In a world where we often hear that "we have it better now" and "we're so lucky," the reality is that more people struggle with mental health than ever before. Maren, psychologist and mindfulness coach, sees these issues manifest in women’s daily lives in her online therapy clinic, TherapyWithMaren.
In this interview, she discusses how the pressure to "do it all" impacts women’s mental well-being and shares ways to escape this mindset.
Maren Kristensen, Psychologist and Mindfulness Coach
The misconception of 'doing it all.
Society teaches us that success means juggling multiple roles and being busy. “In therapy, I often challenge the belief that your worth is tied to how much you do or earn,” Maren explains.
This mindset, especially prevalent among women, creates a cycle of self-doubt and exhaustion. The pressure to excel at work, maintain a perfect home, and nurture relationships can feel overwhelming, like a race without a finish line.
“The chase for achievement begins early in life,” she notes. “As we grow, we’re often evaluated based on our progress rather than our experiences. This leads to adults who struggle to find joy in everyday life and instead feel like they're not good enough.”
The hidden struggles behind a polished exterior.
Maren’s passion for this topic shines through as she highlights that those who seem to have it all together often face hidden struggles. This relentless pursuit of achievement can lead to anxiety and burnout. “I know this firsthand,” she shares. “Many women sit across from me, feeling pressured to present a strong facade while struggling with feelings of inadequacy.”
Despite achieving milestones like marriage, children, and a home, many women find themselves questioning their choices and feeling guilty for not experiencing the happiness they expected, and wondering where they went wrong.
How the 'doing it all' mindset affects mental health.
As women fill their calendars and take on more responsibilities, they often reach their limits. This can trigger a cycle of self-doubt and fear of not being enough.
Maren emphasizes the need for women to redefine success. It shouldn't be about how much they can accomplish but about how authentically they can live and find joy in everyday moments.
“I can’t change societal influences or upbringing,” she acknowledges, “but I can help one woman at a time to create a ripple effect toward a better world.”
Focus on the journey, not just the destination.
Maren encourages her clients to engage with life more mindfully. The problem with striving to "do it all" is that it leads people to rush through life without pausing to appreciate the moment. This
approach fuels stress and anxiety.
Instead, she suggests placing self-worth at the center of interactions. By letting go of harsh self-judgments, women can reconnect with their values and needs. “It might sound cliché, but the present moment deserves our focus,” Maren says. “When we stop dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, we can truly enjoy our lives.”
Four steps to shift away from 'doing it all'
If you're ready to change how you engage with your life, here are Maren's four steps:
Let go of guilt: Women often feel guilty not having done something truly bad or wrong but rather because they didn’t meet their own high expectations. To feel well, caring for yourself is, at times, more important than sacrificing to be there for others.
So, stop wondering if you are selfish and start celebrating caring for yourself.
Check your motivations: When stress mounts, ask yourself, “What’s driving my actions?” Identifying whether you're acting from fear or genuine desire can help you align with your true self.
Prioritize yourself: It's easy to feel underappreciated when you focus solely on others. Make time for yourself and do things that bring you joy to prevent feelings of resentment and an overfocus on the external that brings you to burnout.
Stop comparing: The comparison game is so harmful to mental health. Focus on your own journey instead of measuring yourself against others. Setting your own standards is how you set yourself free and live a life of joy.
Creating a safe space for growth.
Maren’s dedication to supporting women's mental health is evident as she discusses her therapy program, Flourish.
This program emphasizes creating a safe environment where women can leave societal pressures behind and explore their true selves.
“I help women uncover connections they may overlook in their busy lives,” she explains. This process involves reflecting on past experiences, current realities, and future aspirations, fostering autonomy and resilience.
Maren's holistic approach underscores the importance of viewing life as an interconnected whole. “Conflict within ourselves isn't the enemy; it signals a need for growth,” she adds. By embracing challenges, we can uncover our authentic desires and live intentionally.
Maren envisions a future where women prioritize their well-being and embrace their challenges.
“Together, we can create a world where mental health is as vital as physical health, empowering every woman to flourish.”
Curious for more? Learn more about Maren and her services here.
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