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Who and what should we believe? On one side, there's a carefully worded story. Filled with salacious details and tidbits that subconsciously subvert the reader to associate the current hatred against the wealthy, what does it matter that a city where these people lived has 60 helipads "for billionaires"? (That's assuming all of those helipads are solely for the use of the ultra-wealthy.) and a group of women hoping that cancel culture will do now, years later, the things they were unable and unwilling to do for themselves at the time.
On the other side, there's an equally carefully worded statement that we humans are always growing and learning and that they also are doing the best they were capable of. Expressed with an apology for being too self-absorbed at times and sadness that what seemed to be positive, happy relationships are now being renounced, the author seems reserved and respectful, more than coldly calculating.
On the world's side, countless posts by shocked individuals, bemoaning how a cultural icon's potential misdeeds have tainted the body of work that we all love.
Who do you believe?
And does it even matter what we believe about other people's stories?
Personally, I believe that we all are always doing the best that we each believe we are capable of, given our map or model of the world.
Also, I deeply understand the old adage that "hurt people hurt people."
I'm speaking of Neil Gaiman and the allegations of sexual misconduct recently published in New York Vulture here. (TW: BDSM, CA.)
Neil's response is on his blog here.
It appears that everyone involved in this story has experienced abuse in childhood, including Neil Gaiman, Amanda Palmer, and the women who were involved with the couple over many years, set years ago.
It is well known that those who have been traumatized in childhood develop all sorts of mistaken beliefs, both about themselves as well as about the actions of others and their own actions.
It's also known that child-abused people often find themselves in abusive adult relationships. In my opinion, this is due to their unconscious association of such behaviors with what is supposed to be "love."
Our society is riddled with both generational and collective trauma. That, coupled with a lack of formal education on sexuality and consent, lends itself nicely to many forms of miscommunication, which can later be perceived as abusive.
In my own life, I was unconsciously traumatized by my parents' acrimonious divorce and bitter custody fights.
This childhood experience led to me developing a conflict pattern, which I experienced as perceiving my (formerly child-abused) partner as invalidating my feelings and concerns.
On the other hand, his perception of events was that he was trying to show that he was a good guy and practically begging me not to hurt him.
We had absolutely horrible fights. Ultimately, neither of us was objectively wrong. We just had perfectly matched trauma responses.
At the time, I wasn't even aware that my reactions were trauma responses. In fact, I thought that our fights were perfectly normal!
Whether you've personally experienced trauma or not, it's important to recognize that we each see everything through our own lenses of perception, shaped by our life experiences.
It's quite rare to be able to see outside these boxes we're conditioned by and to.
In fact, as far as I know, there is no such thing as the perfect person who has never made any mistakes in their entire life.
It's also true that we can, seemingly willingly and happily, go along with things that we aren't comfortable with for all sorts of reasons.
Too often, we operate primarily based on our fears, whether we are consciously aware of those fears or not.
It's also true that we can regret the actions of our past selves when we have grown beyond the limited shell of our old perceptions.
What I disagree with is punishing our past selves or our past partners as an outgrowth of our own healing.
Certainly, the urge to punish others for our own mistaken beliefs is there. We hate seeing ourselves as helpless, fearful, or lesser than.
Which is easier; to take full responsibility, even when we make mistakes based on faulty knowledge or thinking, or to blame those who willingly collaborated in creating the situations we now realize were "fucked up"?
Sadly, there is a dearth of knowledge still prevalent in society, and also a whole lot of misinformation about our own inner workings.
Even the hallowed halls of academia and medicine are operating on faulty assumptions.
We assume that trauma is irreversible and that mental disorders are permanent, and yet we also are quick to label the behaviors spawned by these conditions as consciously evil or abhorrent.
Do you see the inherent hypocrisy in these competing beliefs?
In my entire life, from tens of thousands of people I've personally interacted with, I've only met three whom I considered deliberately malicious.
I myself have been in my fair share of "toxic" relationships. In fact, I've taken accountability for the ways in which I, at the time, unconsciously contributed to their toxicity.
True healing is when you are able to see both, or all, sides of a situation and fully reconcile what has happened in your past without stepping into blame or victimhood. In fact, doing so leads to increasing personal power.
Taking full responsibility for our past, present, and future is not easy, but the rewards for doing so are infinite.
I've come to see how we all contribute to the co-creation of our experiences in the world we inhabit.
To think otherwise to assume the us vs them mentality of perpetrator and victim is to willingly give up your own agency, and submit to the dominant subconscious social narrative. This narrative is predominantly based on religions that tell us we are powerless and must be "saved" by a force greater than ourselves.
Certainly, we would like all our leaders and influences to be perfectly positive and uplifting.
Yet the reality is that everyone has their own unique set of circumstances that have shaped their beliefs and thus shaped their lives.
We must accept their humanness as we accept our own.
We all grow and develop in our own time-frame.
Personally, I prefer to believe that we each have an inherent power to choose, at all times, that which we experience.
I practice this in my own life and help others do the same.
I have been in (by some standards) totally outrageous situations and have been perfectly safe.
I am the type of person who would walk between gunslingers, interrupt a duel, and say, "Hey guys, put the weapons down, and let's talk through this." All while knowing that I am always safe.
When we operate from a position of assumed responsibility in our lives, the world opens up, and our power and potential are truly awe-inspiring.
Yet, to achieve our full potential, we need to resolve and release our own past traumas, recognizing the roles we ourselves played in creating our circumstances.
This is not to say that we consciously chose any pain or suffering we've endured, but rather that we were and are (often unwittingly) participants in the co-creation of our shared experiences.
If you're ready and willing to step out of the pain of victimhood and into the joy of accessing your true power and potential, let's talk.
When you have achieved your own healing, you'll understand others better, be able to easily shake off any unwanted stressors, and have greater empathy, both for yourself and the world.
I can get you there, and it's a lot easier than you'd think!
In the space of a single month, I can guide you through healing your past traumas so you can grow beyond your current limits.
You'll develop Emotional Mastery so that you can feel good on demand!
You'll learn how to be the director of your own brain so you can choose how and what you think about, moment to moment.
And you'll discover the underlying secrets of self-mastery, so you will always be in a position of power and authenticity in your own life.
Full program details are here.
I know you'll succeed in this endeavor because I have helped countless others ignite their personal freedom and divine creative authority.
In fact, I guarantee it!
What have you got to lose, aside from the pain you've unwittingly endured in life?
PS: Not sure this is for you? Get a free sample of my training style and activate your powerful belief shifts with my latest Masterclass: 'Rewiring Your Belief Systems for Better, Faster Conscious Manifestation.'
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Goddess Nadine, Spiritual Mentor for Conscious Manifestation
Goddess Nadine is a recognized genius, a determined rebel, an experimental metaphysicist, a polymath synergist, and a positivity hedonist. Her passion for human potential led her to study both science and magic, bridging the two seemingly disparate disciplines with experimentation in her own life, and leading to her development of bespoke training programs in self-mastery for conscious manifestation. She loves helping others awaken their own inner divinity, utilizing neuroscience applied to the wisdom of the ancients. Her mission: ultimate personal freedom for everyone on the planet. It’s time to Level Up Your Life!
