Written by: Tina Rane' Ingram, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Just hearing the word addiction. Brings chills up my spine. It has taken lives of individuals that I loved. You hear many say addiction only hits and affect only the weak minded. But if you know like I do. That is not true. Many individuals become addicted to certain thing or things. To self-medicate from childhood trauma. To escape the pain and the reality of what has happened to them. Who are we to judge? Because the world in which we live. Many do pass judgement only to make the individual who is suffering and wanting to find relief by telling someone is now suffering in silence. Because of lack of trust amongst people. Some find peace and healing through their spiritual walk. While others can’t take the pain any longer. End up taking their very own lives. Addiction is like chronic disease. Its treatable, preventable. It changes the body and if it goes untreated it can become a lifetime disease.
Allow me to make this clear. Addiction does not only come in the form of alcohol or drugs. But it can also come in the form of shopping, piercings, tattoos, sex, self-mutilation, gambling, and overeating. Just to name a few. You see I was one in which who suffered an addiction. Not to substance nor alcohol. But to tattoos and to pleasing others. Some may say that they are not addictions. Well allow me to explain how they can be an addiction for some. I was the pretty girl with a dark inside. Because of the things I endured as a young girl up into my early adult life.
My relationship with my father was toxic. Which began my broken foundation. So, I wanted to be accepted and loved by people who should have not been allowed into my circle. I would find myself pleasing individuals for the sake of making me feel good about who I was or was not. Even if it meant that I was miserable.
Then when I started to become an adult woman. I would begin dating men who I knew I should have not even entertained. But because I did not know my self-worth. I allowed them in. Only to find myself trying to pick up the broken pieces. You see I was the one who created more pain in my life. Piling pain upon pain. Which eventually started to overflow into other areas of my life. Majority of my pain was from the cause of me due to poor choices in people. Which left me numb and full of pain. Every time I went through something, I thought was traumatic to me. I would go to the tattoo shop. To either receive a tattoo or piercing.
Many did not even know how much pain I was in. Because of the fear of being judged by people I knew and loved. I went to church and no one knew that I would put on a mask hiding it all. To only cover up my pain. Around family and friends. No one knew I would cry myself to sleep at night. I even became a serial dater because I did not want to be alone. To end up feeling alone even during the relationship.
So, addiction has filled many lives. Some were blessed to have escape on the other hand others have not been so blessed. Addiction comes to kill steal and to destroy. As you and I both know. That addiction is not discriminatory against anyone. All shapes and sizes and all demographics. Whatever it can take and overpower it will do just that. Addiction will make you lose everything. From family, employment, self, businesses, and the list can go on.
Some may start off being social. Until it becomes a habit. Where they must have it. By all means necessary. It becomes too powerful for them to handle. Their flesh is willing to stop but their mind is too powerful. Telling them they must have it.
Being addicted is and has been claiming the lives of the young people. Pain has a way in having individuals find comfort in many things. Their life will resemble a whirlwind. According to the Britannica, it stated that the whirlwind has the speed of 40 km per hour (25 miles per hour).
So, imagine your life spinning and spinning. To where you no longer have control. Everything you have worked so hard for is now gone. The life you once had is gone. Your family is gone. Your business is gone. The money in your bank account is now gone.
Addiction is an epidemic claimed many lives and is still claiming. So how do we stop it from hitting our family? By educating and being aware when you witness a family members behavior begins to change. Gathering information. Equipping yourself with knowledge. Find out facilities in the area. Twelve step programs in the area. Don’t judge be that listening ear they will need.
Symptoms to look for are isolation, withdrawn, outburst, under or overactive, repetitive speech pattern, body movement. For example, tongue twitching. Weight loss, defensive, argumentative just to name a few. But don’t allow your loved ones play with your emotions. By playing the guilt trip or blame game with you. When you notice that a loved one is using don’t approach them at first. Once you have the information. Open a dialogue with them. Don’t force the issue. Then allow them to open up. Beware not to fall prey to guilt tripping and or the manipulating you into giving them money. Don’t be fooled into supporting their habits. You may hear. I am going to stop. I promise. To only go find their next high. Or they many even use the excuse of I need food, or my bill is due. If that is the case and you want to assist. Purchase the food for them or pay the bill directly to the bill collector.
When dealing with someone be mindful that addiction comes in many areas in life. Some are dealing or not dealing with childhood trauma. Something they had no control over. Many don’t know how to ask for help or where to start looking for help. Always keep this in the back of your mind. We may not have had the control to stop what was done to us. But we have the control to stop it now and take control back and begin our very own healing.
The hardest thing for someone struggling with addiction is to first admit they have a problem, and they are ready to recover from it. While going through their recovery process they will need a strong support system. If you know that you cannot be that support system be honest with yourself and with them that you can not handle it. Because one thing you don’t want to do is start and then stop in the middle of their process. Its just like you playing basketball running to do a lay up and you stop right before you jump to shoot the ball in the basket.
Your loved one will be doing well then suddenly have a relapse. They need to know that you will be there for them. When they finally commit to living a life f sobriety. Change is a big part of it. Their environment, who you allow into your life. Knowing how to create those healthy boundaries. Removing yourself from people and things that remind you of your addiction. Stressful situation and how you handle those situations. Be mindful that addiction comes in five different stages. Precontemplation, preparation, action, maintenance, and contemplation. So, once again your strong support is much needed. There may be late night calls because they need someone to listen to. Recovery is not only for the individual but its for everyone involved. Recovery is an everyday process. So good days and some bad days. But recovery is worth the process.
Tina Rane' Ingram, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Tina Ingram, is a Certified Life, Trauma, Substance and Alcohol Coach , Author, leader and advocate. She focuses on recovering from trauma. Whether its from childhood or adulthood. Tina understands first hand what it means to recover. She was a victim of domestic violence. A teen mother who had who was lost . But now she is victorious. So now Tina creates a platform for women and youth who needs to recover and heal from life's trauma. After going through many obstacles in life she has vowed to assist other individuals who needs that ear or should to lean on. Tina is the Founder of a non-profit organization for at risk youth of incarcerated parents. She is the owner of On Time Notary, courier and fingerprinting Services , Lady Ingram's boutique and Arise Coaching N Consulting. Where she creates Spiritual and motivational T-shirts. Tina has written and published many self-help books as well a journals, workbook and CD for individuals going through a divorce. She enjoys assisting others who is looking to create and start a business. Tina has a lot of great knowledge about many things and does not mind sharing it. But at the same time she is so humble with it.
