Written by: Kelly Hater, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Anyone getting the itch to travel? A nice long weekend trip to the great Chicago, Illinois is always a good choice. One of my favorite spots in the great Chi town is Millenium Park. In this beautiful park, you can find the fantastic “Cloud Gate” (aka “The Bean”) art installation. Cloud Gate is a giant elliptical structure made of polished stainless-steel plates. A 12-foot arch invites visitors to walk through the “gate” to view themselves in the mirror-like reflection of the polished steel. If you have visited here, then you could agree that it is irresistible to not stand in the archway to view your reflection.
The image you see is distorted. It portrays a surreal and obviously inaccurate picture of who you are in real life. It is fun to pretend to be something you’re not in that moment. At the same time, however, it resembles real life in that we all sometimes see a distorted version of ourselves when we look into a mirror. Mirrors, while they are very useful tools, can be a vehicle of self-destruction. We use mirrors to see a reflection of ourselves. Sadly, sometimes when we look into a mirror, instead of seeing the beauty we can only see the flaws. The zits, the wrinkles, the gray hairs, the postpartum baby belly are the only thing we allow ourselves to see.
The reflection we see when we do not have a healthy body image is kind of like the image you see when you look into the bean in Millenium Park, distorted. What if when you looked into a mirror, all you saw was a sexy, beautiful, healthy body? Truly, it is an empowering state of mind. I have seen both reflections before and I can tell you that the reflection that sees beauty is the one you want to see day in and day out. A healthy body image is so important to maintain. Just like all things, body positivity takes work, and it changes with the ebb and flow of life. I came up with 5 easy things you can do to feel more comfortable in your body and feel good about the way you look.
Wear clothes that are comfortable and make you feel good about your body.
TIP: Flatter your figure by buying the right size clothes.
Wearing the right type of clothes is an epic move towards a positive body image. The reality is when you look good, you feel good. It does not have to be expensive clothes, but it should at least be clothes that fit you. Get a tape measure out of your toolbox in the basement and take some measurements. That is the only way to know what size you need to buy. Check the sizing chart and you know what to do next. So, what if you must buy the 1X size. If your hips are wide, then that is the size pants you need for them to fit properly. If they do not fit right, then they will not feel good to wear. You will just keep tugging and yanking on them all day long. I have done it. You have done it. Do yourself a favor and stop looking frumpy in your clothes. This small investment in your wardrobe will do wonders for your body image. You will feel sexy and confident again, almost instantly, I promise. Remember, nothing is sexier than a woman with confidence.
If you can move, then move.
TIP: Whatever it is that you look like while you are moving, own it!
Being able to move your body is a gift. Do not get bogged down by the way you look when you move. If you must avoid the mirror when you workout then you go ahead and avoid looking in the mirror. In no way should you ever feel ashamed or embarrassed about how you look when you move your body. You are moving and that is a blessing no matter how you look. It’s not just a matter of how you look, but movement is also a way to naturally elevate our mood. Ever hear of the “runner's high”? Yup, it is a real thing. it. Physical activity reduces the level of the stress hormones, adrenaline, and cortisol. At the same time, it signals the production of endorphins. Endorphins are chemicals in the brain that work as natural pain killers and elevate our mood. Get out there and move that body in any way you can move. Walk, dance, bike, clean your house, garden, pull weeds, shovel snow...you get the idea. Now get going!
Give thanks for your body.
TIP: Create a gratitude journal that is dedicated to body positivity
A gratitude journal is a physical record of experiences, events, people, and things you appreciate in your life. The practice of writing down these positive events helps you to enjoy positive emotions they evoke. Using an old-fashioned pen and paper is important. The exercise of writing it down gives our mind a mental space to really savor the good energy from gratitude. The more you practice thinking positive thoughts about your body the fewer negative thoughts sneak into our brain waves. You do not even need a proper journal book; you could simply just start by using post-it notes. Write one thing on each post-it and stick it to your bathroom mirror as a daily reminder of your awesome body and the amazing journey it has been on. Start with a short-term commitment of one entry per week for an entire month. Then, if you can and want to keep going, add a second goal of writing in it three times a week for a month. Experts say specificity is essential to fostering gratitude, so do not be afraid to add a few details. Do not be afraid to be grateful for things that your body is not. Consider what your life would be like without your body just the way it is right now. Fortune is not to be taken for granted, and even in a state of misfortune with our body, there is beauty to be found and appreciated.
Clean up your social media feed.
TIP: Follow people and organizations who evoke body-positive vibes for you.
It sounds like a small thing, but each time you view your social media feed you are absorbing images, messages and stories that may not be realistic for you. Not only are we exposed to images of unattainable beauty, but we also are encouraged to react to the images with a like or a dislike. Through these interactions, we draw unreasonable comparisons between ourselves and complete strangers. So, do yourself a favor and take half an hour to sit down and edit your social media content. Unfollow those accounts that do not reinforce your body positivity reality. While you are at it, add new accounts that offer information to help you get the body-positive vibes you deserve. For example, do you have curly hair that drives you crazy? I bet other people do too. Do a quick search for “curly hair” and I will bet you can find someone else out there who can relate your hair-do woes and reinvigorate your love for your beautiful locks.
People watch.
TIP: Actively avoid comparing yourself to other people.
That is right, go forth and stare at strangers. Not in a creepy, staring, judgy way. Observe and see the good. Observe and do not compare them to you. We have the power to change the way we see ourselves and other people. Too many times we compare ourselves to others. It’s nonsense. You are not them and you can never, ever be them. You are you. You are unique, beautiful, and wonderful. There’s a fantastic children’s book, Exactly You, The Shape of Your Feelings, that clings to the sentiment that our unique and beautiful feelings make us special. I know this one will be tricky to try at home due to the coronavirus pandemic, but you don’t need a crowd of 100+ people in order to people-watch. Just grab your dog, put down your phone, and watch (like really observe) other dog walkers in your neighborhood. If you can find a chance to do this safely, people watching could be a game-changer for your body image. Take the chance to notice how different people’s body’s look and move. It is fascinating, the variety of bodies out there in the world. It is no wonder it is tough to find a pair of jeans that fit just right. Our bodies are made just for us. There is literally no one like you in the world. How cool is that?! Cherishing this uniqueness is the key to unlocking our potential.
Healthy body image starts with you. As your circle of control shows. You can try the DIY version, or you can invest in your well-being with a life coach. I challenge you to open your self-awareness.
Kelly Hater, Executive Contributor, Brainz Magazine
Kelly Hater, owner of Mama Bear Domain, has over 15 years of coaching experience and a B.S. in Health Promotion specialized in Exercise Science. She specializes in helping clients overcome mom burnout, providing a clear, decisive plan that leads her clients on a path of success. Her clients no longer let mom guilt steal their identity and goals. Moms deserve to be happy and live a fulfilling life. She personally has overcome overwhelming struggles herself. Get the accountability needed to take action. As a mom of two, she gets it.
