Written by: Silvana Avram, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today, I am wise, so I am changing myself.” — Rumi
If you have been watching the news recently, you know, like me, that our world is not in a good place. Conflict and division are rife in our communities. We have become accustomed to living in fear. We are weary and suspicious. We feel helpless and disheartened and we expect the worst. There is a lot of anxiety in our society.
We have allowed negativity to have the upper hand.
“It’s always been like that!”, some of us say, shrugging our shoulders.
Others get angry and accuse authorities or politicians.
Most of us feel despondent.
Yet, it doesn’t have to be this way.
And you know what? It’s time we accepted responsibility.
The outer world is simply a reflection of our inner world.
Our world is our creation. We create our reality.
It may be difficult to hear — but the truth is that we are responsible for the world we live in.
We are the ones writing our personal, and our common story.
And any change we want to make will not be helped by getting angry or blaming others.
Change starts with us; it starts from within.
To better our world, we must change our perspective, change our strategy.
Take back control.
Stop pretending.
Stop fighting with others and ourselves.
Acknowledge our responsibility and commit to taking action.
Bring back some balance, some harmony.
Each one of us has the power to change our story.
Together, we can change the story of humanity.
I suggest we call this process of empowerment “Alchemy”.
Transmuting base metal into gold, lower, heavier energy into higher, lighter energy.
Transmuting negativity into positivity.
It is an arduous task.
It may well be the very purpose of our lives.
The ultimate journey, for each one of us and for humanity.
Why should we do it?
To write an inspiring, uplifting story.
To fulfill our highest potential and be the best we can be.
Where should we start?
By acknowledging reality and taking responsibility.
Let us define our challenge and our goal.
Then, we will look at the first 3 steps of our transformational journey.
Our current reality — by delegating responsibility and giving in to fear and division we have created a world dominated by negativity.
I visualise negativity (and you can do the same, with me) as a thick layer of fog enveloping the Earth, the sum total of all our thoughts of fear, resentment, hatred, guilt, blame, judgment, anger, frustration, envy, jealousy, helplessness, sadness, despair...
Much like factories polluting the atmosphere, our thoughts pollute our common sky, our common energy, constantly.
And none of us is innocent.
Take the example of Ecology. It is a good thing, no doubt, that more and more people are becoming aware of the damage we are doing to our Earth through our reckless behaviour.
Yet, even a noble cause like this can create conflict, when we do not approach it wisely and compassionately. Terms such as “the fight for climate” reveal our attachment to conflict and reinforce negativity. The “us against them” mentality continues to dominate our reasoning. Good intentions are overshadowed by judgemental attitudes. Feelings of guilt are exacerbated, and helplessness is deepening.
It is a perfect example of how, despite our best intentions, and without even knowing, we contribute daily to a much more insidious, and, I would argue, dangerous, form of pollution.
Unbeknown to us, we are choked and blinded by an invisible, lethal killer: our world’s omnipresent negativity.
We have become so accustomed to our negative mental environment that we don’t even notice its pollution. We swim in the ocean of negativity as naturally as fish swim in water.
But unlike the fish, who, by all accounts, are not responsible for the pollution, we are. We contribute to it. With every low vibration, negative thought, with every judgment.
The good news?
Because we are responsible for our world, we are also the only ones who can change it.
We have that power.
So, before you start feeling guilty or overwhelmed — thus, sadly, adding more negativity to our common story, let me reassure you:
It is in our power to transform our reality.
To succeed, we must, of course, commit to the task.
Work towards our goal relentlessly.
Our goal — replacing the old narrative of helplessness, fear and division with an empowering, positive, new outlook — by taking responsibility.
Rather than blaming others and finding ourselves in an endless conflict, let us start by paying attention to our own thoughts and emotions, individually.
As sages rightly say, it is absurd to believe that one can bring peace on Earth if one is not at peace oneself.
We will not change our reality for the better if we try to do so angrily.
We can only offer nurturing love to those around us, and to the Earth if we do our best to always behave lovingly.
The next step?
Focus on what is in our power.
Focus on what we can do to affect change instantly.
Start by paying attention to our thoughts, our words, and reactions.
Start by clearing our own thoughts and emotions of negativity.
Instead of wasting our energy judging or attempting to change others and the world, let us employ a better strategy.
Let us be humble and smart.
Let us focus on bettering ourselves.
With courage and honesty.
Let us become Alchemists.
Learn to transform base metal into gold... transmute our fear into trust, our anger into compassion, and every form of negativity into nurturing, empowering positivity.
Let us transform our lives, one choice at a time.
Write a more beautiful story.
Create a worthy legacy for humanity.
Of course, this will not be easy.
It will not happen overnight.
It will be an ongoing, arduous journey.
A journey of a lifetime, as all those who have committed to it, can attest.
A journey that takes awareness, infinite patience, courage, and resilience.
Success will not come from eradicating negativity — a virtually impossible task - but, rather, from becoming masters of our own destiny: from building the strength to take full responsibility, in all circumstances, for our thoughts, words, and actions — so we can truly be the best we can be.
All great stories showcase the meeting between two opposite forces. What we identify as negativity, in its various forms, is a constant challenge on our journey.
To become a hero, one must show courage and mastery.
Heroes use adversity to better themselves. Their confrontation with opposing forces helps them become wiser and stronger.
The wiser and stronger they become, the more subtle the challenges.
The journey of transformation involves perpetual confrontation to our limitations.
True heroes show resolve and bravery again and again.
Like them, we must act patiently, responsibly, smartly, determinedly.
If we don’t rise to the challenge, our horizon will become darker and darker; our garden will be overwhelmed by weeds. Our world, like the Earth right now, will be suffocating.
The story that we have created so far does not make us feel proud or happy.
Whilst opposing forces are part of life, we have allowed our world to become imbalanced – to be overwhelmed by negativity.
We need to re-establish harmony.
We need to nurture positivity if we want to create a better story for humanity.
I like to believe that we are all called to be heroes - constantly confronting our shadow, turning our weaknesses into opportunities to learn and evolve, so we can fulfill our potential, and be the best we can be.
To succeed, we need a smarter strategy.
There is a better way to deal with our fears, our doubts, our selfishness.
If we approach lower emotions in ourselves and others with shame, anger, or contempt, it is a clear victory for negativity.
Instead, let us be aware, stay alert, and take responsibility for who we are, in all our complexity.
With every choice, we can create a better version of ourselves.
After all, that is how we become Alchemists.
By constantly distilling negativity into positivity.
So, with a sense of gratitude and empowerment, let us commit to this journey.
We have nothing to lose - everything to gain:
Being proud of who we are.
Being heroes of our own story, and of the epic, wondrous story of humanity.
Becoming a modern Alchemist is a lifetime commitment.
A journey of profound transformation and emancipation.
A journey that you can start today by taking the first three steps we will describe in this article.
These steps have been tried and tested. They are part of our common legacy.
They have been mentioned in various ways, throughout the ages, by spiritual leaders, sages, and philosophers.
I know they are transformative, because I have been implementing them myself, and I have shared them with my coaching clients and students.
In fact, one may say, Coaching is a form of Alchemy.
An ongoing commitment to do everything in our power to be the best we can be.
The secret, of course, is to make and keep that commitment.
To embrace this new perspective.
To make that crucial change of strategy.
To implement the techniques we learn, permanently.
To stick to our decision - and to allow our life to transform - gradually, irreversibly.
And this, for most of us, is quite scary!
No more conflict? No more blaming others? No more victimhood? No more pretence? No more excuses? Only responsibility? Peace and calm? Positivity?
This sounds alarming to many.
Because we can’t believe that it is possible. Because, as mentioned earlier, we have become accustomed to negativity.
What about you? How do you feel right now, as you are reading this? Listen to your inner voice — what is it saying? Are you ready to commit to living a life of responsibility and positivity? Do you think it is possible?
Do not judge, just observe.
When we start to have an honest dialogue with ourselves, we realise just how attached we have become to conflict and pain, to the blame game, to victimhood... to all forms of negativity. Considering another as a “stranger”, “a foreigner”, an enemy or a competitor is not just normal in our world. It is, in an odd way, reassuring. It reinforces the narrative that the world is a dangerous, scary, unjust place and that being selfish and defensive... is justified.
It allows us, ironically, to stay in our “comfort zone” of fear and mistrust... and to delegate responsibility.
We all want to identify with the good and the just. We want to believe that we are honest and nice, that truth is on our side. Yet, to survive, we had to learn how to lie very early on; misleading others for our gain is perfectly accepted — as smart marketing — in our society. And every “cool” add out there is constantly selling false hopes, cheerfully.
There is no point denying responsibility. Lower energies, dishonesty… conflict, are part of our inner and outer world. Refusing to accept this reality and blaming others for our individual and common shortfalls will only keep us trapped in a spiral of negativity.
Thinking in terms of “me against the world”, “us against them” will only add to the conflict.
And so will blaming ourselves, or trying to “fight” negativity.
The only way out of this vicious cercle is to let go of our attachment to duality.
Responsibility does not lie either with others or with us. It is shared.
A situation is never just good or just bad. As they say, things are never what they seem to be.
As human beings, we can be both kind and unkind, wise and unwise, strong and weak, bold and shy.
Learning to become Alchemists means learning to go beyond opposites.
To understand that what we see as negativity is, like everything else, a form of energy.
Energy waiting to be transformed.
Opportunity.
As Alchemists, we learn to respect it and to use its force — by transmuting it.
We learn to distil base metal into gold, dark matter into light.
We bypass the conflict in duality, by recognizing that both sides are needed.
Where we used to see opposition, we now see harmony.
Where we used to see impasse, we now see potential.
We see opportunity in negativity.
We transmute energy.
We know we have succeeded when we develop a feeling of inner power and deep gratitude.
A feeling of acceptance of what is.
A feeling that could take the shape of an inner smile.
Serenity.
Let us start the journey towards becoming Alchemists.
Let us take the 3 first steps towards “distilling” negativity, towards becoming masters of our life, proud writers of our own story.
3 steps to become a modern Alchemist and transform your life by transmuting negativity
1. Acknowledge negativity. Without judging, without reacting.
Notice what is happening... neutrally.
Every time you notice negativity - in your thoughts, words, actions– stop and acknowledge it.
Look at it with curiosity.
Observe your reactions. Resist the temptation to fight it or to explain it.
No blame, no justification, no excuses.
Just acceptance of what is.
Like noticing a cloud in the sky.
Like acknowledging a headache.
Soon you will be able to do the same with any form of negativity you see around you.
To become better at identifying negativity without reacting to it…negatively, create your own ritual.
I choose to smile whenever I spot a negative thought or reaction.
It is easy, it helps dissolve tension, it instantly brings positivity, and it allows me to remain calm and serene. It also benefits everyone else around me.
There is a subtle sense of satisfaction too - like a small victory.
If smiling does not do it for you, you could just simply give yourself a thumbs up for noticing negativity or even turn this into an inner game of “I spy”, to make the process lighter and more fun...
Find what works for you. The most important thing is to commit to doing it, regularly, relentlessly. To get into a habit. Until spotting, negativity becomes second nature to you, and you do it all the time, naturally.
A word of warning: It may start to feel overwhelming to see just how much negativity there is in our own thoughts and all around us. Don’t allow this to discourage you.
Your awareness is like a candle lit in the dark.
If you make sure to keep the light going it will become stronger, and spread, eventually.
Identifying and acknowledging negativity, constantly, in a neutral, non-judgmental manner, is the first, and the most important step, on our transformative journey.
It brings a sense of peace and power. You are alert, calm and brave. You have the courage to confront reality.
2. Re-establish harmony by finding a positive perspective to balance negativity.
“All under heaven see beauty as beauty only because they also see ugliness.
All announce that good is good only because they also denounce what is bad.
Therefore, something and nothing give birth to one another.
Difficult and easy complete one another.
Long and short fashion one another. High and low arise from one another.”
This beautiful passage from The Tao Te Ching (Translation by Tolbert McCarroll) reminds us that life, as we experience it, is duality. Yin and yang, light and dark, soft and hard, active and passive, in and out, giver and receiver.
There is a blue sky behind the clouds.
There are stars shining through the darkest of nights.
There is positivity in negativity.
We must always remember the balance- the give-and-take of energy.
In our endeavour to become alchemists, it is essential to maintain equilibrium.
In practice, this principle, known as the technique of “replacement” in Buddhist texts, is simple. In fact, we do this often, instinctively. If we catch ourselves disliking or judging someone else, we can appeal to our kindness and, instead, start thinking of the positive characteristics of that person. To balance a negative reaction to something we have seen or heard in the news, we put things into perspective and look towards the good things that are happening. When we realise that we are consuming something that is not good for our health, we remind ourselves of the benefits of being healthy.
The secret is to do it consciously and constantly.
This technique takes us one step further from mere acknowledgement.
We observe what is happening- we notice the imbalance in negativity – and we rebalance the scales.
Without judgment, but with determination, we commit to expanding our awareness so we can find a positive, constructive perspective for every situation we encounter.
At first, this may appear awkward and artificial.
It is just like remembering to choose to see the glass half full.
For some people this comes naturally. But anyone can train to do it.
And the more we do it, the more natural and empowering it becomes.
We build an inner, indefectible, equilibrium.
We know the reality. The glass is neither full nor empty.
But the very fact that we can see this is a win for positivity!
People often ask if it is truly possible to be serene and positive when confronted with difficult, painful, or even tragic situations. It is not easy, but it is possible, with practice, awareness, and commitment.
In fact, one of the extraordinary advantages of Coaching is exactly this: learning to open the perspective, to trust life and one’s own ability to find solutions, to see opportunity in adversity.
The benefits are immeasurable. Serenity, trust. A sense of empowerment and security.
When we learn to look for opportunity in every situation, when we learn to balance the negativity we encounter constantly with positivity — we build resilience, we ignite creativity, and we profoundly transform the way we relate to life and to our own destiny.
We develop acceptance and forgiveness for ourselves and for others.
We understand the struggle that everyone is facing.
We develop patience and compassion.
We develop a deep sense of solidarity.
We are one step closer to becoming Alchemists — masters of our life.
We realise that we can take back control. That our thoughts, words, and reactions matter.
That they create our reality.
3. Take full responsibility. Choose to see the gift, the lesson in every form of negativity.
Ask yourself, “What can I learn from this, what can I do about it?” Seize the opportunity. Use negativity as fuel for transformation. Transmute it into empowering, positive, energy.
Remember you are training to become an Alchemist.
Be patient. There is a lot of work to do, for all of us.
Commit to looking for the lessons, for the gift of learning and improving in all circumstances.
Stop the blame game - change the focus - decide to take responsibility.
When you feel like judging someone else, observe that tendency with compassion and then ask yourself: What is this telling me?
What can I do to balance this situation?
Rather than adding more judgement and negativity, how can I change the way I think and feel, so I can help myself and others?
Go inward and focus on yourself: your beliefs, your choices, your reactions, your actions.
Whenever you feel like reacting, breathe deeply and remind yourself that there is a better way – the way of compassion.
Ask yourself, "Is what I am going to say or do positive and helpful?"
Make a promise to keep quiet if you are not sure.
By choosing to be aware, patient and kind, you help yourself and you help others.
We are all contributing to creating our common reality.
Lead the way by being an example of kindness and serenity.
Live by the highest standards you can set for yourself.
Radiate positivity.
Three steps: Awareness, Balance, Transmutation
You become aware of, and alert to the various forms of negativity prevalent in our world.
You neutralise negativity by constantly bringing in a positive, balancing perspective.
And you transmute negative energy by taking responsibility, by looking for the lesson, for the gift it carries. You distil negativity - you create positivity.
Commit to this transformative journey of Alchemy and your life will never be the same.
You will be happier, more confident, more in control and… always serenely busy…
We will not be able to transform the negativity we have created and accumulated in our world in one day — or even in a lifetime — but by taking responsibility for our thoughts, words, and actions we can change our life, have a positive impact, and create a valuable legacy.
One step in the right direction can make all the difference.
Let that be our hero’s journey.
Each one of us doing our bit, each one of us being the best we can be.
All of us rediscovering compassion and solidarity, relying on each other to create a more positive, loving, healthy and welcoming world... for ourselves, and for humanity.
Let this be the new, uplifting, narrative to our common story.
As more of us commit to this vision and decide to choose positivity... there will, undoubtedly, come a day when we realise that we have transformed our reality.
Join the revolution of positivity.
Become the hero of your story.
Be an Alchemist.
Transform reality.
Silvana Avram, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Silvana Avram is a successful, Inspirational Life Coach, philosopher, author, teacher, and founder of Life Coaching with Silvana - whose mission is to empower us to embrace our uniqueness, fall in love with life, fulfill our potential and create a beautiful legacy. Fascinated from a young age by the mystery of life and our place in the universe, Silvana has been on a quest to find her own answers to the big existential questions facing humanity. Now an acclaimed Coach and Author, she draws on her extensive study of Philosophy, Psychology, Meditation, Holistic Healing, and Spirituality to create a uniquely inspirational and empowering style of Coaching - also reflected in her Book “Being You and Loving You” in which she guides us through an unforgettable, transformative journey of self-discovery and self-love. Convinced that we can overcome the prevalent paradigms of fear and division, Silvana has recently focussed her attention on developing a radically innovative approach, outlined in her upcoming book, “Living in Eternity” – and which has earned her an unexpected nickname: “Miss Eternity”! She argues passionately that, rather than chasing goal after goal and living for tomorrow, we should, instead, live every day, every moment, with the joy, awe, and serenity we experience when we see our lives from the perspective of Eternity. When we choose to live in Eternity, everything falls into place, everything we do takes on a different meaning, and we become aware that, as humanity, we are, in fact, constantly creating our common legacy. Silvana’s ambition: to inspire us to write a better story for ourselves – and for humanity – in Eternity!
