With a master's degree and a wealth of personal experience, she guides women through radical self-evolution using innovative, holistic approaches. Sherisse's unique methodology, born from overcoming her own adversities, focuses on forging indestructible embodiment and authentic empowerment.
This message is not for the faint-hearted and may be triggering for some, though that is not the intention. The purpose is to spark awareness, encourage reflection, and inspire action. Everyone experiences hardship at some point in life, but the key is not to settle there permanently. Many, however, have unknowingly built their lives in a place that feels familiar and safe: Victimhood Lane.
When individuals go through trauma or adversity, it is natural to find themselves in this space. Some may need time there as they seek support and healing. However, there are those who, despite having the capacity to move forward, remain. Some even establish their lives there, constructing mansions in a space meant for temporary healing rather than long-term residence. Why do they stay? Because it feels like home. It mirrors the experiences of their past, the environments they were raised in, or the narratives they have come to accept as truth. This is a visual representation of being "stuck" in survival mode. The feeling of being stuck evokes the sense of being a victim of one’s life.
It is important to acknowledge that remaining in a victim mentality by choice is vastly different from staying there due to trauma. While circumstances can shape experiences, personal choice ultimately determines whether someone continues to live in that mindset. Many have demonstrated that it is possible to shift perspectives, including those who have used their pain as a catalyst for transformation.
Raising awareness around this subject is essential. Below are common behavioral patterns found in individuals who have adopted a victim mentality. If two or more resonate, seeking support may be beneficial:
Blame-shifting: Frequently attributing problems to external factors or other people, avoiding personal responsibility.
Passive aggression: Using indirect means like sarcasm, sulking, or procrastination instead of openly expressing emotions.
Self-pity: Dwelling on misfortunes, often exaggerating challenges while downplaying personal capabilities.
Learned helplessness: Believing there is no control over life circumstances, leading to inaction.
Attention-seeking: Amplifying struggles to gain sympathy or validation from others.
Negativity: Consistently focusing on what is wrong while overlooking positive aspects or opportunities.
Refusal of help: Seeking attention yet rejecting genuine support, preferring to stay in a familiar state of struggle.
Comparison: Regularly measuring one’s struggles against others to reinforce a belief of having it worse.
Difficulty in decision-making: Fear of making the wrong choice, often leading to avoidance or reliance on others.
Emotional reasoning: Equating feelings with facts, allowing emotions to dictate reality.
Rigid thinking: Struggling to consider alternative perspectives or solutions.
Chronic complaining: Expressing dissatisfaction without taking proactive steps toward change.
Recognizing these behaviors is the first step toward breaking free. If these traits are evident in someone else, approaching them with empathy while encouraging growth and responsibility is essential.
For those wondering what steps to take next, consider the following ways to move out of Victimhood Lane:
Acknowledge the pain: Every experience is valid, and it is okay to feel hurt. However, staying in that space indefinitely is not necessary.
Shift perspective: Instead of asking, "Why me?" consider asking, "What can be learned from this?"
Take responsibility: While the past cannot be controlled, responses and actions moving forward can be.
Seek support: Surrounding oneself with growth-oriented individuals can be transformative. Professional guidance, mentorship, or community support can provide valuable assistance.
Set goals: Focusing on what is desired, rather than what is being escaped from, creates a sense of direction and purpose.
Practice self-compassion: Progress is not linear, and setbacks are part of the process. Being patient and kind to oneself is crucial.
Leaving Victimhood Lane is not easy. It may feel comfortable in its familiarity. However, staying there perpetuates cycles of pain and stagnation. Moving forward does not mean erasing past experiences – it means refusing to let them dictate the future. It is about reclaiming personal power and choosing growth.
The journey ahead may feel uncertain at times, but it leads to resilience, transformation, and a life lived on one’s own terms. The question remains: Are you ready to pack your bags and explore a new neighbourhood? I hear Abundance Close has an unlimited number of spacious homes with views of the ocean.
We all deserve to thrive, but only you have the power to move. You are not a tree; you have the ability to shift, adapt, and evolve.
Time to shift out of surviving and into thriving.
Podcast: Permission to Shine
Free Workshop: Become The Iconic Leader
Sherisse Bisram, Inner Power Activation Leader + Intuitive Healer
Sherisse is the embodiment of everything she stands for authentic strength, loyalty and empowerment. Although, the journey to get to there did not come easy. Growing up in a volatile household and as a woman of colour in a predominantly white area added understandable hardships and like all young women, Sherisse faced unwanted attention. In addition, she was undermined by society for being outspoken in her opinion rather than playing to the expected norm of being “seen and not heard”. Understandably she was forced to build resilience, and as a result, at 23 she noticed that she had difficulty showing vulnerability and emotions. Sherisse realised that this was not a healthy way to live, with this in mind, she decided to embark upon her own journey of self discovery.
Combining her self evolution, education and life experiences, Sherisse has gained tools that have helped her to release the pain of her past, understand and conceptualise her emotions and regain true authentic strength. These tools, which consist of meditation and mindset work, journaling and mindful movement have shaped her into the empowered confident woman she is today. These practices have had a tremendous impact in her life. Sherisse believes by sharing these tools with others with the incorporation of dance, through her workshops, classes and programs will in turn, help whomever she teaches become the healthiest, happiest and most confident versions of themselves.
