Cindy Benning is passionate about elevating the quality of leadership in our world. She founded Dragonfly Insights, a company dedicated to empowering leaders through coaching and teaching five BRAVE® virtues designed to propel organizations into excellence.
Emotional intelligence (EI) is not a static trait but evolves over time, shaped by the unique social, economic, and technological experiences of each generation. From the Silent Generation’s stoic resilience to Gen Z’s tech-savvy emotional awareness, the emotional landscape of each cohort reflects their upbringing and the challenges they faced. Understanding these differences provides valuable insights into how various generations manage emotions in the workplace and beyond and how leaders can leverage these insights to foster stronger, more collaborative teams.
The EQ-i 2.0 model of emotional intelligence divides emotional intelligence into five composite areas: Self-Perception, Self-Expression, Interpersonal, Decision-Making, and Stress Management. Each of these composites includes specific emotional intelligence skills, such as emotional self-awareness, emotional expression, empathy, and impulse control. Applying this model to different generations can highlight areas where certain emotional intelligence traits may be less developed or more pronounced based on generational experiences and social influences.
It's essential to recognize that these generational differences aren't rigid rules but are insights derived from studies, surveys, and observations. Individual experiences shape emotional intelligence, leading many people to exhibit traits that span across generations, depending on their unique backgrounds and life events.
Silent generation (1928-1945): Reserved and stoic
The Silent Generation, now aged 79-96, are typically the parents of Baby Boomers. For this cohort, emotional expression was often perceived as a sign of weakness, leading them to prioritize resilience and emotional control in navigating challenges like the Great Depression and World War II. According to the EQ-i 2.0 model, they tend to exhibit strong Stress Management and Decision-Making skills due to their reliance on resilience. However, their emphasis on stoicism and self-control may result in lower levels of Self-Expression and Interpersonal traits, such as empathy and open communication. This generation’s reserved nature can sometimes lead to gaps in emotional awareness, making personal communication and respect for their seniority crucial in effectively engaging with them.
Baby boomers (1946-1964): Resilient and pragmatic
Baby Boomers, now aged 60-78, typically excel in Self-Perception (e.g., self-regard and emotional self-awareness) and Decision-Making (e.g., problem-solving), but may have lower scores in Interpersonal skills like empathy and building relationships. Shaped by post-war economic growth and societal changes, Boomers developed a pragmatic emotional intelligence focused on adaptability, self-reliance, and practical solutions. Their upbringing in structured, hierarchical workplaces often led them to prioritize action and achievement over emotional connection, which can sometimes hinder collaboration. They value hard work, prefer face-to-face communication, and appreciate recognition for their loyalty and experience. This generation’s resilience and problem-solving abilities stem from navigating economic prosperity alongside social upheaval, fostering traits suited to overcoming challenges. However, their reliance on traditional structures may create difficulties in engaging with younger generations in more fluid, tech-driven environments. Leaders engaging with Boomers should emphasize trust, respect, and opportunities for mentorship.
Generation X (1965-1980): Self-reliant and adaptable
Generation X), often called the "latchkey generation," is known for its independence, adaptability, and practical approach to challenges. Now aged 44-59, this generation grew up in an era of economic shifts, political scandals, and the rise of technology. Gen X developed strong Self-Perception and Decision-Making skills, excelling in areas like reality testing and problem-solving. Their resourcefulness and early exposure to technological advancements enabled them to be quick adopters, making them adaptable and innovative in the workplace.
This generation values work-life balance and autonomy, shaped by their upbringing, where many experienced increased independence and responsibility from a young age. As a result, Gen Xers often prioritize personal time and flexibility over rigid structures, preferring environments that offer transparency and emotional authenticity. Despite their self-reliance, they are generally more open to discussing work-life balance and mental health compared to previous generations.
Skeptical of authority due to significant political and corporate scandals in their formative years, Gen X leans toward questioning traditional structures and seeking autonomy in their roles. While they may show lower levels of Interpersonal traits, such as empathy and social responsibility, their emphasis on independence and pragmatism fosters resilience and effective problem-solving.
Emotionally intelligent leaders can engage Gen X effectively by recognizing their need for autonomy, supporting their work-life balance, and providing continuous learning opportunities that align with their values of flexibility and self-sufficiency. This approach not only respects their independent nature but also nurtures their ability to contribute meaningfully within collaborative environments.
Millennials (Gen Y, 1981-1996): Adaptable and emotionally expressive
Now aged 28 to 43, Millennials came of age during the rise of the internet and social media, making them highly adaptable and emotionally expressive. Their focus on collaboration, inclusivity, and purpose-driven work has honed their Interpersonal skills, especially in areas like empathy and social responsibility. Millennials are strong advocates for mental health, open communication, and inclusive workplaces, reflecting their desire to contribute to meaningful change.
However, this generation tends to struggle with Self-Management, particularly with impulse control and stress tolerance. This challenge is partly linked to their shorter professional experience and reliance on external validation through social media, which can impact their emotional regulation. Despite these difficulties, Millennials' adaptability and expressiveness enable them to navigate stress and change effectively when given the right support.
Leaders can engage Millennials by creating an environment that prioritizes collaboration, social responsibility, and open communication. They thrive in settings where their contributions to meaningful causes are recognized, making purpose-driven work and clear paths for growth essential for their engagement and fulfillment.
Generation Z (1997-2012): Inclusive and digitally attuned
The Gen Z age group, currently between 14 and 27, includes many just beginning to enter the workforce. As digital natives, Gen Z has been shaped by technology from birth, giving them an intuitive grasp of digital platforms and trends. This tech fluency, combined with their strong focus on social justice and inclusivity, has cultivated high levels of Interpersonal skills like empathy and social responsibility. They are quick to advocate for equity and inclusivity, both in their communities and workplaces.
However, their deep connection with the digital world and heightened awareness of global issues like climate change contribute to significant challenges with Self-Management. Gen Z is more prone to anxiety and struggles with areas like impulse control and stress management due to digital overload and the constant influx of information. The COVID-19 pandemic amplified these difficulties by disrupting their sense of community and reducing emotional expression and stress tolerance.
To support Gen Z effectively, leaders should capitalize on their technological strengths while providing clear growth opportunities and fostering a genuinely inclusive culture. Addressing their concerns about mental health, diversity, and meaningful connection will not only help them feel more engaged but will also harness their potential for driving positive change in the workplace.
Conclusion
Understanding generational differences in emotional intelligence allows leaders to create more inclusive and supportive environments. By recognizing each generation’s strengths and addressing their unique challenges, leaders can bridge the emotional intelligence gap, enhancing collaboration and building a more cohesive workforce. This approach not only respects the past but also embraces the future, leveraging emotional intelligence to drive positive change.
Cindy Benning, Leadership Development Consultant
Cindy Benning has a unique ability to turn chaos into calm. Her extensive career, characterized by continuous education, leadership, and coaching, has equipped her with robust strategies to navigate myriad challenges professionally and personally. Her 2022 publication, "Being BRAVE®, A Journey of Self-Discovery into Leadership," tells the story of how she came to develop insights into managing the stories we tell ourselves to reveal our true selves. Only then can we learn to lead and live with joy and authenticity.
