Written by David Bingley, Leadership, Mindset & Empowerment Coaching
David Bingley is a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach and a Professional Certified Coach with over 2,000 hours of 1:1 Coaching experience. He is an expert in Leadership, Mindset and Empowerment Coaching, working on the mindful practice of mental and emotional fitness and self-awareness.
I saw a post on LinkedIn. It was not a quote but an observation. “When we’re struggling, we often take it out on the people closest to us without realizing that the reason they’re so close is that they care the most.” It is a true statement in many respects.
I, for one, have fallen foul of this, and I still do occasionally, but now that my recovery is in the moment, I am still working to improve.
As a Leadership, Mindset, and Empowerment Coach, I have had numerous conversations with clients about this point, directly and indirectly.
When we take the time to have a meta-view and explore the polarities of the situation, we generally return to the fact that…
“We have given our power away!”
Meaning we needed to be more authentic and expressive. We may have restricted ourselves through our limiting beliefs around who we are. Who we are at work. Our place in society. Etc.
If we take a work example—a situation in which we felt bulldozed, overwhelmed, intimidated, or blindsided—what we generally do is brood on it, overthink it, and feel the range of emotions that can accompany it, including shame, guilt, frustration, punishment, self-depravation, anger, and so on. Normally, it is more than a single emotion, and we repeat that over and over in our minds.
When we get home, we feel safer and more in control and can let off steam on an innocent person we love because we know that we are equal in that space.
The issue here is balance or lack thereof—also self-worth and self-empowerment or abdication thereof.
Imagine having the courage to bring balance, equity, and equality into your work life. Imagine being authentic and expressive and empowering yourself to say no or yes more slowly, speak your mind, or resist the outcome.
Because if you did that at work, you would not over react at home.
Why?
Because you have expressed yourself at work, and to do that, you need to empower yourself. Stand in your Power. Own and accept it. Lean into your fears, limiting perspectives, and beliefs, and take action.
That means accepting who you truly are.
The real issue is that you surrender your power at work and are taking it out on someone who loves you at home.
Sad but true.
You can say no at work and express your point of view. You need to learn how to do that. To do that, you need to have an Intention. Then, align it with your Actions and Behavior.
It is a process and will not happen overnight.
Lean into it. It gets easier with practice.
In-Vision It!
Take small steps to live large!
David Bingley, Leadership, Mindset & Empowerment Coaching
David Bingley is Certified Professional Co-Active Coach and a Professional Certified Coach with over 2,000 hours of 1:1 Coaching experience. He is an expert in Leadership, Mindset and Empowerment Coaching, working on the mindful practice of mental and emotional fitness and self-awareness. By exploring perspectives to define purpose and direction (our vision, mission and ambition for ourself and the world) to how we frame ourself and embrace our values so our intentions and actions are aligned. David founded In-Vision Coaching as a platform to assist people to empower themselves, take control of their life using the strategies, frameworks and structures he developed to fine tune for peak performance. You may work with David in 1:1 coaching, team coaching or specialist workshops, taking small steps to… Live Large!
Comments