Renowned author and coach with a unique blend of experience as a former D1 softball player, Certified Mental Performance Consultant, and a distinguished 15+ years honing the mental toughness and resilience of Soldiers through expert teaching and training. Passionate about empowering today's youth.
Confidence is the invisible fuel that powers an athlete’s performance. It enables them to step onto the field, court, or mat with belief in their abilities, ready to face any challenge. Yet, even the most talented athletes can struggle with self-doubt, and helping them overcome it is one of the greatest gifts parents and coaches can offer.
A story of confidence transformed
Think of Serena Williams, widely regarded as one of the greatest tennis players of all time. Early in her career, despite her raw talent, Serena battled moments of self-doubt. In interviews, she has openly shared how her family’s unwavering support and focus on preparation played pivotal roles in building her confidence. This combination of external reinforcement and internal belief enabled her to dominate the sport for decades. Serena’s journey is a powerful reminder that confidence isn’t a fixed trait. It is a skill that can be developed, even in the face of doubt.
Understanding confidence
At its core, confidence is a belief in one’s ability to achieve specific goals, tasks, or actions. It’s not about being overly cocky or always certain of success. Rather, it’s about trusting your preparation or skill set and staying resilient in challenging situations.
Confidence fluctuates for all athletes, influenced by factors like recent performance, perceived ability, and external feedback. This is especially true for young athletes, who are still developing their sense of self. Here’s the good news: as parents and coaches, you have the power to positively influence their confidence. By creating an environment that emphasizes effort, learning, and growth, you can help athletes see themselves as capable and prepared.
The confidence formula
Building confidence doesn’t happen overnight. It is the result of deliberate actions and mindset shifts. Here’s a simple, actionable formula to guide parents and coaches:
1. Self-awareness and discovery: Identifying strengths and areas for growth
The first step to building confidence is helping young athletes understand their own abilities. Encourage them to reflect on:
What they do well: This helps them recognize their strengths and leverage them during competition.
Where they can improve: Framing weaknesses as opportunities for growth reduces fear and builds resilience.
Example: If your athlete struggles with free throws, acknowledge their strong defensive skills while working with them to improve their shooting technique.
2. Preparation: Building confidence through practice
Confidence thrives on preparation. The more an athlete practices and masters a skill, the more confident they’ll feel in their ability to perform under pressure. Consistent, focused practice builds a foundation of trust in their readiness.
Example: Kobe Bryant famously credited his confidence to his relentless preparation. He would shoot hundreds of baskets in practice, knowing that preparation gave him an edge during games.
Mental practice or visualization is another effective way to develop confidence. Mentally rehearsing tactics, such as how to approach an opponent or execute a specific play, helps create a mental blueprint for success. Many scenarios in sports are tough to recreate in practice, but if an athlete vividly imagines them and focuses on how they will succeed, they can build confidence for unexpected moments. Visualization is a powerful tool that prepares athletes for challenges they may face.
Example: Michael Phelps famously used mental practice to rehearse his races, including how he would respond if his goggles filled with water. When that exact scenario happened during the Olympics, Phelps relied on his mental blueprint, staying calm and executing his strokes with precision to win gold. This demonstrates how vividly imagining challenges and rehearsing success can empower athletes to handle adversity with confidence.
Tip for Parents and Coaches: Help your athlete set specific, achievable practice goals. Celebrate progress, no matter how small, to reinforce their belief in the process.
3. Positive reinforcement: Using language that builds confidence
The words parents and coaches use have a powerful impact on an athlete’s confidence. Positive reinforcement focuses on effort, growth, and controllable factors, rather than outcomes.
Do say: “I’m proud of how hard you worked during practice today.”
Avoid saying: “You should’ve scored more points.”
Example: After a tough loss, instead of focusing on mistakes, highlight what went well. “Your hustle on defense was amazing. That kind of effort is what will make you unstoppable.”
A quick-start confidence-building exercise
Here’s a simple exercise parents and coaches can implement immediately to boost confidence: the “Highlight Reel.”
Step 1: Ask your athlete to write down three things they did well after each game or practice.
Step 2: Encourage them to reflect on what those strengths mean for their overall progress.
Step 3: Keep the list visible (e.g., on the fridge or in their sports journal) as a reminder of their growth and achievements.
This exercise helps athletes focus on their progress, even on tough days, fostering a mindset of growth and confidence.
Confidence is a game-changer, but building it requires intentional effort. For more actionable tips and insights, check out my Confident, Calm & Clutch Car Ride Conversations podcast episode, “The Confidence Formula,” or subscribe to my newsletter. Together, we’ll explore practical tools to help your athlete overcome self-doubt and step into their full potential.
Let’s build the kind of confidence that empowers young athletes to succeed not just in sports but in life.
Read more from Valerie Alston
Valerie Alston, Mental Performance and Resilience Coach
Drawing from a rich background as a former D1 softball player and a Certified Mental Performance Consultant, she boasts over 15 years of experience dedicated to teaching and training Soldiers in the intricate art of mental toughness and resilience. As a distinguished author and coach, she brings a unique perspective to the realm of performance enhancement. Currently, her passion lies in empowering today's youth, leveraging her expertise to build and foster resilience through sports and mental toughness training, ensuring the next generation thrives in both their athletic pursuits and broader life challenges. With a comprehensive approach to athlete development, she extends her expertise to parents and coaches. Committed to enhancing understanding, she collaborates with them to impart valuable insights on building the mental toughness of young athletes, fostering an environment that nurtures resilience and unleashes their full potential.
