Written by Jen Hamilton, Conscious-Life Coach
Jen Hamilton is a renowned Conscious-Life Coach specialising in clinical hypnotherapy, past life regression therapy, NLP, and empowerment events. As a number one best-selling author, the host of the enLIFEned podcast, she inspires others to achieve liberation, fulfillment, and pleasure through deep inner transformation and awakening.
Have you ever felt like you're caught in a battle with yourself when you’re both the one holding the gun and you’re the target? You’re dodging your own bullets of self-doubt, negative self-talk, fear, and self-sabotage, but at the same time, you’re also wearing a safety vest of temporary fixes and coping mechanisms. The chaotic dance of pushing forward and pulling back, aiming for your dreams one moment, yet ducking for cover the next. This inner warfare keeps you stuck in cycles of frustration and exhaustion and constantly questioning why you can’t break free.
But what if the only enemy on the battlefield is you? What if the weapon in your hands is your own doing, and the bullets flying at you are the ones that you shot? It’s time to put the gun down, stop running and dodging the firing line, and step off the battlefield. Let’s explore how to recognise when you’re in this self-imposed battle and, more importantly, how to reclaim your power, heal the wounds, and walk forward through life unarmed, liberated, and free.
The weapon: Taking aim at yourself
There is going to be a moment of realisation that you’re the only one holding the gun and that you’re also the target. This moment is one of profound awareness and invites the opportunity to explore why you were aiming at your own potential and dreams in the first place. The inner conflict is usually fueled by self-criticism, doubt, and fear that has been sitting in your subconscious mind, originating from past conditioning, unmet needs, and pressure you’ve put on yourself to be something you’re not. You’ll be able to recognise that you’re against yourself when you take a moment to pause and listen to the inner dialogue. Is it kind, supportive, and uplifting? Or is it harsh, critical, and judgemental? It’s only once you notice the repetitive thoughts and the unrelenting and self-defeating dialogue that you can stop it in its tracks and change the narrative.
Recognizing this inner weaponry allows you to understand that these thoughts and beliefs were never yours to begin with; they were inherited, absorbed, or developed as misguided attempts to protect yourself. But what once served as a shield has now turned into a weapon aimed at your own heart. This is the pivotal moment where you can choose to lower the gun–to stop fighting against your own potential and start reclaiming your power. By becoming the observer of your inner world, you can dismantle the narratives that no longer serve you and rewrite them into ones that nurture your true self. This shift isn’t about denying your past but about transforming your inner dialogue from one of self-destruction to one of self-compassion and empowerment.
The inner saboteur: Unpacking the self-inflicted wounds
Not only are you the one holding the weapon, but you’re also the target running across the field. We unknowingly become our worst enemies when we engage in self-sabotaging behaviours like negative self-talk, perfectionism, procrastination and putting overly high expectations on ourselves. These act as the bullets we aim at ourselves and keep us feeling stuck and defeated. We fire these shots repeatedly, often without realising the damage they cause, eroding our confidence, chipping away at our self-worth and keeping us trapped in a cycle of self-defeat. Each critical thought, moment of self-judgement and unreachable expectation becomes another wound and another reason to doubt ourselves. We get caught in the relentless battle, running from the very things we create and become exhausted from dodging the self-inflicted blows. The inner saboteur thrives on fear and control, convincing us that these behaviors are protective when, in reality, they are the very chains that bind us. Recognizing these patterns is the first step in disarming the weapon and beginning the healing process.
The safety vest: Stepping out of your own firing line
The quick fixes, coping mechanisms and avoidance tactics that we use to protect ourselves from our own self-inflicted damage become our ‘safety vest’. It's what we arm ourselves with when we are in battle with ourselves, and instead of consciously putting the weapon down, we go into self-protective mode. We wear this safety vest made of denial, distractions, and temporary comforts—like numbing with food, scrolling endlessly on social media, staying busy to avoid our thoughts, or clinging to perfectionism to feel in control. These protective layers give us the illusion of safety, but they do nothing to stop the bullets from flying. Instead, they keep us stuck in survival mode, avoiding the deeper work of healing and transformation. The vest may dull the impact, but it doesn’t prevent the wounds; it only prolongs the pain. True liberation comes not from shielding ourselves but from courageously facing what we’ve been running from, removing the vest, and stepping out of our own firing line once and for all.
Disarm and liberate: Stepping out of your own firing line
The transformative part is the moment you put your weapon down, take off the vest, and graciously walk away from the battlefield, feeling neither defeated nor that you won the battle. The true prize is becoming liberated from your own wounding with the awareness to create harmony and peace within your mind moving forward. The healing begins with self-awareness, self-compassion, and self-love, and instead of losing yourself in what it is you don’t want to experience, you create yourself with conscious awareness of what you do want to experience. Reclaiming your personal power with intention and purpose will have you feeling like you’ve stepped into a new realm of existence–one where you are no longer at war with yourself but are your own greatest ally. This newfound freedom allows you to see yourself with clarity, without the weight of judgment or fear holding you back. You begin to rewrite your narrative, choosing thoughts, actions, and beliefs that support your highest self. Each moment of conscious choice becomes a brick in the foundation of your liberated life, where you no longer dodge bullets but walk confidently in your truth. Disarming isn’t about forgetting past battles; it’s about honoring your journey, integrating your lessons, and moving forward with a heart that is open, empowered, and fiercely aligned with your deepest desires.
How to disarm and liberate yourself from self-sabotage and inner conflict:
Practice self-compassion
Begin to treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. Replace self-critical thoughts with compassionate ones, reminding yourself that you’re doing your best with what you know at this moment. Self-compassion disarms the inner critic and softens the harsh judgments that keep you in battle.
Challenge negative beliefs
Identify the limiting beliefs that keep you in a cycle of self-sabotage, such as "I’m not good enough" or "I always fail." Challenge these beliefs by questioning their validity and replacing them with affirmations that align with your true potential. For example, instead of "I can’t do this," try "I am capable and willing to learn."
Set healthy boundaries with yourself
Establish boundaries around negative self-talk, over-committing, and perfectionism. Notice when you’re pushing yourself too hard or falling into old patterns and consciously choose to pause, step back, and prioritize your well-being over self-imposed pressures.
Reframe your inner dialogue
Transform your internal dialogue by catching yourself when you speak harshly or judgmentally. Reframe these thoughts into supportive ones, like shifting “I messed up” to “I’m learning and growing.” This practice gradually disarms the mental weapons you’ve been using against yourself.
Embrace forgiveness
Forgive yourself for past mistakes, perceived failures, and moments of self-sabotage. Recognize that holding onto guilt or regret keeps you tied to the battlefield. Forgiveness is the ultimate disarmament, it allows you to release the past and move forward with grace.
Engage in mindfulness and meditation
Develop a mindfulness practice to help you become aware of your thoughts and emotions without judgment. Meditation can help create space between you and your inner dialogue, allowing you to observe without reacting, which is crucial in stepping out of your own firing line.
Visualize letting go
Use visualization techniques to mentally disarm. Imagine yourself physically putting down a weapon or taking off a heavy vest, symbolizing the release of self-criticism, fear, and old patterns. Visualize yourself stepping away from the battlefield and into a place of peace and empowerment.
Seek support and guidance
Sometimes, disarming your inner saboteur requires external support. Engaging with a therapist, coach, or supportive community can provide guidance, accountability, and fresh perspectives to help you break free from self-imposed limitations.
At the core of all self-sabotage, inner conflict, and self-imposed limitations lie our belief systems. These deeply ingrained beliefs, often shaped by past experiences, conditioning, and unmet needs, operate beneath the surface of our conscious awareness, driving our thoughts, actions, and decisions. They act as the invisible hand that guides our lives, influencing how we see ourselves and what we believe we are capable of achieving. When these beliefs are rooted in fear, self-doubt, and unworthiness, they manifest as the very bullets we fire at ourselves, keeping us stuck in cycles of frustration and self-sabotage.
Breaking through these subconscious beliefs is the key to changing the trajectory of your life. By bringing these hidden patterns into the light of awareness, you can begin to question their validity and reprogram your mind with empowering beliefs that align with your true potential. This process of transformation isn’t about simply thinking positively; it’s about deeply understanding and rewriting the narratives that have kept you in your own firing line. When you shift these foundational beliefs, everything changes. You reclaim your personal power, make choices that serve your highest self, and step confidently into a life of liberation, fulfillment, and purpose.
Ready to break free?
If you’re ready to break free from the subconscious beliefs that have been holding you back, booking a session with me can be the catalyst for your transformation. Together, we will explore the depths of your inner world, identify the beliefs that no longer serve you, and alchemize them into empowering new truths. It’s time to step out of your own firing line, put down the weapon, and create a life that reflects your highest potential. Click the link below to begin your journey to liberation and self-discovery.
Read more from Jen Hamilton
Jen Hamilton, Conscious-Life Coach
Jen Hamilton is a conscious life coach, clinical hypnotherapist, and women’s empowerment mentor dedicated to empowering people to awaken their inner alchemy. Her mission is to help people discover their inner world so their outer world reflects their true selves. Jen's work combines science-driven techniques and spirituality, creating a powerful synergy that initiates deep transformation, fostering self-love, and guiding people to a purpose-driven life filled with fulfilment and growth.
