Written by Dotrell McNeal, Confidence Coach
Dotrell McNeal is a leader in all things self development . A certified life/success coach & mentor Dotrell created courses, eBooks, journals, private 1:1 coaching and mentorship.
In our journey through life, seeking external validation and approval from others has become a common trait deeply ingrained within us. Whether it's seeking validation from peers, colleagues, or even strangers on social media, the constant need for approval can significantly impact our sense of self-worth and confidence. However, breaking free from this approval-seeking cycle is crucial for cultivating inner self-confidence and empowerment.
The pitfalls of seeking external validation
Seeking external validation can often lead to a host of negative consequences, ultimately hindering our inner self-confidence:
Dependency on others' opinions: Relying on others' opinions for validation can create a perpetual cycle of seeking approval, making us susceptible to the whims and judgments of others.
Diminished self-worth: Constantly seeking validation from external sources can erode our self-esteem and confidence, as our worth becomes contingent upon others' approval rather than our own intrinsic value.
Fear of rejection: The fear of rejection or disapproval can paralyze us from taking risks or pursuing our passions, as we prioritize avoiding criticism over personal growth and fulfillment.
Inauthenticity: Seeking approval can lead to a tendency to conform to others' expectations or societal norms, sacrificing our authenticity and individuality in the process.
Key takeaways to let go of approval-seeking
To break free from the approval tag and cultivate inner self-confidence, consider these key takeaways:
Practice self-acceptance: Embrace your unique qualities, strengths, and imperfections without seeking validation from external sources. Recognize that your worth is inherent and independent of others' opinions.
Set boundaries: Establish boundaries to protect your sense of self-worth and autonomy. Learn to discern constructive feedback from unwarranted criticism, and don't internalize negative judgments from others.
Focus on personal growth: Shift your focus from seeking external validation to pursuing personal growth and self-improvement. Set meaningful goals, challenge yourself to step out of your comfort zone, and celebrate your achievements along the way.
Cultivate inner trust: Develop a deeper sense of self-trust by listening to your intuition and inner wisdom. Instead of seeking validation externally, learn to trust your judgment and make decisions aligned with your values and aspirations.
Finding approval within
Looking within yourself for approval and validation can be a transformative journey towards building inner self-confidence:
Self-reflection: Take time for introspection and self-reflection to understand your values, passions, and aspirations. Validate your own experiences and emotions, and trust yourself to navigate life's challenges with resilience and authenticity.
Self-love: Practice self-love and compassion towards yourself, embracing both your strengths and vulnerabilities. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, recognizing that you are deserving of love and acceptance just as you are.
Authentic connections: Cultivate meaningful connections with others based on authenticity and mutual respect. Surround yourself with individuals who uplift and support you, rather than seeking validation from those who undermine your self-worth.
Balancing external input
While seeking approval from others is natural to some extent, it's essential to strike a balance and not rely solely on external validation for making decisions:
Seeking input: It's okay to seek input and feedback from others, especially when making important decisions. However, remember that ultimately, the final decision rests with you, and it's essential to trust your judgment and intuition.
Filtering feedback: Be discerning about the feedback you receive and consider its relevance and validity. Don't let others' opinions dictate your choices, but rather use them as valuable perspectives to inform your decisions.
Trusting yourself: Trust your instincts and inner wisdom when making decisions, even in the face of conflicting opinions or criticism. Ultimately, you are the best judge of what aligns with your values, goals, and aspirations.
Breaking free from the approval tag is a liberating journey that allows us to reclaim our sense of self-worth, confidence, and authenticity. By cultivating inner self-validation and trusting our innate wisdom, we can navigate life's ups and downs with resilience, empowerment, and unwavering self-assurance.
Dotrell McNeal, Confidence Coach
Dotrell McNeal is a leader in all things self development . A certified life/success coach & mentor created courses, eBooks, journals, private 1:1 coaching and mentorship. Dotrell is the founder and CEO of Your Confidence Matters which helps women and entrepreneurs unleash their inner potential while gaining Clarity ,Confidence and Courage. Dotrell is dedicated to helping others build up self-confidence and release limiting beliefs. Her mission: Your Confidence Matters and Insecure Must Go.
