Sassi Ochoa, a CIJ clarity catalyst and transformational trainer, embraces her purpose of service-driven living. Through various roles as a blogger, coach, runner and wanderlust enthusiast, she embodies diverse forms of leadership, inspiring others to explore their own paths of empowerment.
Making mistakes is an essential part of growth and innovation, yet many people avoid them out of fear. Embracing errors as opportunities to learn and improve can unlock your full potential and lead to greater success.
“The most valuable thing you can make is a mistake. You can't learn anything by being perfect.” -Adam Osborne
In this section of Brainz Magazine dedicated to leadership, I've explored themes like motivation, service, inspiration, and success. However, despite wanting to discuss failure, I've hesitated, believing it might not align with the core message of this space.
If I may, I'd like to take this opportunity, with learning just around the corner, to address the topic of failure not from the standpoint of overcoming it, but from the perspective of accepting it, of allowing it to happen, and of giving it a rightful place in our journey of both internal and external leadership. Many have already written books and guides on how to deal with failure. I simply intend to honor it as an essential part of any process.
Mistakes and failures are not the same
In today’s society, a society that glorifies "success" we often feel that failure is something to be punished for. If we aren't condemned externally, we find ways to punish ourselves for our results.
Before we explore what arises in us when we face mistakes and failures, let's define them.
A mistake is an act that deviates from or fails to achieve what was intended. The Royal Academy of Language defines failure as "a lack of success or an adverse outcome."
Therefore, a series of repeated mistakes may ultimately lead to failure. We all understand the concept of failure and acknowledge the importance of adverse results in improving our processes—that is clear. However, the truth is that the experience of failure is the part we would most like to skip in the script of our lives. Society, in its desire to protect us from failure at all costs, has devised protocols to prevent it. Worse still, today’s gurus in various fields try to sell us the illusion of instant success, bypassing the dreaded dark passage of failure, as easily as ordering from Uber or Amazon.
X-ray of failure
From my perspective, the root of the pain is our expectations, and confronting failure means facing our deepest fears and the self-sabotage that stifles the creative genius within us, much like Elizabeth Gilbert describes in her book Big Magic Creative Living Beyond Fear:
"You fear that you have no talent.
You fear that you will be rejected, criticized, ridiculed, misunderstood, or worse, ignored.
You fear there is no market for your creativity and therefore there is no point in pursuing it.
You fear you can do what has already been done before and is better.
You fear that everyone else has done it before and better.
You fear that someone will steal your ideas, so it seems safer to keep them hidden.
You fear that you will not be taken seriously.
You fear that your work is not politically, emotionally, or artistically important enough to change anyone's life.
You fear that your dreams are something to be ashamed of.
You fear that one day when you look back, your artistic endeavors will seem like a gigantic waste of time. time, money, and effort.
You fear not having the necessary discipline.
You fear don’t have the necessary work availability, financial independence, or free time to focus on inventing or exploring.
You fear don’t have the necessary training or qualifications.
You fear being too fat. (I don't know if that has anything to do with creativity exactly, but experience has taught me that almost all of us are afraid of being too fat, so just in case, let's include it on the list of fears.)
You fear being seen as an outsider, a fool, a dilettante, a narcissist.
You fear upsetting your family with what you might reveal to them.
You fear what your peers and colleagues might say if you speak your truth out loud.
You fear giving free rein to your inner demons and have no desire to confront them.
You fear having already given your best.
You fear having nothing left to give.
You fear having neglected your creativity for so long that you can't get it back.
You're afraid of being too old to start.
You're afraid of being too young to start.
You're afraid that since you've already done well in one thing in life, you won't be able to do well in another.
You're afraid that since you've never done well in anything, why bother? You're afraid of being a leg-spinner.
Listen, I don't have all day, so I'm going to stop listing fears. In any case, it's an endless list, and depressing. So I'll sum it up like this: Fear, Fear, and more fear.
It's all so fucking scary."
Why don’t we like to deal with failure?
Our belief system teaches us that only favorable or exceptional results are rewarded—that we must stand out, give our best, and value only achievements. We’re led to believe there’s no celebration if we don’t get what we want. Rarely are we encouraged to embrace failure, except by a few authors who seek to redeem it in their writings. I recommend John C. Maxwell’s book, Failing Forward.
It’s time to relegate that traditional concept of success to the archives because it’s a fraud—especially when it comes to our mental and emotional health.
Our culture is one of “preparing for failure,” not of embracing it. This pseudo-preparation causes us to delay facing failure, even though we know it’s inevitable.
“The essence of man is imperfection. Know that you're going to make mistakes. The fellow who never makes a mistake takes his orders from one who does. Wake up and realize this: Failure is simply a price we pay to achieve success.” -John C. Maxwell
If you’re ready to embrace your success and failure as a leader in your organization with humbleness and emotional intelligence, I invite you to enroll in my Leadership workshop.
Read more from Sassi Ochoa
Sassi Ochoa, Mindfulness & Transformational Coach
Sassi Ochoa combines 15 years of successful experience in the insurance sales industry with 5 years of holistic leadership experience, spanning both professional and personal domains.
Committed to providing Latin people with the same transformative educational opportunities she has experienced translated Stanford University's prestigious CIJ Clarity Catalyst program into Spanish during the 2020 pandemic, facilitating it in her community's mother language since then. Additionally, she created the virtual workshop "Leadership is written with H", designed to connect managers and collaborators with their commitment, emotional competences, and the significance of teamwork.
