Written by Eva Benmeleh, Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Eva Benmeleh focuses on the multifaceted impact of perfectionism on individuals and their relationships. She is a clinical psychologist in private practice, educator on maternal mental health and perfectionism, and author of the book Sun and Moon Love Cloud: A book about divorce.
In a world overflowing with distractions, the notion of attention as our ultimate currency becomes increasingly relevant. Unlike money, time is a currency we spend without knowing our balance. This makes how we allocate our attention a critical decision—one that decides the trajectory of our lives.
As Dr. Joe Dispenza wisely puts it, "Where we place our attention is where we place our energy." This statement underscores the powerful role attention plays in shaping our experiences. Whether in relationships, careers, or personal growth, the focus of our attention directly influences our outcomes.
Focusing attention on one task at a time can be challenging because it requires you to prioritize not just your desires, but also your core needs. This task goes beyond mere action—it forces you to confront questions of identity. Who am I when I choose to focus on this over that? What do my choices and the way I live my life reveal about who I am? Am I truly aligned with my intentions? What am I giving my attention to? Does my life reflect the vision I have for it, or are there areas that feel unclear, incomplete, or chaotic? And most importantly, what steps will I take to address these discrepancies?
The cost of how we choose to pay attention
Language reveals how deeply embedded the concept of attention is in our daily lives. In English, we "pay" attention, a phrase that highlights the transactional nature of this act. When we focus on a person, situation, or goal, we are essentially signing a check, dedicating our finite resources—time and energy—towards that focal point. This means that by choosing to pay attention to one thing, we are simultaneously deciding not to spend those resources on something else.
According to Sheena Iyengar, “choice is more than picking 'x' over 'y.' It is a responsibility to separate the meaningful and the uplifting from the trivial and the disheartening. It is the only tool we have that enables us to go from who we are today to who we want to be tomorrow.”
This idea can be extended to multitasking, a common practice in our fast-paced society. When we often spread our attention thinly across multiple tasks, we dilute our energy and diminish the quality of our focus. This leads to frustration, a sense of dissatisfaction with our results, and often, burnout. The root of this problem lies in a lack of clarity about our intentions. Without a clear understanding of why we are doing what we do, paying attention becomes an arduous task. And taking it a step deeper, the murkiness around our intentions reflects the murkiness around our identity.
In reality, multitasking does not exist. What our brains are doing is something called task switching. This means that our brains are actually switching focus from one task to the next ever so quickly that it seems like we are focusing on various things simultaneously, but realistically, there is a drag and lapse of energy as the brain jumps from one thing to the next.
David Meyer, the director of the Brain, Cognition, and Action Laboratory at the University of Michigan, is a leading authority on multitasking in the United States. His research reveals that multitasking can slash productivity by up to 40% due to the mental blocks it creates. To put this into perspective, losing 40% of your time, energy, and focus is akin to working with one hand tied behind your back. Without integrating moments of mindful presence, this loss can spiral into physical, emotional, and mental burnout, manifesting as headaches, increased errors, emotional outbursts, and unhealthy coping mechanisms. While multitasking might seem like a strategy to accomplish more, it can, in reality, be a subtle form of self-sabotage, undermining your path to success.
The challenge of focus
Learning to direct our attention purposefully is not for the faint of heart. It requires a deep commitment to understanding the true cost of our focus. This realization can be jarring, like a "whiplash of truth." We must confront our fears and decide to redirect our energy toward our desires.
Sometimes this requires a leap of faith that doing so will lead us in the right direction. Getting to know yourself is key to focusing your attention on what you want from life. Many people believe that this in itself is an arduous process, but it doesn’t need to be. Support systems, whether through community, mentors, therapists, coaches, or self-reflection, play a crucial role in this process. No need to reinvent the wheel when you can ask for guidance from others who have been there, done that, and successfully turned their lives around.
The human mind has an extraordinary capacity to create endless scenarios and outcomes, often leading us to act from a place of fear rather than certainty. However, by pausing to pay attention to how we approach one aspect of our lives, we can begin to make subtle yet profound changes across the board. This shift requires us to move beyond our ego's instinctual drive to protect us from perceived dangers, allowing us to act from a place of confidence and intention.
Attention as a reversible transaction
Interestingly, the concept of attention as a currency is even more explicit in other languages. In Spanish, the phrase "prestar atención" translates to "lend attention." This linguistic nuance suggests that attention is something that can be temporarily given and then returned. It implies a more fluid understanding of attention, where energy is loaned to a person or situation for a set amount of time before being reclaimed.
This perspective is empowering. It reminds us that while our attention is valuable, it is not irrevocably lost once given. We can choose to withdraw our focus and redirect it as needed. This flexibility can help us better manage our energy and ensure that we are investing our attention in the places that truly matter. What we soon discover is that a lot of what we were spending our attention did not serve us well. When we shift the direction of focus and place it on ourselves, we begin to create this infinite loop of invest, spend, reinvest in ourselves, and allow the opportunity to impact those around us.
The everyday value of attention
Next time you embark on a task, project, or interaction, consider this: your attention is like money. How much are you willing to spend? Are you investing wisely, or are you scattering your resources without much thought? By viewing attention as a precious commodity, we can become more intentional about where we direct our focus. This shift in perspective not only boosts our productivity but also enriches our overall quality of life.
In conclusion, attention is indeed our ultimate currency. How we spend it defines our experiences, shapes our realities, and determines our success. By understanding the true value of our focus, we can make more deliberate choices, ensuring that our energy is directed toward the things that matter most.
Practical tips for managing attention
1. Set clear intentions
Before engaging in any activity, ask yourself why it matters. Clarity of purpose helps direct your attention more effectively, so get specific. Why does it matter to you, in this moment, in this way? What outcomes or goals are you looking to accomplish through this task?
2. Limit multitasking
Focus on one task at a time to maximize your energy and improve the quality of your work. Set filters on your phone and computer. Clear out your workspace if necessary. Be intentional with breaks. You may need to start in segments and build up to longer time periods.
3. Take breaks
Regularly withdraw your attention to recharge and refocus. This ensures that your energy remains high and your mind stays sharp.
4. Reflect on outcomes
After completing a task, reflect on whether the outcome aligns with your intentions. This helps reinforce purposeful attention.
5. Take ownership of your emotions
Assess how it feels to disconnect from loved ones or other activities for the sake of pursuing your purpose and goals.
By mastering the art of paying attention, we gain control over our most valuable
resources—time and energy—and ultimately, our lives.
Read more from Eva Benmeleh
Eva Benmeleh, Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Eva Benmeleh focuses on the multifaceted impact perfectionism on individuals and their relationships. She is a clinical psychologist in private practice, educator on maternal mental health and perfectionism, and author of the book Sun and Moon Love Cloud: A book about divorce. She is committed to unraveling the polarities in pefectionism integrating the striving for personal growth with harmoious flow. She is committed to working with individuals open to compassionate yet astute feedback, expanding their awareness and making profound changes to the quality of their lives.
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