Merrill Isherwood is a life transformation coach who has spent much of her life being of service to others in the corporate world and her personal life. She has an exemplary work ethic and is driven by living a life of integrity, having honesty, kindness, trust, and respect as her core values. Her psychological counseling degree, supported by her accreditation in life coaching, allows her to ensure her clients are suitably supported in transforming their lives. She specializes in body image, lack of self-esteem, overcoming abusive or toxic relationships, finding life direction, forgiveness, and overcoming adversity. To her, a life well lived means making a difference in each person's life that you are fortunate enough to touch, even if only in the smallest way possible.
Merrill Isherwood, Life Transformation Coach
You’re someone with a passion for others, leading you to follow your drive to make the world a better place through your life transformation coaching. Tell us a little about your background and what led you to the point where you are now.
Thank you. I was always a giver – giving of my time, my resources, my advice to others. It started when I was still a young girl, where I was always the one my friends and peers came to when they needed help with a myriad of things – be it friendships, schoolwork, general life situations, encouragement for events or important occasions, inspiration, and motivation.
This continued in the workplace when I was older. Eventually, at the age of 42, I embarked on studying and acquiring a counseling psychology degree which fed my interest in the human mind and workings of the brain. My curiosity was piqued when I started hearing about life coaching, so I read a lot about it over the years but without fully understanding what it entailed.
I was in a very emotionally abusive relationship for many years. During that time and afterward, whilst employed in the private and public sectors as a travel management specialist, I found myself exposed to, and yet again, experiencing traumatic workplace bullying. I could not understand how I so often ended up being on the receiving end of such shocking behavior.
Eventually, I was so broken I took that first courageous step and sought professional help from a psychologist to begin my long personal journey of healing.
I attended a session every two weeks, and it was good to discuss the issues with her. She was friendly, professional, attentive, and clear. Considering her fully booked schedule, considered to be a good psychologist. However, after two years of therapy, I felt stronger, but there was no real understanding of how I could prevent a similar issue from arising again. Was it something I was doing, was it my behavior, what triggered such destructive thought patterns in my mind that I wished I were no longer around? Yes, I was coping better, but there were no actual plans offered on how to stop the bullying or to help me overcome the internal turmoil I was experiencing.
My very core had been turned upside yet again, and I was becoming a mere shell of myself. My self-confidence and lack of self-esteem were lower than ever. This was beginning to affect my work and health, and I felt as though my sanity was being challenged in so many ways that I lost faith that the therapy was working.
I resigned from my job, stopped therapy, and tried to find a new purpose in my life – one I wished desperately could be free of abuse.
Did you succeed in your quest?
I started my own travel advisory firm and a promotional items company, but when it came to approaching people for business, my feelings of worthlessness and lack of confidence won the day, and I could not muster the courage to do what needed to be done.
Purely by chance, with other motives in mind, I attended a coaching session by Mr. Arfeen Khan in mid-November 2019. The rest, as they say, is history. I did my certification through Arfeen, and just before the world changed due to the pandemic, some of us journeyed to Mumbai, India, to attend his conference there for the Incredible You program.
The transformation in me whilst doing the coaching course was one my family nor I expected. With my severely negative view of life, because of my bad experiences in the world and everyone in it, besides my family, we were all amazed that for the first time in over twenty-eight years, there was a slight glimmer of hope in my eyes.
I did further self-study through various coaching companies and re-read copious amounts of my psychology books, ever eager to learn more and more. It reinvigorated my search to know more about the mind and how capable it was of change.
I found myself excited to rise in the mornings, excited to see what the day would bring, excited to seek how I could best use my skills and knowledge to help others. So, to answer your question, yes, through this excitement and a new zest for living, I felt the negativity dissipating and proceeded to move forward with living a more carefree and fulfilled life.
You have a strong passion for helping others who find themselves in toxic relationships, low self-esteem, battling mental health issues, and forgiveness. What does it mean to you, and how important is it to you to be able to share your knowledge to help them overcome their challenges and for you to be a mental health advocate?
Thank you for the question. It is extremely important for me to advocate for greater awareness and understanding of the individuals themselves who are suffering and in the greater communities, so they realize that experiencing mental health issues is no different from someone having a physical ailment.
There is no stigma attached to someone who has broken their ankle or has a migraine, but if someone has a mental illness, there is still so much stigma attached to it, it is debilitating for the sufferer.
No baby, unless due to a traumatic birth defect, is born with a mental illness. There may have been some trauma experienced physically during the pregnancy or childbirth. Likewise, most people with a mental illness have been, or are being exposed, to something traumatic, which has led to the mental health issue.
As an ankle needs to be set to be repaired and given time to heal, so the mind needs to reset to heal. There is no difference. Both need time to recover, investigate what happened to cause the affliction, and assess the length of time required to heal fully.
It is often because emotional trauma is brushed over and not attended to at the time of each traumatic incident that there is further trauma which weakens the functioning of the mind as it has not had time to heal from the previous episode. Many people do not realize what primarily causes a lot of mental illness - it can be worked through, and the mindset changed to overcome the pain and establish ways to prevent it from happening again.
Of all the services you offer, what would you say is the one thing people mostly ask you for help about?
Addiction and unemployment. These are definitely two of the foremost current support areas required for many people. The demand for assistance in these has grown tremendously due to the impact the pandemic has had on the job market. This, unfortunately, can tend to lead to an increase in drinking or drug use to get through these tough times.
Are these also areas you're passionate about?
I am passionate about helping anyone deal with and overcome any life challenges they may be experiencing, so yes, these and people with body image or eating disorder issues learn to forgive themselves and others, overcome grief, and find life direction.
Would you say that these areas of specialization have something in common?
Definitely, they are all results of people not feeling fully accepted, loved, or cared for, or where they have faced bullying or condemnation for not being who someone else wants them to be. This can take the form of the individual being judged, criticized, and/or humiliated, and they impact people in ways most do not realize, often having devastating long-term effects.
What would you say are the most critical areas in which a coach can truly guide and support their client/s?
By guiding them to review events in their lives, from an early age, that could be the root cause of their unhappiness and dissatisfaction with themselves or conduct from others that have impacted them and left indelible impressions on their young minds. Digging deep within helps them understand how badly others’ actions or behaviors affected them and analyze whether their perceptions are accurate or skewed from others’ viewpoints.
Ultimately the coach takes them on a healing journey within their minds that will allow them to see themselves for who they truly are. Through that discovery, they can determine the future they want, with physical action plans to help them achieve their desired outcome.
Q: What would your advice be to someone who has experienced traumatic physical or emotional abuse?
Seek help from a professional – whether a coach, psychologist or psychiatrist. You can recover fully. You can heal. You can live the life you deserve to live where you can be happy and fulfilled.
You mentioned you are becoming more involved in community work. Can you elaborate on that for us?
I have recently started co-hosting a community radio talk show. I am looking to become more involved with doing group coaching within the community to help people help themselves to live better lives through understanding they can change their circumstances and choose their success in life. I have also joined up with a global woman’s club where I hope to collaborate with others to see how we can ensure greater awareness in the global communities on the importance of understanding mental illness and how it forms an integral part of holistic health and wellness.
