Written by: Vince Morales, Senior Level Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back if you are reading this. That is because you are one of many people trying to improve themselves in some significant way. And like others, you might spend some significant money doing so. You need to look no further than yearly sales figures to validate that statement. The self-improvement industry generates between $10 billion and $12 billion in sales annually, depending on your information source.
By the way, we are not just talking about improving your life on a basic level. Even animals do that. If a cat or dog is outside when it starts to rain, they will seek shelter. Animals look for food when they are hungry. Those are basic behaviors that are hardwired into the natural tendencies of all animals, so naturally the same applies to human beings.
We are talking about improvements that make you the best version of yourself mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
We all try to do this to some degree, don't we? Humans do it in many areas, much more so than animals. This has rocketed us to the top of the food chain. Our survival instinct has joined knowledge of our existence to create an unconscious desire to continually strive for a better experience.
This is called sentience. It means you can experience and understand negative and positive feelings and know that you are alive and existing. You are aware of your ultimate mortality and the fleeting nature of our time here on earth, one more second of which is not guaranteed to any of us.
These factors make people like you constantly desire to create the best possible experience.
There are countless books, videos, and courses in the self-improvement and self-help industries. We all have access to tons of information that can help us create a better experience. If that is the case, and it certainly is, why aren't we all living our best lives? Sometimes it might be because the steps we need to take to create that reality are not presented in a way that leads to success.
For instance, you might understand the SMART approach to goal achievement. We are told that our goals must be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-Bound for us to cross them off our bucket lists. George T. Doran first presented this idea in a 1981 issue of the Management Review magazine. The idea is over 40 years old. That being the case, why have so many of us failed to achieve our goals and realize our dreams? The process seems simple enough, right?
The answer might be that it does not resonate with everyone. It focuses on what our goals need to be rather than what we physically and mentally must do to take action and achieve those goals.
A list of ingredients used to make the greatest-tasting cake in the world has no power. You must follow specific steps in a particular order to bake the cake. The ingredients enough are not alone. You need to be told exactly what actions to take and even what kitchen utensils and appliances can help speed up your journey to success.
I am not here to help you bake a cake today. What I am here to give you not only the ingredients for creating your best-ever self but also the step-by-step recipe for getting the job done. Just like you cannot bake a cake without an oven, certain necessities are required for you to become the best "you" possible.
These include milestones and a support group. You will learn to quiet your often negative inner voice and swap unhealthy habits for good. You will answer why good enough is not good enough for you. The process to more self-fulfillment and happiness begins by asking two simple questions:
What makes up the best-ever you?
What Does the Best Version of You Look Like?
Sometimes we are unhappy with the life we have created for a simple reason. Without realizing it, we attempt to be what other people want us to be.
If you are like most people, you begin your day by turning on multiple consumer electronics devices. You click on the television and power up your phone as soon as you shuffle off last night's slumber. In the not-too-distant past, coffee was the first consideration upon waking. That is not true anymore.
Many people begin their days listening to the talking heads of their local or national news organizations and checking to see what text messages they missed while they slept the previous night. This is a negative way to subconsciously begin your day by living according to the thoughts and influences of others.
You might want to know what your local newscasters tell you. Even so, you will be blasted by commercials and other media messages while you check out the weather and traffic you have to deal with in your local area. The same is true when you check in on Facebook or surf the Internet on your phone.
You are constantly bombarded with marketing influences, societal pressures, and other things that sneak into your head and tell you how you are supposed to live. Your well-meaning family and friends will tell you what you should and should not be doing with your life according to your age, health, and other factors.
In almost every case, most of this unsolicited advice and these marketing messages will never help you become the unique, once-in-human-history individual you were meant to be.
By the way, I am not exaggerating when we refer to you as a distinctive, special, and unique individual. An exact replica of you has never existed before and will never exist after you are gone. That is how truly special and wonderful God thinks you are. It means that you need to start looking inward rather than externally if you are ever going to create the best version of yourself. I learned the power of that when I was a struggling homeless veteran in San Diego, CA. The resources around me for veterans were largely not available to me. One of the things homeless people often fail to do is ask the right questions. Most people in other situations fail at doing the same. Through your challenging moments, are you asking yourself the right questions? But I am talking about becoming the best version of you.
“Asking any questions will get you any answers. Asking the wrong questions will get you the wrong answers. Asking the right questions will get you the right answers. However, asking the right questions at the right time will get you the right solutions.” – Vince Morales
One way to do that is by asking the following questions.
If I was told I only had one year left to live, what would I make certain I would accomplish or experience?
Look at your friends and the other people you spend a lot of time with voluntarily. Do they support your deepest and most strongly held values, or are they pushing you away from your best-ever self?
When do I feel the most fulfilled, as if the world is perfect and I want for nothing emotionally, physically, spiritually, and in any other way?
What have I wanted to improve for years but have not? Is this because I want to create this change for me, or because of some exterior influences?
Are there any things I want to be, have or experience so strongly that I do not care if my friends, family members, or anyone else does not approve?
Do I want to be wealthier/skinnier/prettier/smarter/anything-er because that is really who I am or because the world wants me to be those things?
Look to your emotions. What is your current life gives you the most positive feelings? What creates the most negative feelings about your current reality?
Finally, what does the best version of you look like to you and nobody else? Look to your senses. What are the tastes, smells, sights and sounds, and things you are touching, experiencing, and feeling in your most perfect reality?
Do not Be Scared to Turn to the Negatives in Your Life
We are often driven to effective change because we are tired of what we are currently experiencing. This goes back to the strong drive we mentioned earlier that human beings must continually improve their lives. That fire is sometimes stoked by negative experiences.
It is okay to spend some time looking at the negatives in your life. This can be enormously powerful. It reveals external influences you need to get out of your life. You also discover your values, desires, and other internal factors that are unique to you. They can influence positive change and finally help you create the version of yourself you are looking for.
Speaking of negatives, why haven't you been able to live your dreams and achieve your big goals? What has kept you from creating a fairytale version of yourself and your life? It might all depend on your thinking. Becoming the best version of you will start with changing your thinking about that best version of you. What do you think?
“One of the reasons people don’t achieve their dreams is that they desire to change their results without changing their thinking.” – John C. Maxwell
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Vince Morales, Senior Level Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Vince Morales is a mindset, self-image, and resilience coach. In addition, he is skilled in leadership consultation and development. From April 2016 to June 2017, Vince was a homeless veteran in San Diego, CA. While homeless, he made a powerful decision to change his thinking and mindset, launching into life coaching. He developed a niche for resilience and mindset coaching. The growth of his business ultimately led to the end of his homelessness. Vince is the Founder of Validus Coaching & Consulting, formerly Zoe Transformation. His story has been featured in online articles and online news outlets all over the U.S. He is a certified John Maxwell Team Coach, Trainer, & Speaker, as well as a motivational speaker. In 2021, Vince earned his Master's degree in Psychology of Leadership from Penn State University and is currently a doctoral student pursuing a Ph.D. in Performance Psychology. He is a 2020 inductee into The National Society of Leadership and Success.
