Coach Mary Zhang brings a unique blend of professional expertise and personal insight as a fellow ADHDer, Occupational Therapist and Certified ADHD Coach. She is the founder of Hesed ADHD, a stand-out holistic online ADHD Coaching and Occupational Therapy platform dedicated to supporting ADHDers and their loved ones. Through fostering a collaborative approach, she empowers each individual in discovering practical strategies that works best for their unique brain wiring, deepening self-awareness, and advocating for their strengths, all while honoring their diverse life experiences.
Mary Zhang, OT/ADHD Coach | Founder Hesed ADHD
What inspired you to create Hesed ADHD?
For most of my life, I felt stuck in an endless loop of reacting, putting out fires, and sprinting on a treadmill set at maximum speed—all while beating myself up for not meeting impossible expectations. Anxiety and perfectionism consumed me, leading to constant burnout. After years of pushing through, major health concerns and urgent encouragement from family and health professionals finally led me to seek answers. My ADHD diagnosis as an adult was both a relief and a challenge—it explained so much, but I was left wondering: Now what?
Therapy helped me process my diagnosis, heal deeply, and prioritize my well-being—something I had never been taught growing up in a Christian Asian immigrant family and communities where mental health was stigmatized and challenges were often bypassed or suppressed through well-meaning but ill-equipped voices. For the first time, I discovered a kind inner voice—a voice that supported rather than criticized me—and this process began to change everything within.
While therapy was and continues to be deeply healing, it didn’t fully address the daily executive function challenges I was still facing. When ADHD medication trials proved unsuitable for my sensitive system, I discovered ADHD Coaching as a powerful and transformative alternative. ADHD Coaching allowed me to hone my self-awareness, uncover patterns, and shift the mindsets and beliefs that were holding me back. Most importantly, it equipped me with practical tools and strategies tailored specifically to me — ones I discovered and decided for myself, rather than being prescribed by someone else. For the first time, I began navigating my days with purpose and forward momentum. I stopped fighting against my brain and started working with it, learning to advocate for myself and recognizing the vicious cycles of burnout that had defined my life for so long.
Hesed ADHD was born out of my desire to share that transformation with others. I wanted to create a space where ADHDers—especially those navigating cultural, societal, or faith-based barriers—could come as they are, feel seen, understood, and empowered to thrive. At the same time, Hesed ADHD is part of my own ongoing journey. It’s as much about personal growth and community building as it is about creating unique and practical strategies for navigating life with a different brain type. It’s about ensuring none of us feel alone on this path, collaborating with others who are also living with ADHD, sharing insights, and supporting one another as we grow alongside each other.
Hesed ADHD is built on a vision in which ADHDers — and anyone with a different brain type — can lovingly and compassionately discover long-lasting purpose, clear direction, and the ability to thrive in this life. My mission is to help individuals embrace their unique brilliance, thrive without shame, and make a meaningful impact on the world with joy, clarity and inner peace.
What is the difference between Occupational Therapy for ADHD and ADHD Coaching?
Occupational Therapy (OT) and ADHD Coaching complement each other very well, but they approach supporting ADHD from different frameworks and processes.
Occupational Therapy is focused on empowering individuals to engage in the meaningful activities—or “occupations”—that make up their daily lives. For OTs, “occupation” includes anything a person needs or wants to do, from brushing their teeth and cooking a meal to navigating work or building relationships. OTs take a holistic view of the person, considering not only their physical, cultural, and social environments but also their whole being— mind, body, and spirit— and the meaningful activities that bring purpose to their lives.
Through an OT lens, supporting ADHDers often begins by meeting the person where they are, identifying their baseline, and collaboratively setting specific goals. From there, the process involves breaking down overwhelming tasks, addressing sensory or environmental challenges, and experimenting with strategies through trial and error until the right fit is found. This might involve creating routines tailored to an individual’s unique needs or developing functional strategies to manage daily challenges. OT is solution-oriented, analytical, and highly practical, grounded in helping individuals thrive in their daily lives.
ADHD Coaching, by contrast, is a collaborative partnership centered on uncovering an individual’s unique experiences and inner wisdom while expanding self-awareness. Unlike OT, which often involves recommending or providing strategies/solutions from a functional-health-based approach, ADHD Coaching works alongside the individual to explore and discover their own answers. Through reflective listening, targeted questions, and ADHD-informed insights, the coach helps the individual untangle mental blocks, challenge limiting beliefs, and create personalized strategies and action steps aligned with their goals.
A trained ADHD coach trusts that the individual is the expert of their own life. They hold space for the individual’s ideas while providing built-in structure, accountability, and guidance to help move them forward. This process isn’t about being told what to do— it’s about empowering the individual with the tools to better understand themselves, make informed decisions, and create actionable steps that reflect their unique strengths. Coaching is highly action-oriented, helping the individual navigate challenges, set meaningful intentions, and experience long-lasting transformation. Coaches are also trained to notice patterns, themes, and emotions that might be difficult to identify on our own, offering valuable insights to help build a plan that supports an individual’s growth and goals.
While OT and ADHD Coaching differ in their frameworks and approaches, they both share the goal of empowering ADHDers by fostering self-awareness, creating practically and individualized action plans, and supporting the achievement of meaningful goals. Together, they provide creative, compassionate, and personalized support to help ADHDers thrive in meaningful and sustainable ways.
What are some common challenges your clients face, and how do you help them navigate these?
My clients are ambitious, creative, and capable, yet they often feel stuck in cycles of procrastination, perfectionism, paralysis, and overwhelm — eventually leading to burning out. Some of the most common challenges they face include:
Struggling with decision-making, prioritization, and task initiation.
Wanting to build consistent routines without feeling boxed in.
Managing emotional dysregulation, rejection sensitivity, imposter syndrome, and constant negative self-talk or guilt from feeling like they’ve let themselves and others down.
I help my clients navigate these challenges by starting where they are—identifying their baseline—and clarifying where they want to be, their goals and intentions. Together, we learn about their unique brain, uncover their patterns and rhythms, and build self-awareness in a compassionate and non-judgmental way.
Through this process, we examine the barriers that are holding them back and explore possibilities for change. My role isn’t to prescribe a one-size-fits-all solution but to guide in discovering strategies that work with their unique strengths, values, and brain wiring. For example, we might challenge the belief that a task must be done a certain way simply because “it’s always been done that way” or “it’s what I was taught.” By exploring the origins of these beliefs, understanding how it’s serving (or not serving) them, and what alternatives they might create, we open the door to new approaches that align with who they are or want to be.
Habits and routines often look very different for ADHDers. The “21-day rule” or rigid, linear schedules rarely work for us (unless there’s an element of gamification— like not wanting to break a streak— or a strong internal driver tied to a deep purpose). Instead, ADHDers often thrive by finding clarity, purpose, and meaning in what we do. These elements fuel our brains and create the motivation to move forward.
It’s about building internal awareness and embracing how we work—acknowledging our unique internal clock, energy patterns, and rhythms—while clarifying what truly matters. Rather than forcing ourselves into society’s linear boxes, we need to design a life that reflects our needs and goals. This might mean re-examining the concept of “consistent routines”, and in considering the possibility of creating flexible routines/options that adapt to our energy levels, theming days to maintain focus, or making dedicated space for fun and interest (which is literally like fuel for ADHD-brain-engines)— and being creative with it!
As ADHDers, many of us already know the strategies, own all the fancy planners, and could probably deliver a presentation on the latest ADHD tips and tricks. But without clarity about what truly works for our individual needs, we risk staying stuck in cycles of burnout and frustration. That’s why I believe that being able to create space for a curious and kind approach to ourselves is essential. By developing deep self-awareness, setting healthy boundaries, and cultivating self-compassion, we can break free from those cycles and create meaningful, sustainable change.
What advice would you give to ADHDers struggling to manage their day-to-day lives and struggling with burnout?
First, please give yourself permission to work with your brain, not against it. Trying to fit into linear/neurotypical systems will only lead to frustration. Your brain is unique, and that’s not a flaw or a mistake—it’s part of your purpose.
Start small. Identify one area of your life that feels chaotic and experiment with ways to simplify it. What energizes you? What drains you? Build self-awareness by noticing your personal patterns (what I like to call flexing your “interoceptive muscle”). As you probably already know, progress doesn’t come from perfection but from the space created through self-compassion and curiosity.
Take time to celebrate and acknowledge how far you’ve come. This might sound simple or even cliché, but for many ADHDers, including myself, this can be the hardest part. We’re so used to focusing on what we didn’t accomplish or what’s still missing—what Dan Sullivan calls “the Gap” in his book The Gap and the Gain. Shifting to “the Gain” means recognizing the progress you’re making, no matter how small. Each small win matters. These moments of progress are like nuggets of gold, often buried beneath the weight of self-doubt. When we take the time to “dig up” these nuggets, we’re often amazed at how much we’ve actually achieved, how far we’ve come, as well as the many gifts and strengths we can utilize to support our progress moving forward. This is a key aspect to breaking free from burnout cycles.
Lastly, don’t hesitate to seek support. Whether it’s coaching, therapy, or connecting with a supportive community, you don’t have to figure it all out alone. Surround yourself with those who can help you grow—and remember, self-compassion is one of the foundations for meaningful change.
What’s next for Hesed ADHD?
I’m currently working on expanding beyond 1-on-1 coaching to create more easily accessible and affordable tools for ADHDers. I’m currently developing digital resources like ADHD-friendly templates and workbooks that tackle specific topics such as relating to work-life balance, perfectionism, advocating for yourself, and anti-burnout strategies. I’m also planning ADHD-friendly courses designed for both individuals with ADHD and for professionals who work with neurodivergent individuals.
What steps should readers take if they are interested in working together?
If you’re curious about how Occupational Therapy and/or ADHD Coaching could transform your life, I’d love to connect! Please visit my website to learn more about my services or to book a free 45-minute discovery call.
You can also subscribe to my upcoming email list for free resources and updates on exciting new digital tools and resources. Let’s work together to create a life built around you—one that celebrates your ADHD brain’s unique brilliance!
Read more from Mary Zhang
