Written by Gary Bennett, Children's Life Coach
Gary has 12 years of experience as a dedicated primary school teacher. Beyond the classroom, he serves as a private tutor, specializing in aiding children who face challenges in accessing mainstream education due to emotional dysregulation.
As the summer days wind down and a new school year approaches, many children and their parents will find themselves facing a mix of emotions. Any excitement about new experiences, friends, and learning opportunities will often be overshadowed by anxiety and nerves. These feelings are entirely normal, but they can also be overwhelming, especially for younger students or those entering a new school or year group. This article will explore the causes of back-to-school nerves and provide actionable strategies to help children manage their anxiety and give themselves the best chance for a successful and enjoyable school year.
Understanding back-to-school nerves
Back-to-school nerves are a common experience for many children but the reasons behind these feelings can vary widely. Understanding these causes is the first step in helping children overcome their anxiety.
Fear of the unknown
The start of a new school year brings with it a lot of uncertainty. Children may worry about what their new teachers will be like, whether they will make friends, or how challenging the schoolwork will be. For some, the fear of the unknown can create significant anxiety.
Separation anxiety
For younger children, especially those starting school for the first time or starting at a new school, separation anxiety can be a major concern. Being away from their parents or carers for an extended period can be daunting, leading to nervousness and fear.
Social pressure
As children grow older, social dynamics become more complex. The pressure to fit in, make friends and avoid bullying or exclusion can be a significant source of stress. Adolescents, in particular, may feel anxious about how they are perceived by their peers.
Academic pressure
With each new school year comes increased academic expectations. Some children may feel nervous about whether they can keep up with the workload, meet their teachers' expectations, or perform well on tests and assignments.
Transitioning to a new school or year group
Moving to a new school or advancing to a higher year group can be especially challenging. The unfamiliar environment, new routines and different expectations can all contribute to heightened anxiety.
Signs of back-to-school anxiety
It's important for parents, teachers, and carers to recognise the signs of back-to-school anxiety so they can provide support and guidance. Some common signs include:
Physical symptoms
Complaints of stomach aches, headaches, or other physical discomforts without a clear medical cause can be a sign of anxiety. Some children may also experience sleep disturbances, such as trouble falling asleep or waking up frequently during the night.
Behavioural changes
Children who are anxious about school may become more clingy, withdrawn or irritable. They might also show a lack of interest in activities they usually enjoy or become more easily upset or frustrated.
Avoidance: Some children may try to avoid school-related activities altogether, such as refusing to talk about school, not wanting to go shopping for a new school uniform, procrastinating on schoolwork or even expressing a desire not to go to school.
Emotional Outbursts: Anxiety can sometimes manifest as increased emotional sensitivity or outbursts. Children may cry more easily, become angry or defiant or express feelings of sadness or hopelessness.
Strategies to overcome back-to-school anxiety
While back-to-school nerves are normal, there are many strategies that can help children manage their anxiety and start the school year with confidence and a positive outlook.
Open communication
Encourage children to talk about their feelings and concerns. Listen actively and validate their emotions, letting them know that it's okay to feel nervous. Sometimes, just having someone to talk to can make a big difference.
Establish a routine
Creating a predictable daily routine can help children feel more secure and in control. Start transitioning to a school-year schedule a few weeks before the first day of school. This includes setting regular bedtimes, waking up at the same time each day and planning time for homework, meals and relaxation.
Visit the school
If possible, visit the school before the first day to help familiarise your child with the environment. Walk around the school, locate their classroom and explore key areas like the canteen, playground, and bathrooms. This can help reduce the fear of the unknown and make the school feel more familiar and less intimidating.
Meet the teacher
Many schools offer opportunities to meet the teacher before the school year begins. Take advantage of this if possible. A brief introduction can help children feel more comfortable and less anxious about who will be leading their classroom.
Focus on the positive
Help your child focus on the exciting aspects of the new school year, such as making new friends, learning new things or participating in fun activities. Encourage them to set positive goals for the year, whether it's improving in a particular subject, joining a club or sport, or making a new friend.
Practice relaxation techniques
Teach your child simple relaxation techniques that they can use when they start to feel anxious. Deep breathing, visualisation or progressive muscle relaxation can help calm nerves. You can practice these techniques together at home so your child feels comfortable using them at school.
Create a comfort object
For younger children, a small comfort object like a favourite toy or a family photo can provide a sense of security. If the school allows it, letting your child bring a small, familiar object in their backpack can help ease anxiety during the school day. In lieu of this, a hug button is a great alternative.
Encourage independence
Gradually encourage your child to take on more responsibility such as packing their own backpack, making their own packed lunch, laying out their clothes for the next day or making simple decisions about their daily routine. Building independence can boost their confidence and reduce anxiety.
Role-playing scenarios
If your child is worried about specific situations, such as making friends or answering questions in class, role-playing can be a helpful tool. Practice different scenarios at home so your child feels more prepared and confident in how to handle them.
Stay positive and supportive
Your attitude toward the upcoming school year can have a big impact on your child's outlook. Stay positive, express confidence in your child's abilities, and be supportive as they navigate the challenges of a new school year.
Preparing for a successful school year
Beyond managing back-to-school nerves, there are several strategies children can adopt to ensure they have a productive and enjoyable school year. These tips focus on fostering a positive mindset, building strong relationships, and developing good study habits.
Set realistic goals
At the start of the school year, help your child set realistic and achievable goals. These can be academic, social, or personal. Having clear goals gives children something to work toward and can help them stay focused and motivated throughout the year.
Stay organised
Organisation is key to success in school. Encourage your child to keep track of homework, assignments, tests and extracurricular activities using a planner or digital calendar. Help them develop a system for organising their schoolwork and supplies so they can stay on top of their responsibilities.
Develop a study routine
Establishing a regular study routine can help children stay on track academically. Set aside a specific time and place for homework each day, free from distractions. Encourage your child to review their notes regularly and break down larger assignments into manageable chunks.
Prioritize sleep and nutrition
A healthy body supports a healthy mind. Ensure your child is getting enough sleep each night, as adequate rest is crucial for concentration, memory and overall well-being. Additionally, provide balanced meals and snacks to fuel their energy and focus throughout the day.
Get Involved in extracurricular activities
Encourage your child to explore extracurricular activities that interest them, whether it's sports, music, art or a club. Participating in activities outside the classroom can help children build new friendships, develop skills and feel more connected to their school community.
Build positive relationships
Encourage your child to make an effort to build positive relationships with their teachers and classmates. Strong relationships with teachers can make the classroom a more supportive environment, while friendships with peers can provide emotional support and make school more enjoyable.
Practice good communication skills
Effective communication is an important skill both in and out of the classroom. Encourage your child to ask questions when they don't understand something, express their opinions respectfully and listen actively to others. Good communication can help them succeed academically and socially.
Stay curious and engaged
Foster a love of learning by encouraging your child to stay curious and engaged with their schoolwork. Show interest in what they're learning, ask questions and explore topics together. When children see learning as an exciting adventure, they're more likely to stay motivated and do their best.
Celebrate Successes, Big and Small: Celebrate your child's successes throughout the school year, whether it's acing a test, making a new friend or simply overcoming a challenge. Positive reinforcement can boost their confidence and encourage them to keep striving for their goals.
Stay flexible and adaptable
Remind your child that it's okay if things don't always go as planned. The school year will have its ups and downs, but staying flexible and adaptable can help them navigate challenges with resilience. Encourage them to see mistakes as learning opportunities and to keep a positive attitude even when things get tough.
When to seek additional help
While most children can manage their back-to-school anxiety with support and coping strategies, some may need additional help. If your child's anxiety is persistent, overwhelming or interfering with their ability to function in daily life, it may be time to seek professional support.
Talk to the School SENDCO or Pastoral team
Pastoral teams are trained to help children manage anxiety and other emotional challenges. They can provide individual or group sessions, help develop coping strategies and work with teachers to support your child's needs in the classroom.
Consult a mental health professional
If your child's anxiety is severe or not improving, consider consulting a child psychologist or psychiatrist. A mental health professional can provide a thorough evaluation and recommend appropriate interventions, such as therapy or medication if necessary.
Collaborate with the school
If your child has significant anxiety, work closely with their school to create a supportive environment. This may involve developing an individualised education plan (IEP), which outlines specific accommodations and supports to help your child succeed academically and emotionally.
Back-to-school nerves are a common experience for many children, but with the right support and strategies, they can overcome their anxiety and have a successful school year. By understanding the causes of back-to-school anxiety, recognising the signs and implementing practical coping strategies, parents, teachers, and carers can help children feel more confident and prepared as they embark on a new academic journey. As the school year progresses, it's important to continue fostering a positive and supportive environment at home and in the classroom. Encourage your child to stay organised, set realistic goals and build strong relationships with peers and teachers. By promoting a love of learning, celebrating successes and helping them navigate challenges with resilience, you can set the stage for a school year filled with growth, achievement and happiness. The goal is not just to help children manage their anxiety but to empower them to thrive academically, socially and emotionally. With the right tools and mindset, every child has the potential to make the most of their school year and create lasting memories and friendships that will carry them through their educational journey and beyond.
Read more from Gary Bennett
Gary Bennett, Children's Life Coach
Gary has 12 years of experience as a dedicated primary school teacher. Beyond the classroom,
he serves as a private tutor, specializing in aiding children who face challenges in accessing mainstream education due to emotional dysregulation. As a certified Young Life Coach and Master NLP practitioner, Gary is committed to supporting young individuals dealing with issues like anxiety, bullying, low self-confidence, and self-esteem. His mission is to empower them to overcome limiting beliefs, ultimately enabling them to lead happier, more fulfilling lives. Gary’s multifaceted expertise positions him as a compassionate and effective advocate for the well-being and growth of young minds.
