Written by: Nicky Collins, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Autism isn’t something you grow out of; you don’t reach 18 and suddenly become “cured” of autism. Autism is a natural variation in human functioning and development, but when you put diagnosis into the equation, it becomes something totally different. Gaining the label of autism gives autistic people a deeper understanding of who they are and why they do the things that they do. There is NO cure because autistics don’t need curing. We need the world to step up and realise that we’re all part of a diverse pool, and without that diversity, we’d all probably be sitting in caves still.
Typically, the medical research for autism has been carried out on young cis-gendered white males. Through this research, the stereotypical autism norms were born, which means that if you don’t fit the tick boxes neatly, you’re very likely to be missed for a diagnosis; females, in particular, have a pretty rough time trying to work out why they feel different, why they don’t fit in anywhere, they often go undiagnosed well into their adult years. Being a coach who works exclusively with autistic adults and teens I have seen that there are plenty of males, non-binary and trans folk who also get missed for diagnosis. Adolescence is hard at the best of times, but when you’re autistic and you’re not aware that you’re autistic that’s when you start to gain other labels, like lazy, stupid, unwilling to apply themselves and being told that you just need to try harder, these are labels that last a lifetime and feed into the limiting beliefs that keep you small. What wasn’t and still isn’t taken into consideration by many people is the ability autistic people have to mask, it’s something you’re either great at or something you suck at, putting on a brave face and trying hard to pass as non-autistic, as neurotypical is hard work and it’s this strain that sees many autistics being hospitalised through burnout which looks very similar to a mental breakdown.
Now being autistic isn’t a bad thing; sure, it has its challenges, but everyone has their challenges regardless of their brain type. In the following list, I’ll cover some of the strengths and challenges that autism brings.
Hyperfocus
An intense laser-like focus means you zone out everything, and everyone around you can be almost obsessive at times. Not only does hyperfocus allow people to complete tasks in a record time, but it also allows people to simplify complex tasks and deliver outcomes faster than a non-autistic neurotypical person could. This can lead to thoughts of doubt over your ability, did I do it right? Did I miss things? It’s taking everyone else so much longer, and I must have messed up, right? No, you’re right on track. You didn’t do it wrong. You just zoned in and did it. Hyperfocus can help you to absorb large quantities of information in a short space of time. It’s an alternate way of thinking, you’re likely to see things from a different perspective, and the tasks that you set for yourself will be met with clarity and efficiency if you know the process behind the task.
Being hyper-aware of personal space and feeling hemmed in when someone stands too close, elevators really aren’t a comfortable place to be and tend to provoke high levels of anxiety.
Pattern recognition
Some autistic people are able to plan, design, and see processes in their heads. They can see all the steps laid out in front of them, the steps from A – Z, and a clear way of bridging the gap between the points. This can allow businesses to save time and money, as autistic people do have a way of cutting out unnecessary steps in processes. We also have this ability to see patterns in things when others see only randomness.
Heightened Senses
Being able to experience things through our senses in a non-typical or traditional way is super common for neurodivergent brains. Some people can smell colours, and textures can bring intense joy and feelings of calm. Certain sounds can elevate us to a different plane of existence, being able to hear things like the electricity running through the cables, knowing where the wiring is in the walls as you can hear it, knowing when your lightbulb is about to blow as it gets louder the closer to death it gets, knowing if there are electrical appliances on in your house, or even further afield, hearing frequencies that others can’t. Being able to smell where friends and family have been that day. Some people have different spatial awareness they can feel the air displacement, and some people can detect when a vehicle is near them or is about to make a dangerous maneuver before they do it. This has certainly saved me as I’ve been breaking well in advance of the danger being obvious.
Autistic minds can also be super distracted by sounds that other people don’t respond to or even hear, and fabrics and clothing tags are often a sensory nightmare, feeling like sandpaper rubbing against your skin.
Honest
Autistic people are generally without guile. There’s no hidden agenda, and this means you don’t have to work out what we’re saying. We say what we mean and mean what we say; we’re very genuine, so when people ask for our opinions, advice, or input, we answer directly, and this offends a lot of people. We don’t sugarcoat things or shy away from the truth, and people don’t always appreciate that. However, we don’t really lie. If we do, it’s because the truth has in the past got us into trouble, so we lie because that’s what we think you want to hear. I think this is something that improves with age and as the masks come off.
Empathetic
Contrary to popular belief, autistic people are incredibly empathetic, but we show it in different ways; sometimes, we feel all the feelings so deeply that we don’t know how to process them, and it’s hard to identify with our emotions at the best of times. Our empathy can also be very logical, based on fairness and truth rather than emotions; we are compassionate with a sense of justice and commitment to doing the right things. When an autistic person empathises they consider what experiences they’ve had that are similar to the person they’re empathising with, and then they share their story to demonstrate understanding, this gains labels such as self-centered or self-absorbed when in reality it’s logic-based empathy, we’re simply showing that we understand and are applying our own lived experience to demonstrate that understanding.
Committed
Autistic people are stubborn at times; we don’t tend to give up on a task until it’s mastered. It doesn’t matter how hard the task is, it doesn’t matter how many times it takes; we do not give up, we may, however, need to take multiple breaks to digest and process the information whilst we learn.
Learning Styles
Learning styles are different for everyone, but autistic folk process the world around them so differently than their neurotypical counterparts. There tends to be more of a delay in accessing information, this could look like reading the same section of text over and over whilst still not managing to keep it inside your head, but a few hours or days later, you’re like a walking Wikipedia, you can share the information you’ve now processed in great detail and even you’re surprised at this level of insight and knowledge, the same can be said for conversations with others, you can’t relay the information immediately, but given time it’ll magically become available to you to share verbally (if you’re a verbal communicator).
Special Interests
There is a difference between hobbies and special interests, and a hobby is something you can pick up and put down whenever you have time or whenever you want to; special interests are more intense and can seem obsessive in nature. They feel like they’re being driven by a motor that can’t be switched off. This can mean that you get an insane amount of work done in a short amount of time and digest so much information that you’re a quicker resource than google itself. This can lead to feelings of being misunderstood as those around you may not share your level of enthusiasm for your chosen topic/s.
And some other things… These didn’t really fit into the above categories, so again in no particular order, here are some autistic traits that show both the strengths and challenges
An Intense appreciation and joy over the simplest of things
Not finding simple things simple
Great with animals
Preferring the company of animals to people
Feeling different from other people
Talking without thinking
Very genuine
Creative
Wandering mind even if you’re trying to focus
Losing stuff – Constantly losing stuff, especially when you’re about to head out of the door or are in a state of flusters, like scan and shop… Now, where did I put those keys?
Being very organised and having a place for everything and becoming upset if things aren’t in their right place
Can be very in tune with their spiritual side
Not on top of chores around the house, no matter how much you want to be, no matter how much you try
Long-term memory is amazing
Short-term memory is terrible
Out-of-the-box thinking
Wanting to be alone, but not wanting to be lonely
Great leaders
Reliable
Kind
Being impatient – that impatience rises after having a child due to sleep deprivation, an excess of demands, and simply having the responsibility of having to care for someone other than yourself; husbands and wives can also be included in this
Leaving things to the last minute
Lover of facts as there’s no hidden agenda
High energy
High levels of stress or anxiety lead to feeling overwhelmed
Thoughtful
Intelligent
Problems with boundaries and saying no, which leads to a feeling of overwhelm and shutting down and ignoring the world and everyone in it
Struggling to communicate your own needs and putting yourself last.
Deep thinker
Funny
Kind
Independent
Altruistic Being able to watch entire films in your head after watching them a few times, music albums are the same too.
This list is by no means a full list of the autistic experience, but it gives you an insight into what it could feel like to be autistic if you’re ticking these boxes, if you have a child or a family member who’s autistic, autism runs in families, and you may be autistic too. Just remember, if you’re autistic, you’re not weird or defective you simply process the world differently from others. The world would be so boring if we were all the same. Autistic and neurodivergent minds are the thinkers, the dreamers, and the people who come up with weird and wonderful ways to get tasks done that neurotypicals would never come up with. Being different isn’t a bad thing; it's how we are made to feel when we’re different.
If you’re in The UK and would like to explore the possibility of a diagnosis, I can highly recommend RTN, which provides a fully recognised assessment for both autism and ADHD – https://www.neurodiversity-training.net/a/2147506643/mrGdwYKC
If you’re an adult and you’re outside of the UK, I can offer a fast-tracked consultation service that will give you a solid, yes, and you are or, no, you’re not autistic answer. This route isn’t recognised by the NHS or healthcare providers but comes with coaching and support pre and post-consult. Contact me here for more info.
Nicky Collins, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Nicky Collins, The Autism Coach, is a champion for autistic women and girls. It is her belief that every woman and girl deserves to be proud of who they are and not frightened or fearful. Nicky spent 34 years not knowing she is autistic; this revelation empowered her to use her personal development skills and passion for helping others, into a business that encourages and emboldens autistic women and girls to step into an authentic version of their autistic self. Nicky is a globally recognised motivational speaker, coach, and transformation leader, whose work has touched the lives of many families across the world. Born on the outskirts of London, Nicky now lives in Derbyshire with her teenage son, cat, and two guinea pigs. Location isn’t an issue for Nicky as she conducts the majority of her work online through 121 client sessions, individual calls, and group coaching programs. Nicky is on a mission to challenge the misconceptions and stigmas around autism and what she considers her superpower.
