, it's picture-perfect, and yet your prospects sign up with the other person.
Something similar happened to me last week. Four of us came together for a mini-event sharing our expertise, and our knowledge, for free and even gifted a certain amount of our time as part of our pro bono work. These invitations were for free calls where usually people must invest. Four experts in their own field gifted their time and expertise to the people who showed up. What was the response to the offer? What do you think?
Well, to tell the truth, it wasn’t exactly like we had envisioned or expected. Bummer, right?
Now it gets interesting. At about the same there was another expert, actually, a peer of ours, broadcasting and sharing his expertise. I managed to hop on the other person's broadcast towards the end to learn. You must know that this person is probably not prettier, I guess (but beauty is in the eyes of the beholder they say), probably not smarter than the 4 of us, and has no special power. He is a fantastic person, an amazing human being, he is a person of integrity, and he is coming from the heart. He has extensive knowledge and expertise in his field. Love and appreciate him.
Now you want to pay real attention. During his presentation which was great (I watched the full replay, so I KNOW) there wasn’t a lot of traction, less than a handful of signups. And then BOOM some magic started to happen.
His mentor hopped on this broadcast as a surprise. This mentor is also one of my/our mentors, he is one of the best of the best in his field, he has CREDIBILITY and, of course, lots of knowledge. He is “the source” and all four of us got trained by this person. Now it gets interesting. When our mentor started to work on the message, the language, basically when he started to put his weight into the ring, clarifying, making sure people had those AHA moments, got the value of the proposal, things started to SHIFT. During the time the presenter did not change anything, didn't say anything different than before.
Once the mentor with his huge credibility, the trust people have in him, has a massive sense of AUTHORITY, once HE clarified, sifted, sorted, and punctuated, people were willing to listen, get it, feel it.
More magic happened and sales started to roll in. It’s that easy.
You might say now, “Renate, wow, that's not fair.” The truth is, and that's why I asked If you can handle the truth, the truth is that life is not fair and sometimes it’s not your fault. Some people have unfair advantages in any area of their life their career and business, their relationships, their health and well-being, and opportunities.
See, the other presenter had not asked our mentor to show up. It happened as there are things happening behind the scenes which we usually do not know or see.
Things happen the way they happen. While we cannot change what happened, we have options on how to REACT.
We, the four of us, could be extremely frustrated, we could be doubtful like “how come this person makes all those sales and people invest in his product and not ours?” This is not the point. The people who invested in his services got the deal of a lifetime. All good.
YOU might have experienced something like this, and your reaction might have looked like that:
I have tried so much, I have given my all, it's not for me, it doesn't work out, I give up.
Sounds familiar? If it is, STOP. Stop right now.
It's your responsibility to share your knowledge and expertise because you may, even if it's just one person, you may make all the difference in their life.
So, what did I take away from this week which was really like a roller coaster?
1. It does not necessarily have to do with how good you are. Please don't misunderstand what I am saying. I'm not telling you to be poorly equipped, I'm not telling you to not show up with integrity. Always show up as your very best self.
2. Sometimes they're unfair advantages. We cannot change the situation, the past. We cannot change how other people think or show up. We cannot change some of the circumstances.
3. We can change though is HOW we react and that's the truth. You can choose to be frustrated, or give up, or you can choose to keep working, showing up as your very best self.
4. You can LEARN whole new skillsets, refine, update, elevate and become even better at what you do. There is always room for growth.
5. Become a better communicator and make sure that people know what you can offer to make a difference in THEIR lives. Let them know some distinctions, why YOU are UNIQUE, and the only logical choice.
6. Get a mentor or coach because we all have blind spots. Even so, we might think we have a very clear picture of our offer and services, a mentor who has done what we are about to do has clarity, a different angle looking at the scenario from the outside.
7. Ge yourself some accountability partners, partners who are there for you, with you, partners who give you feedback, who have your back. Community is precious and mission-critical.
8. Most profound takeaway is the importance of CONNECTION. It’s not like “I pay you and you come to my rescue, and you support me”. Connection is really about who do you serve, and who do you support? It’s maybe a person who is ahead of you, a peer, a person who has achieved what you are about to achieve. A person who is already there, at this place where you are going to go to. Ask them how you can support their mission first! The more you give, the more these people are willing to give back. And no, I'm not telling you to just give something because you expect something in return. It's not like that. It doesn't work like that. You give give give give give, and you really give from the heart, only then other people might be willing to be there for you as well. What could you get in return from this connection? It could be say a testimonial, it could be just connecting with other people who might be able to support you, to fast track your journey. It’s all about connection, connection with your heart, it's about connecting with your audience (they feel your energy, they feel whether you come from the heart). Even all 5 (actually 6) of us came from the heart with the intention of serving, it was never ever an even battlefield. I did not even think it would be a “battlefield”, a competition. I only realized afterward that's how life is, life is not always fair. It's not just who you are, it's also WHO you KNOW.
This can be kind of very borderline sometimes. I'm all about INTEGRITY. I'm not telling you to be friends with someone just to get an unfair advantage. What I am telling you is not to give up. Look for ways to serve more people. The more you give the more you will receive. Don’t get discouraged, this may have been one incident, right, and who knows what happens next time.
We are learning from this experience, we may probably bring people on as tech support, just helping us out by bringing people in the zoom room so that we can focus on our presentation and more importantly, our AUDIENCE. Maybe being even more experiential, more interactive, answering more questions, and addressing some of their main concerns.
Learning and improving.
Life is not fair.
You may fall.
So, what.
Get up and keep moving.
You fall again.
Fine.
Just fall forward.
I just wanted to share this with you because normally people don't tell you and you might be like “Oh my goodness, this other person (I'm not talking about this specific incident now, just to be clear) he/she has half my expertise, half my knowledge, and still crushes it. I am struggling.
Just to let you know that it might not be you, it might not be your fault. Now think what else you could do, who you could reach out to, who you could support first and potentially get their support eventually.
I hope this serves you. If you have any questions or some feedback, please go to https://www.RenatePrandl.com/ and apply for a free 15-minute success activation call. For free. Complimentary. No credit card is required. My way of paying it forward.
I will tell you the truth if you enthusiastically run in the wrong direction. I will tell the truth. The truth and our words mean everything.
I love what I do, helping people turn obstacles into steppingstones, shift from pain into their power and live a life by design.
Looking forward to potentially talking to you IF you can handle the truth.
With love and gratitude,
Renate
Renate Prandl, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Renate Prandl is Asia's Premier Sustainable Life Mastery Strategist, Certified Feldenkrais® Expert, sports coach, mentor, and Certified High Performance(™) coach. With over 40 years of combined experience as a Professor in a business school and entrepreneur, Renate uses a variety of proven techniques and applications to help you reach your highest potential, get to the Next Level, and potentially live your Life by Design in a holistic, doable and sustainable way. Her "Power of 3" systems help you turn obstacles into stepping stones and build Physical, Emotional, Financial Resilience. Renate is the CEO of Body & Brain, Founder of Body And Brain Mastery, International Bestselling Author of 3 books, and has lived on 3 continents. Her mission: Anything is possible.
