Sogol Johnson, MA, ICF Candidate, is an award-winning experience designer who left her Fortune 500 career to break the generational cycle of trauma. Founder of The Self Parent, she is an educator, writer, and coach empowering parents through self-parenting and healing journeys to create a healthier next generation.
"No, it's not." Three tiny words, spoken in a small voice from a small body, manage to trigger the 44-year-old me more often than I’d like to admit. Generational trauma isn’t just a buzzword anymore; it's a conversation happening everywhere, from therapy offices to parenting podcasts to group chats. In 2025, more and more parents in the U.S. and Canada are waking up to the realization that the anxiety, emotional reactivity, or shutdowns they experience aren’t just personality quirks; they’re patterns. And they’re often inherited.
The good news? These patterns aren’t permanent. In fact, this year, we’re seeing a major shift toward healing, thanks in part to growing awareness of polyvagal theory, attachment styles, and a surge in somatic and trauma-informed therapies.
The science of "Why am I like this?"
Polyvagal theory has gone from niche neuroscience to one of the most talked-about tools in trauma healing, and for good reason. When we’re triggered, the body isn’t just reacting emotionally; it’s responding neurologically. Triggers can activate the limbic system, especially the amygdala, which stores emotional memories and scans for threats based on past experiences. The brain isn’t great at telling the difference between actual danger and a memory that feels just as threatening. So when a toddler yells, “No, it’s not!” in just the right tone, it can light up the nervous system, triggering that same threat alarm the brain once used for survival.
This is where polyvagal theory becomes particularly relevant. It explains how our autonomic nervous system regulates our responses to stress via three key pathways: the ventral vagal state (associated with safety and connection), the sympathetic branch (mobilization through fight or flight), and the dorsal vagal state (immobilization through freeze or shutdown). When a stressor arises, especially one that echoes unresolved trauma, the nervous system can become dysregulated. If the original stress response was never fully processed, a concept supported by somatic research, this incomplete cycle remains imprinted in the body, particularly within the limbic system, where emotional memory and threat detection live. As a result, the system may default to survival states even in everyday parenting situations. Recognizing this helps parents understand that these reactions are not character flaws but neurobiological responses. And those responses can be gently reshaped through awareness and regulation.
Somatic therapy & the new healing wave
Somatic therapy is becoming a cornerstone of trauma-informed healing. Rather than just analyzing thoughts, it helps parents understand how trauma lives in the body and how to release it. Parents are learning to track physical cues, like a tight chest or shaky hands, and use body-based practices to find calm and re-regulate.
Here are some lesser-known, research-informed somatic exercises parents are using:
Vocal toning with extended exhalation (e.g., deep sighs with voiced sound like “Vooo” or “Ommm”) to stimulate the vagus nerve and activate the parasympathetic system
Orienting exercises: slowly scanning the room and naming objects or colors to bring the nervous system into the present and out of survival mode
Psoas release work: lying on the back with knees bent (constructive rest position) and gently rocking side to side to soften chronic tension held in the hip flexors
Tactile boundary resets: wrapping yourself in a heavy blanket or using gentle self-touch, like hand-to-heart, to reestablish a sense of containment
Pendulation: intentionally moving attention between a place of tension and a place of ease in the body to build nervous system flexibility
The shift is less about being a “perfect parent” and more about becoming a regulated one. It’s about noticing your trigger, pausing, and choosing differently, again and again. That moment of choice is where the cycle begins to break. By showing up with regulation and repair, parents aren't just managing daily stress; they're actively shaping a more secure attachment for their children. This is how we stop passing down our pain and start raising emotionally resilient, securely attached kids.
Tools parents are actually using
What’s working for parents in 2025?
Co-regulation practices: building shared calm with your child through synchronized breathing, rhythmic games, or mutual eye contact
Polyvagal-informed micro-resets: gargling, gentle breath-holds, or chewing to stimulate vagal tone throughout the day
Body-to-brain anchors: pressing feet into the ground and naming five textures you can feel to bring your awareness out of a trigger and into the present
Somatic tracking: following the sensation of a trigger in your body (e.g., tightness in the throat) with curiosity rather than judgment
Structured repair rituals: creating a simple post-conflict flow (acknowledge, validate, reconnect) to rewire emotional safety after rupture
A word of caution (and encouragement)
As popular as these frameworks are, they’re not magic fixes. Polyvagal theory, while helpful, is still evolving. Attachment styles aren’t permanent labels. And not every parent has access to therapy. But healing doesn’t need to be one more daunting thing on an already full plate. The real magic lies in the lowest-hanging fruit: small, habitual shifts, nervous system awareness, and gentle self-parenting.
Trauma may run in families, but so does healing. Each pause, breath, repair, and moment of mindful presence is a quiet act of cycle-breaking. And if you're ready to take the next step, join other Cycle Breakers by becoming a member here.
Relearning safety, rebuilding connection, and raising emotionally secure kids begins by giving yourself what you may have never received, one small moment at a time.
Sogol Johnson, MA, ICF Candidate Trauma Informed Coach
Sogol Johnson, an award-winning designer with a master’s in Human-Centered Design, left her Fortune 500 career as a strategist to focus on breaking the cycle of generational trauma. Now an educator, writer, and advocate for healing childhood trauma, she combines her expertise in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Somatic Therapy and Trauma- Informed coaching to empower parents and communities through self-parenting and healing practices.
