Dr. Nichelle Chandler is a psychotherapist and life coach based in Dallas, Texas. She specializes in working with women, including those with lupus and other autoimmune conditions. She has maintained a private practice for nearly two decades and once managed the clinical department of one of Dallas' most prominent mental health clinics.
For Black men, the barbershop has been more than a place to get a fresh cut. It's been a sanctuary, a space where they can talk freely about life, sports, and everything in between. It's a spot where they can relax and let their guard down momentarily. While a haircut might leave them feeling sharp, authentic self-care goes much deeper than that.
In a world that often expects Black men to carry the weight of their responsibilities in silence, mental, physical, and emotional health is essential for long-term well-being. Nurturing oneself is not only important but also transformative. Let's discuss prioritizing self-care that extends far beyond a lineup.
Black men often keep things inside to be strong. As a psychotherapist, I've witnessed firsthand the transformative power of self-care. In my therapy sessions with Black men, we break down walls and dig deep into what it means for them to take care of themselves. I often remind my clients that self-care is not a weakness or something "extra"; it's necessary, especially in a world that can feel heavy. The journey of self-care is not just about survival but about thriving and becoming the best version of oneself.
Six ways I help Black men prioritize self-care
1. Redefine self-care
One of the first things I help Black men with is redefining self-care. Many of them come into therapy believing self-care is only about going to the gym or looking good. While those things matter, I challenge them to see that self-care goes beyond the physical. It's also about caring for your mental, emotional, and spiritual health. For example, I introduce practices like journaling and meditation to help them process their emotions, something many have never done before. I ask them to take 10 minutes out of their day to sit with their thoughts and feelings, not to judge themselves, but to reflect.
2. Building emotional resilience
Another strategy I use is helping Black men build emotional resilience. Many of them have learned to suppress their emotions to protect themselves from being seen as vulnerable. In therapy, I encourage them to name and express their feelings. I emphasize that true strength comes from understanding and managing their emotions, not burying them. For some, this means learning to have honest conversations with friends or family or finding creative outlets like music or art to channel their feelings.
3. Moving the body for mental wellness
I work with Black men to identify physical activities they enjoy and help them integrate movement into their self-care routine. We focus on moving the body, not just for fitness but for mental wellness. Whether shooting hoops, lifting weights or even trying out yoga, the goal is to release stress and boost mood through movement.
4. Foster community
Fostering a sense of community is another major piece of self-care. Just like the barbershop is a space where Black men can talk and connect, I encourage my clients to build their support networks. I remind them that leaning on others doesn't weaken them—it strengthens them. It's about knowing when to ask for help and not carrying everything alone. Building a support network can involve regular check-ins with a trusted friend, joining a men's group, or participating in community events. People they can trust, whether family, friends, or a faith community, are vital.
5. Protect peace
Finally, we work on protecting their peace. For many Black men, life can feel like it's moving at 100 miles per hour, and they're constantly in "go" mode. I encourage my clients to set boundaries at work, in relationships, or with social media. For example, setting specific work hours, establishing personal time for self-care, or limiting exposure to negative influences on social media. We practice saying "no" when needed and making space to rest and recharge. I help them understand that rest isn't a reward for working hard—it's essential for their well-being.
6. Understanding self-care as a journey
In therapy sessions, I remind Black men that self-care is a journey. It's not about perfection but progress. Taking care of themselves allows them to show up fully for the people and the things that matter most in their lives. So, when they leave the barbershop feeling fresh, I encourage them not to let that energy stop there and carry it with them as they invest in their well-being.
Conclusion
Self-care is a continuous process, not a one-time solution. It requires consistent effort and dedication to balance mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Black men often face societal pressures to appear strong and in control, but prioritizing self-care demonstrates strength, not weakness. By investing in their well-being, they can show up more effectively for their families, communities, and personal goals. Self-care is a journey that focuses on progress rather than perfection.
When stepping out of the barbershop feeling confident and renewed, it's important to remember that appearance is just one aspect of self-care. Proper self-care goes beyond surface-level concerns; it involves tending to one's inner well-being by nurturing the mind, body, and soul. Black men deserve to invest in themselves, cultivate resilience, and safeguard peace. Making this commitment to oneself is an act of empowerment and self-worth.
Read more from Dr. Nichelle Chandler
Dr. Nichelle Chandler, Psychotherapist and Life Coach
Dr. Nichelle Chandler is a dynamic mother, wife, motivator, educator, coach, and psychotherapist. As the founder of Brooktree Counseling & Consulting, PLLC, and Lupus Freedom, she brings over 20 years of experience helping individuals unlock their full potential. Dr. Nichelle is deeply passionate about empowering women to create their desired lives. Her journey with Lupus has fueled her dedication to helping women with the condition thrive, just as she has.
