Samantha Bachota is a Narcissistic Abuse survivor with over a decade of experience with narcissists and their manipulative, toxic ways. She knows how life-changing and traumatic this kind of abuse is and wants others to know they are not alone, she gets it, and you can heal and thrive after abuse. Trauma informed coaching is the key to making a positive impact on those she serves.
Samantha Bachota, Certified ICF and CPD Accredited Somatic Trauma Informed Coach
Introduce yourself! Please tell us about you and your life, so we can get to know you better.
My name is Samantha Bachota, but you can call me Sami. I am the owner of Informed Healing LLC, a CPD-accredited Narcissistic Abuse Specialist, ICF and CPD-accredited Somatic Trauma-Informed Coach, and I received my certification from The School of Trauma-Informed Positive Psychology. As a CPD-accredited EFT/TFT Master Practitioner and a Certified Somatic Mind-Body Healing Practitioner, I offer many healing modalities because healing is never the same for any two people.
I am blessed to be the momma of two kind-hearted, adventure-seeking boys, ages 9 and 6. I thoroughly enjoy staying active with my boys and going on adventures. If we are not outside playing pickleball, finding new critters, biking, or taking nature walks, we are cooling off in the chilly springs, kayaking, paddleboarding, or enjoying a beach day. I also continue to deepen my healing and knowledge to serve my clients better and be the best version of myself for everyone around me.
What challenges do you commonly help your clients overcome?
With narcissistic abuse survivors, many clients fear that they will never open up and trust again. This person has ruined “love” for them and was treated like this because of who they are, meaning they aren’t good enough and worthy of being treated well. My approach does not focus on being able to trust other people because that gives away their power. Trust is earned. We can’t control anyone but ourselves.
Do we have power over us, or are we giving it away?
It’s not about trusting others but about learning to trust ourselves again. No matter how good of a love bomber that narcissistic person was, at some point early on, something felt off. It might not have been anything significant because everything was perfect, but there was something. Instead of listening to that, it was pushed down. They either talked themselves out of it, convinced themselves it was something it wasn’t, or just let it go. Their body knew.
Learning to trust yourself means honoring and understanding those feelings and being able to stand your ground or walk away. After all, we cannot control or change other people’s behavior, nor do we need to waste energy trying. We control how we respond to their behavior in a way that honors our morals and values because we now have the self-respect to do so confidently. Things will always happen, but overcoming self-doubt and having self trust is knowing this and knowing they will be able to handle it.
What inspired me to do what I do?
I could write a novel, but here is the shortest version. I am a survivor of childhood trauma and narcissistic abuse. I spent years seeing therapists, counselors, and psychiatrists, reading all the books, and thought I had healed. I felt educated enough on narcissists to naively believe I would not fall into that manipulative trap again, only to do so with someone I later learned had sadistic narcissistic tendencies.
A couple of years ago, I started sharing random posts, and that is when people began asking me for help. So many people could relate and felt validated for the first time. That is when I knew this was what I wanted to do. I do not ever want anyone to experience this kind of hidden abuse. If I could help them in any way, I knew it was my calling.
On top of that, I had been secondarily abused by a therapist in the past. Narcissistic abuse is not required education for all mental health providers, and even if they claim to understand it, only those who have experienced it can fully comprehend it. I was determined to help but knew I needed direction to avoid causing anyone additional harm as I had experienced. That is when I decided to go back to school.
How does my coaching approach stand out in helping clients achieve transformation?
Even though I am a Narcissistic Abuse Specialist, my focus is on my client. Yes, I am here to validate them and ensure they feel safe and heard while educating them on narcissistic behaviors, if applicable. However, you could know everything there is to know about red flags and narcissistic traits and still fall into their web of deception.
That is where the Informed Healing Method comes in. My method has a different approach: healing from the body up. Abuse of any kind is never the victim’s fault, but why does one person end up in a narcissistic abusive relationship while another does not? It is different for everyone.
Using a somatic approach, I help clients reconnect to their bodies after dissociation and learn to trust themselves again. I teach clients about the nervous system, its importance, and how to map their own nervous systems. They learn to identify emotions and body sensations associated with those emotions, recognize triggers, address core wounds, and explore different parts of themselves within the internal family system.
I empower clients to discover or rediscover their authentic selves, enabling them to move forward confidently into healthy relationships. They learn to implement boundaries to protect themselves without shame or judgment. Trauma occurs in dysfunctional relationships, but healing happens in safe ones. For many of my clients, our relationship is the first safe relationship they have experienced in a long time or ever.
Read more from Samantha Bachota
