Written by: Sharleen Beaumont, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
An essential aspect of emotional intelligence is self-awareness. When we are aware, we observe what we are experiencing, but it does not affect the experience itself. An interchangeable word is conscious. Conscious living is a practice.
"It would be humbling to the mind's vanity to admit that the only thing it's doing is experiencing, and, in fact, only experiencing the experiencing." "Even brilliant thoughts and deepest feelings are only experiences; ultimately, we have but one function to experience." ‒Dr. David Hawkins.
The average person walks around unconsciously 95% of the time. Are you aware that you automatically put the same leg first when getting dressed? How often have you driven to a familiar destination and been on autopilot? What about when you make your coffee? The majority of the time, these daily acts are all done unconsciously.
Additionally, we want to become conscious of the thoughts and stories attached to our thoughts. Then there are our thoughts about our thoughts. The chatter going on in our heads can often feel incessant.
Being conscious of what we do and why we do it is fundamental to self-leadership and growth. Without awareness, we wouldn't recognize a change that needs to occur, leading to repeat behaviours that result in a hustle to nowhere.
Living in awareness, we can learn to understand our emotions and why they rise. We tend to label them as positive or negative, but they are neither. The length of time we spend feeling depends on the story we attach to it. Some examples of emotions we associate with being negative are guilt, shame, and anger.
We then further judge ourselves and feel inferior for having them. Alternately we revel in our joy and excitement, not wanting them to end.
If we take the time to remove the judgement and observe the emotion and what we are feeling, we can investigate what is behind it, where it originated, and what it is trying to tell us.
We can better manage ourselves and our relationships when we understand our emotions. Emotions rise because they want to get our attention. They will pile up over time if we bury or stuff them down. Only to show up stronger when triggered. What we resist will persist! Only when we become honest with ourselves can we create positive, sustainable changes.
Self-awareness is a continual journey of chipping away and pulling back the layers to feel good about ourselves. Layers we have built up over time with fears and social masks. Not being taught to identify and move through emotions has proven detrimental to many. At the same time, we can be grateful for these masks as they served their purpose repeatedly, trying to protect us. When we are brave enough, we begin the journey of clearing out what is below the surface for our best selves to shine!
A powerful true story.
In 1957, a group of monks in Thailand had to relocate a large clay Buddha from their temple to a different location to make room for a new highway to Bangkok. It began to rain, and the head monk decided to cover the sacred Buddha with a large canvas to protect it. Later that evening, he checked on it, shining his torch under the canvas to see if the Buddha was still dry. He noticed a gleam catch the light and wondered whether something might be under the clay. Using a chisel and hammer, the monk started to chip it away. As he knocked off shards of clay, the gleam grew brighter and brighter. Hours later, the monk stood face to face with an extraordinary solid-gold Buddha measuring 10 feet tall and weighing over 2.5 tonnes.
Many historians believe the Buddha had been covered with clay by the Thai monks several hundred years before the Burmese army attacked. They covered the Buddha to keep it from being stolen. The problem was during the attack, all the monks were killed! It wasn't until 1957 that they discovered the great treasure when the monks moved the giant statue.
Like the Buddha, we spend many years adding layer upon layer of unconscious protective clay. We believe these layers will keep us from getting hurt. When we feel safe enough, our layers become the road map to our personal growth in which we uncover our gold.
Living in conscious awareness is a practice that can improve our quality of life. Here's how:
Good decision making
There is no question that when we are aware of our emotions, we can better manage our behaviour and habits. Awareness makes us pause and recognize the reason for the feeling. With further self-reflection, we can change the old automatic response that isn't working. We can then create new paths allowing us to make better decisions.
Reduced stress
Emotions that we are aware of and move through reduce stress. Stuffing down emotions keeps us stuck and prolongs them. We can compare buried emotions to holding an inflated ball under the water.
It takes work to hold the ball down, and it keeps wanting to pop up! Instead, try greeting them and asking questions. We bounce back faster when practicing moving through emotions. In addition, when we take positive action, it reduces negative self-talk and stress.
Improved performance
When we move through rather than store emotions, we are conserving energy, which we can utilize to focus on strengths and complete other tasks. Emotional awareness lets you self-manage your mind and energy and increases life's satisfaction. Higher emotional/conscious states result in improved performance.
Confidence
When we make good decisions, address our emotions as they show up, have positive self-talk, and show up in a higher emotional state, our confidence also grows. When we show up for ourselves, we trust ourselves and feel confident.
We don't have to wait for a crisis to hit to live consciously and up-level our lives. Start today with whatever comes up for you! The quality of life comes down to self-awareness and how well we communicate with ourselves.
Sharleen Beaumont, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Sharleen Beaumont is an EQ Master Empowerment Coach and Founder of Brave New Ending.
She helps clients get unstuck from their stories and manage their emotions. Her clients re-imagine their life, connect with their highest self utilizing the foundation of all change; emotions!
After graduating from University, Sharleen's career began in Victim Services. She then became a Certified Mediator, and Mediated for her Community and Courts. Her career moved to Corporate Communications and Consulting, working globally. Next, she stepped into an Entrepreneurial life, helping take a new company to the multi-million dollar level. Deciding to live life on purpose, she received her Master Empowerment Coach certification and started Brave New Ending.
Brave- a strength of character, courageous, faces fear, determined, passionate, on purpose.
New Ending-keeps the end goal in mind to write their next chapter and life story.
