Sabine is a pioneering force in grief support and holistic healing. As a Registered Nutritionist and Yoga Therapist, she combines ancient wisdom with modern science to help the bereaved cope better with grief by establishing a healthy daily routine and addressing the wide range of ‘grief’ symptoms early on to restore balance in body and mind.
Losing a loved one is one of life's most profound and challenging experiences. In the midst of grief, a range of intense emotions can surface, including anger. While anger is a very natural response to loss, there are many factors that can literally ‘feed’ this anger, complicating how we cope with grief. As an Ayurvedic & Yoga Therapist, I understand the importance of addressing the physical as well as mental and emotional aspects of grief for overall healing and well-being.
The mind-body connection
The very concept of "mental health" is a misnomer. By separating the mind from the body, we create an artificial divide that doesn't reflect reality. The truth is, our physical and mental states are intrinsically intertwined.
Our emotions manifest as very real, physical experiences in the body. And when we ignore this mind-body connection, we do ourselves a big disservice in dealing with difficult emotions like anger and grief.
Mind, body & spirit: An inseparable trio
In the ancient Indian medical system of Ayurveda, there is an emphasis on balancing the body, mind, and spirit as all three are seen as interconnected. Imbalance in one area will inevitably cause imbalance in the other areas too. In the West, we tend to see mental health as something separate from physical health. But truly addressing "mental" issues requires looking at the whole picture - mind, body and spirit.
A prime example is the emotion of anger, which we often experience following a major bereavement. We tend to think of anger as just a mental or emotional state. But it actually has a very tangible, physical component rooted in the liver, according to ancient healing systems such as Traditional Chinese Medicine or Ayurveda.
Our liver – The seat of anger
Anger is a fiery emotion, and our liver is a 'hot' organ and our main detox organ. It is also the seat of ‘Pitta’ – one of the three ‘doshas’ or fundamental energies in Ayurveda. This hot ‘Pitta’ energy is responsible for metabolism and transformation, not only of food and toxins but also of thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
One of the core principles in Ayurvedic medicine is that like increases like, thereby causing an imbalance. In our scenario, the hot emotion of anger increases the already existing heat in the liver, which is necessary for metabolising everything – from nutrients, alcohol, and hormones to cholesterol, toxins, and medication.
Feeding the flames of anger
When we experience anger and suppress it instead of expressing it in a healthy way, this creates an imbalance which burdens the liver. Unresolved anger causes excess heat or Pitta and essentially "burns" the liver over time. This physical manifestation then feeds back into our emotional state, creating an escalating cycle of mind and body reinforcing each other.
We can perpetuate this anger cycle through our lifestyle choices without even realising it. Things like drinking alcohol or coffee, eating spicy foods, or too much sour or fermented foods such as cheese, unripe fruit, tomatoes or kimchi, over-exercising (especially in the heat), or doing hot yoga can all contribute to excess heat (or Pitta) in the liver. These physical stressors pour fuel on the internal fire that is anger.
Environmental influences on anger
Likewise, our environment and behaviours can either alleviate or exacerbate anger. Engaging in cooling practices like particular breathing techniques, going for evening walks when the temperature is cooler, and spending time near bodies of water can have a calming, cooling influence on both mind and body.
In contrast, living in a dry, hot climate will add heat and 'feed' fiery emotions.
Food as medicine: Cooling the flames
Food is also powerful medicine when it comes to managing anger. Ayurveda recommends eating a Pitta-pacifying diet to reduce heat in the body – and mind. This includes:
Eating more colourful red, orange and yellow fruits and vegetables like carrots, beets, pomegranate or fresh apricots as they support the liver.
Using herbs like turmeric, coriander and fennel seeds that can help cool the liver.
Incorporating coconut – whether as water, oil, flour or desiccated – due to its cooling, Pitta-reducing properties.
The body-mind partnership
"The body isn't a shell for the mind, it's an equal partner" – Anodea Judith
This insightful quote captures a fundamental truth in understanding emotions, particularly in the context of grief. The key is recognising that anger (and all emotions) are not just mental states, but full mind-body experiences.
Addressing just the emotional component through therapies like talk therapy is useful, but limited in its effectiveness if we ignore the physical factors at play.
Holistic approach to anger in grief
Anger is a very common emotion that comes up in times of grief. By understanding the mind-body dynamics underlying anger, we can take a more holistic approach to navigating this powerful emotion by making small yet significant food and lifestyle adjustments.
Additionally, simple changes to our environment and physical practices can create biochemical shifts to help rebalance the whole system of mind, body and spirit.
Embracing wholeness in healing
When we embrace this holistic perspective of emotions as an interplay of mental, physical, and spiritual factors, we open the door to much deeper levels of self-awareness, emotional mastery, and overall well-being. Anger and grief need not consume us if we look at them as multi-dimensional experiences requiring multi-dimensional solutions.
There is no separating the mind from the body. We are wholes, not separate parts. Taking this unified view allows us to harness the mind-body connection to our profound benefit, especially when navigating the emotional turmoil of loss and grief.
This holistic perspective can also help us address other imbalances triggered by grief, a very common one being perfectionism.
Don’t face anger alone
I vividly remember all the anger I felt after my husband died. It was all-consuming and I didn't feel safe tackling it alone. While I did my best to help myself at the time, I now wish I'd had someone to guide me through cooling this intense anger by calming the liver – knowledge I've since gained and now share to support others in need.
Are you or a loved one struggling with anger in grief? Don't face it alone. Let's work together to manage and process your anger in a safe, healthy, and holistic way. I'll guide you through proven techniques that address both the emotional and physical aspects of your anger, helping you find balance and peace.
Book your complimentary 30-minute ‘First Steps Grief Support’ session today.
Interested in reading more on the subject of anger and grief? Here’s another article how rising summer temperatures can intensify the heat of anger and complicate the grieving process, click here.
Key takeaways:
Anger in grief is not just emotional but has physical components, particularly related to liver function.
Diet, lifestyle, and environment can exacerbate or alleviate anger by influencing our physical state.
Ayurvedic principles suggest cooling foods and practices to balance the heat associated with anger.
A holistic approach addressing mind, body, and spirit is most effective for managing anger in grief.
Recognising the mind-body connection opens up more comprehensive ways of healing and emotional mastery.
Sabine Horner, Grief Nutritionist, Ayurvedic & Yoga Therapist
After losing her partner to leukaemia, Sabine turned her grief into a mission of hope. As a Registered Nutritionist and Yoga Therapist, she uncovered the hidden link between bereavement and gut health, revealing how profound loss impacts the entire body, not just the mind. Now, Sabine is transforming grief support by harnessing the power of food and breath. Her unique blend of ancient wisdom and modern science equips the bereaved with practical tools to navigate grief with greater resilience, empowering them to understand their innate strengths and address grief-related imbalances. Through speaking events, podcasts, and writings, she helps people proactively safeguard their health after profound loss. Sabine firmly believes in the body's healing power and that, while pain may be inevitable, suffering doesn't have to be.
