Written by: Melanie Verstraete, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
I realize this statement is pretty triggering for many of you reading this and I say GOOD. It needs to be said.
This toxic cultural narrative needs to transform and alchemize. Before I get deeper into it, let me give you MY definition of a boss babe because some could say “Well aren’t you a boss babe, Melanie?” Nope. I am so many things I cannot put myself in any one box. I do not fit in the box or any mold. I am ever-expanding and multi-faceted. As are you.
Boss babe definition (my perspective): a woman who is successful in her career, she does all the things, maybe she stays late, and goes in early, very much into “taking massive action” in her life. She pushes. She is a doer. She is a multitasking master. She can come off as cold or unfeeling, distant, and guarded. She will never let you know how she is feeling. If she isn't feeling well she will pop a pill or suck it up and push past it. She looks at vulnerability as weak. She has a wall of protection up, her armor and she wears it proudly. She can be many things such as an entrepreneur, CEO, or a high-level executive, runs her own business, is super independent, has a hard time asking for help or receiving help, her job title or all these descriptives doesn’t matter as much as her attitude does, which is...
“I GOT THIS and I DON’T NEED YOU” aka… a man.
She may even emasculate men saying that they are all assholes, liars, or cheaters, or they just want to “get in your pants”… sound familiar?
I used to be her. "I don’t need you, I don’t need a man, I can do all the things myself, haven’t been able to lean on or trust you (any man in her life) anyway so I can do this all by myself.”
Here’s the challenge. This is false masculine energy, this is a fake mask to hide, shield, and protect your heart from the essence of the beautiful feminine being that you are. You weren’t meant to DO IT ALL alone. Wanting an amazing man, a true partner, your soul's counterpart, does not make you weak. Wanting to be able to trust and feel safe and protected and loved for all parts of you does not diminish your power as a woman. It does not dim your light. It allows your femininity, the essence of being a woman…to bloom, to blossom like a beautiful rose even more.
If you can’t find, attract, or keep (fill in the blank) a “good” man maybe it’s because YOU ARE THE MAN.
This is repelling the very thing you yearn for, the very thing your heart longs to trust and open to and feel the love of this man.
We are not meant to do it all by ourselves, ladies. Can we? Absolutely, if we had to, but do you really want to?
Fuck no. It’s exhausting. Your power is not in all the action and doing, although we need that too at times, but to embody what it means to be a feminine being means to BE in your body.
Feel the power of your sensuality (this does not make you a slut or any of that other toxic narrative bullshit), your creativity, your connection to the women around you in sisterhood, and your natural creativity, for God’s sake we create life in our wombs, your flowy nature, your grief, your rage, your abundance, your compassion, your ability to trust and surrender, your fire, your wildness, your primal nature, your feelings (holy shit have we turned this off!), the naturalness of your menstrual cycle, your open and beautiful heart, your vulnerability, your authenticity, your nurturing, your connection to Mother Earth, your connection to Source, God, Goddess, your creative expression through whatever lights you up, dance, play, etc.
Being in your being… the true essence of your femininity… that’s your power, babe!
Melanie Verstraete, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Melanie is a Self-Love & Relationship Coach, devoted to the empowerment & rising of women world-wide. She is a fiery, heart-centered, Divine Feminine Leader, Mentor & mom to 3. Melanie hit a breaking point after numerous toxic relationships and two divorces. This low point was the catalyst that propelled her on an inwards journey to heal herself, reclaim her power & change the trajectory of her life. As she alchemized her pain & trauma into her greatest strengths, like the phoenix she rose from the ashes to build her empire that stands today – The Wild Heart Life. It is Melanie’s mission & greatest devotion to lead, guide & inspire other women to take back power over their lives & return to a state of wholeness.
