Written by Jan Bailey, Communication and Speaking Coach
Jan Bailey is a seasoned communication and public speaking trainer specializing in leadership presence, clear communication and confident presenting. Fascinated by the reluctance most people have around speaking up, speaking out and speaking in front of others, Jan set out to change the way people think about public speaking and presenting.
You’ve finally worked up the courage to volunteer to deliver a presentation, or you’ve started jumping into the dialogue in meetings – good for you, that’s great news. But something strange started happening; once you started talking, you couldn’t seem to stop! Whether it sounds like long-winded circles, meandering around in the weeds, or some information loop caught on repeat, you recognize the problem but seem powerless to stop it.
You are not alone. As crazy as it sounds, this is something I hear frequently from clients in my communication training business. From entrepreneurs to executives, there are common communication struggles and ‘how do I wrap up my talk’ is definitely one of them.
Years ago, when I worked in live television the best advice I ever got was know your opening ‘cold’ and know exactly how you’ll get off camera. That advice still holds true and, oddly, many people who claim they’re uncomfortable with public speaking say one of their biggest problems is they don’t know how to stop talking. In fact, clients share that they’re very much aware they’re repeating themselves, the audience is losing interest, or they’ve gone way too deep into the weeds, but they’re compelled to keep talking until they fizzle out with a mumbled …”and that’s it.” It's not exactly a powerful and inspiring close.
You know you do it. Let’s ask why you do it so we can find some solutions to help.
Granted, you’re likely nervous when you’re speaking, just like everyone else, and that might be the first and most obvious reason that you get stuck on repeat. There are several strategies to wrangle your overactive adrenalin response and I recommend you check out my article – Is Speaking in Front of Others Stressing You Out? The Top 3 reasons to relax with the least used, best strategy there is – for a reminder.
The good news is that simply taking 3 big breaths can calm you enough that you feel like your brain is cooperating. The other good news is that you’ll always be nervous to some degree. Remember, that’s good news because it demonstrates you’re invested in the outcome, you care about your success, and you truly want your audience to be engaged in your talk.
If it’s not just nerves – what’s happening?
The top three reasons you struggle to wrap up your talk
1. You want to tell them everything
Experts in any field are smart, often passionate people and that can be a challenge. Let me explain. At an event I attended not long ago, I didn’t know the man standing next to me and so I struck up a conversation to change that. Through the course of the conversation, his company name came up and because I wasn’t familiar with it, I asked him what he did (please notice that I didn’t lead with that question!). Well, to say he was excited about the work his company did would be an understatement. That’s a good thing, right?
In this case – Wrong:
Our conversation immediately went from a dialogue to a monologue
He made no attempt to build knowledge bridges, he assumed I understood his specialty?
Not once did he ask me a question to gauge my interest or understanding
He didn’t stop until I cut him off.
Knowledge and passion are certain attributes, but when you simply dump everything you know in one conscious stream on your audience – you’ll likely find they’re a lot less engaged than you want them to be.
At this point, you’re saying – yes, Jan, but – your example is a conversation, and we’re talking about presentations where someone has asked me to share my knowledge. True, but the concept is the same. When you forget about what your audience knows, needs or has asked for and just download everything on them, that doesn’t qualify as an effective presentation. Your passion and knowledge are a great thing, but both need to be shared at the level of your audience.
How do you gauge this? Know your audience as well as you can before you present and ask yourself these three questions:
What level of knowledge do they have right now?
What level of knowledge do they want or require?
How can I best deliver my information to help them obtain that level of knowledge?
2. You’re waiting for feedback you’re not getting
Whether we’re speaking to an audience of one person or one hundred, our brain is looking for feedback; are we on the right track, are people paying attention, are we answering what’s been asked, does this make sense to people… You get the idea. When we don’t get feedback to answer those questions in our mind, what do we do? We keep talking.
In its simplest form, here’s how this looks. Someone asks you a question about your work, and you start explaining and explaining. You keep talking because you’re waiting for them to demonstrate in some way that they understand or their question has been answered; you need them to nod or to say something like – okay, that makes sense, I get it. That seems to make sense, or does it?
Here's the problem with that:
They don’t know what feedback you’re looking for! – ie, the nod or the okay, I get it!
and
You don’t pause long enough for them to offer it!
and
You don’t ask – have I answered your question? Is this the answer you were looking for? Does this give you the information you need?
Can you see how that might be a problem and why it causes you to keep talking?
You’re the speaker, it’s your job to check for understanding. Stop and check in with your audience so you know if you need to offer some foundational knowledge, go down a different path or stop talking.
3. I don’t know how to wrap it up
Here’s a visual image for this challenge. You think you’re trapped in a room. The strange thing about it is that there are many, many doors in this room. Some are small, some are big, some are colourful, some are sticky, some look new and a few seem quite old. Around and around you walk in this room with so many different doors that you simply refuse to try.
That’s what you’re doing as you wander aimlessly around the end of your talk looking for the perfect ending. Just pick one. Pick one door and try the knob so you can exit to somewhere else!
Does that image feel familiar? I bet it does.
How do I pick an exit?
Say it aloud. I’m very passionate about my topic and could go on, but I’ll stop there. Any questions?
Use your Call to Action. There is certainly more we could discuss, but here’s what I want you to know or do after today… Here is where you say that ‘thing’ in one sentence and then stop talking.
Tie the end to the beginning. When you began this talk or presentation, you had a goal to share, teach or inform your audience about something. To wrap it up, simply re-state that goal. “My goal, today, was to…, and I’m pleased to have been able to share that with you. Thank you.”
Remember, effectively wrapping your talk takes practice. You might find the language feels a bit clunky the first few times you try and exit option, but you’re practising and trying to discover which path to the exit works best for you. Ultimately, you may find you merge some exits or use different options in different scenarios. The goal is to use at least one, so you develop the skill to wrap up and stop talking. Have faith, you will get better at this, and you’ll soon feel like you can wrap up a talk smoothly, effortlessly, and with impact.
As a communication trainer specializing in public speaking and presenting, I work with people at all levels of business to improve their confidence in all speaking and presenting scenarios whether they are planning the beginning or the ending of a talk.
For more simple strategies and easy to apply tips, follow me on Instagram, connect with me, Jan Bailey on LinkedIn or reach out via my website. I’d be delighted to help you give yourself or your team the gift of clear, confident communication; every time you speak.
Jan Bailey, Communication and Speaking Coach
Jan Bailey is a seasoned communication and public speaking trainer specializing in leadership presence, clear communication and confident presenting. Fascinated by the reluctance most people have around speaking up, speaking out and speaking in front of others, Jan set out to change the way people think about public speaking and presenting. More laughter and less lecture, more personality and less powerpoint and a whole lot more confidence means professionals at all levels are more effective communicators. A dynamic speaker, an engaging facilitator and an insightful coach, Jan genuinely believes in the power of effective communication to change lives; personally and professionally.
