Written by: Marie Demres, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Entering the world of: “Can You Imagine” and “What If”
Imagine traveling through the mountains, valleys, and rivers of your country to survey the landscape, making sure that the air is clean, the trees and other plants are growing, animals and humans are thriving, and that the waters are flowing with clean and abundant water.
Would that be a job you’d like to do? It seems challenging and filled with adventure and activity. You would need an elaborate command center and a reporting system. Perhaps, you would need a network of teams available continually to bring the eco-systems into “healthy mode.” Job security would be excellent since, once you finished your tour, you’d need to start it all over again.
Now, imagine that all systems in this country’s environment are flowing and growing as needed to sustain each other, except one. In one area there is a gnarled mess of growth at the estuary of a river, as it enters the ocean, your heart stops, your anxiety goes up, and you can picture the help that is needed to get that cleaned up and flowing well. On the other hand, you know that you’ve received messages from this territory, that have warned you to leave their problems alone. If you interfere, they have even threatened your life. Fear fills your heart and your body reeks of pain. It doesn’t make sense. You can’t control it, so you decide to covertly try to help this area out without the “powers that be” finding out. Your intentions are honorable. You ask the residents to chip in and help to improve the problem and you covertly send resources for them to use. They do their best, but the problem persists and progressively gets worst over the years.
As years go by, you come to that same area, repeatedly. The area floods. The ecosystem has changed, and the once-rich soil is now depleted. The fish are dwindling. Other members of the society have moved into the hills of the region and opened factories to help the region repopulate, but without fixing the original problem, things get worst since the factories spill toxins into the soil and water. And the story goes on from year to year. This once beautiful area sags and hobbles on. The traumatic event that started long ago, lives on deep beneath the surface.
Your once fun and challenging job has now been overshadowed by this massive fault. Instead of feeling proud of what you do, you hang your head, you’re unable to sleep, your neck and shoulders are in constant pain, and you look like you have the weight of the world on your back.
Your happy, carefree nature has turned into one of aggression and fear. You simply want this job to end. But you can’t. You have generated so many positive outcomes and so, your job is secure. You will be doing this forever! Each time you make your rotation, you speed through the other parts of the country, and when you come to this area of gnarled, polluted isolation, you stop and cry. This depression and anguish reflect on the rest of your travels, increasingly with each rotation.
Does this sound like something you’ve heard about? I see you nodding your head.
Well, now internalize this entire process. Your “job” is your brain’s job. It scans your entire system, mind, body, and spirit constantly. Keeping you happy and healthy is its priority. Then, a dark force enters your life, a trauma of some kind. (the death of a loved one, sexual or other types of physical abuse, extreme poverty, war, divorce.) This is an incident that you can neither control nor understand.
It is a huge trauma for you. Your brain continues its job of scanning your system, except now, when it gets to that trauma point, it circles and tries to examine, understand and heal it. It is unable to complete that task, even when it delegates other parts of your body, spirit, and mind. A person in this situation may bring in a protective image in her brain and associate it with her back muscles. This is her “shell,” a protective part to keep her safe. Or she may enlist an angry monster who lives inside her hands, who will dish out punishment to those who hurt her in some magical way.
She may develop an imaginary curtain or waterfall between herself and others to protect her feelings and her spirit. These parts have good intentions, but they are not enough. While the trauma is real in her life, she continues to use these coping mechanisms. She is restricted because the origin of the trauma may be unresponsive to her coping attempts and unwilling to change. They only give her temporary respite. She continually tries to enlist these parts to protect her during the trauma. They have particularly important survival roles. Even, if/when, the trauma ends, the mechanisms hold vigil. Since she is used to using these coping skills, she may find more trauma to fill the empty space so that the coping skills will be validated.
Notice all the positive intentions.
At some point in her life, she will feel exhausted. Her body, mind, and spirit are using a lot of energy to help protect her. She will know deep inside that she has a broken part and that it has not healed. In fact, those protective mechanisms may have made it worst. Like the people in the village who moved up to the hills and opened factories to revive the community, eventually spilling toxins. Now, her shell back, neck, and shoulders hurt constantly. She notices arthritis in her hands, even though she may not remember the angry monster that she pretended to use her hands to create. And that waterfall or curtain between herself and others has kept her relationships distant and impersonal. What started out as protection, has turned into physical and emotional pain; a spirit closed to healing. The protective survival parts, still holding vigil, won’t budge or change. They know that they were needed at one time, and they hold their place like soldiers, on watch. They are proud to have served.
What if. Oh, you think, now we’re in the land of “What Ifs.” Yes, let’s entertain that concept for a few minutes. What if we could travel to the subcortex of the person that holds this pain and trauma. If we could reach it with our ocular system, and heal it? (Similar to a miracle in the story of the toxic village when we could go back in time and make repairs). “Well, this isn’t a Christmas story where the Grinch goes back in time and fixes all his mistakes and the village lives happily ever after,” you're thinking. I understand your cynicism. Believe me, I felt the same way. I would not be writing about this if I hadn’t experienced it, watched it, and read about it from professionals in mental health, along with 42 hours of training, several professional consultations, and 55 plus practicum sessions in this method of healing.
Do you know that your brain is a magnificent organ? “Our brains contain about 100 billion neurons, which are connected through 100,000 miles of axons. Within that, there are from 100 trillion up to 1 quadrillion synaptic connections.” (from the book, “Brainspotting” by David Grand) I would say that is quite a miracle, with plenty of “What if” and “Can you imagine?” endless possibilities. Your brain has healing power and “Where you look, affects how your feel.” (David Grand, “Brainspotting”)
Welcome to the world of brainspotting. Here we, Brainspotters, can guide you, by using the eyes, finding your spot, and letting the subcortex heal. Your “monkey brain” (neocortex) that thinks it has all the answers and normally fixes and corrects things is not involved or invited to the party. You're subcortical brain oversees healing and it does an amazing job. The brainspotter is attuned to your process and follows and guides you, like the thread following a needle.
To learn more about brain spotting, pick up David Grand’s book, “Brainspotting.”
If you’d like to experience it, send me a message at coach@mariedemres.com I’d be happy to chat with you about this.
Marie Demres, MA Tapestry of Love, LLC
Nationally Certified Life Coach, ANWCB, specializing in trauma with children and adults
Certified Brainspotter
Special Education Teacher, 30 years
Writer of poems, stories, and a book
Licensed Yoga Teacher YogamOcean, LLC
Visit my website for more info!
Marie Demres, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Marie Demres is a Whole Life Healing Coach, the owner of Tapestry of Love. She has years of experience with special needs children and their parents. As an empathic person, Marie has found coaching rewarding and a place to heal within, and to help others move forward in health from trauma, depression, anxiety, and other life issues. Weaving the concepts and methodology of neuroplasticity, spiritual energy, self-love, yoga, and brainspotting, she has created a safe haven where people move through their life journey with energy and integrity. The creation of each person's unique tapestry is an art of love for her.
