Written by: Belinda Sue Kiser, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
The other day I was out with a friend, and we were chatting as girls do and she says, “Oh, I wish I could just start over, but I honestly don’t know where to begin.” I laughed; it was not that long ago I said that very thing.
One thing I have learned. If you live long enough, you will be faced with the decision of starting fresh. Either by choice or by force. Most of us have a tough time dealing with the mental stress that comes with this type of change.
There are several reasons one may want a fresh start. Can be after a divorce, a death, or a loss of any kind. Or something in your life is not working for you anymore and you want to try something new. These are all good reasons to embark on a ‘fresh start.’ But to talk about it is one thing. Acting on this is more difficult than most of us want to admit.
They say a ‘fresh start’ is good, healthy even, but when you are thrown into it, it never feels good. Most of us struggle to manage it. Even fewer of us make a conscious choice to implement a ‘fresh start’ in our life because it can be so overwhelming to manage. Most of us would rather not deal with the stresses that go with this ‘fresh start.’ But, Does it have to be this way?
I can safely say, no one likes ‘change’ in general, especially drastic changes that forces you to “start fresh.” For example, the loss of a job unexpectedly. This life-altering challenge can rock someone’s world. Especially if you do not see it coming or you ignore the signs that your job was at risk. But isn’t it just human nature to wait until it hits us like a brick? Then after we trip and fall over ourselves trying to manage, struggling with what we need to do next. Leaving us to pray we get through it sooner than later. Yeh, I been there.
Managing a ‘fresh start’ can be a bit intimating if not right out scary. Especially if this is your first time around this corner. But what if you had a recipe to follow. A guideline where you can embark on this ‘fresh start,’ with specific steps to offset all the stresses that come with starting fresh. A recipe that can direct you and help you focus on areas that are the most important to you. Would that ‘fresh start’ be less intimating?
I remember the first time I was forced to start fresh. I was twenty-eight and going through an ugly divorce. I was working full-time and going to school part-time. If this was not enough, I was a single mom to a spirited 10-year-old boy. Then one day out of the blue, I lost everything in a massive flood. I was struggling with change anyway over my divorce. When without warning, I was thrust into having to ‘start fresh.’ I had no choice but to pick up the pieces of what was left in my life and work on moving forward.
Some thirty-five years later it all feels like a bad dream. But I remember that time and those struggles well. That flood incident would be only one time out of three when the struggles of life flipped my world upside down and I was faced with starting fresh. That first experience taught me some valuable lessons that I carry even today. For one a ‘fresh start’ does not have to be a bad thing.
Yes, I have started over many times in my life and a couple of times by my own choice. Having the control to implement a ‘fresh start’ in your own life, instead of being forced into it, is a liberating feeling. It is so true practice does make perfect. Before long, starting fresh is like wearing an old hat. You are comfortable anytime this type of change presents itself. One can even look forward to the new adventures a ‘fresh start’ always bring. This excitement and new experiences will open all kinds of new doors. The rewards can be grand. Soon you are managing this new phase in your life with a newfound strength that is noticeable.
You learn what works and what does not work. Your attitude goes from uncertainty to self-assuredness. Which is huge to your mental state. Our attitude plays a major influence on how we mentally manage major changes in our life. After a time, you can move through the cycle of starting fresh with a stand of self-insurance that is hard to crumble.
I like to think our life struggles are much easier to mentally manage if we have a plan. A straightforward guide or a recipe to focus on specific steps that will bring out the best outcome. Most life challenges can be resolved easily with the right ingredients moving forward. Like when we want to make our favourite cake, we follow a recipe.
So let us look at your ‘fresh start’ as a recipe. Your intent, what you want, and your goals can help you bring together the right ingredients one needs to achieve the best outcome for that ‘fresh start.’
Breaking it down like this does make it all less intimating.
Like any good recipe, you must put the right ingredients together to achieve the outcome you want.
Think of this recipe for a ‘Fresh Start’ as a guideline that we can mentally manage as we embark on this new phase of life. It also does not matter if this ‘fresh start’ occurs by chance or by choice. This recipe helps us to focus on the specific ingredients which we need to make that ‘fresh start’ the best it can be.
This recipe I created can be tweaked to match anyone's needs. You may want to add more laughter to the blend or more patience. Make it yours. This recipe allows us to put our focus on the areas we need to pay attention to the most. Which offers us the confidence to manage the steps as we need to make that ‘fresh start’ work for us. With as little stress as possible.
A Recipe for A Fresh Start
5 cups of Strong Intent
5 cups of Focus Small Goals
4 cups of Patience
3 cups of Strong Will
4 tablespoons of Courage
3 tablespoons of Laughter
1 cup of What’s Important!
(Leaving out what is not.)
3 cups With Love
5 cups of Persistence
Start with a Strong Intent, then add Focus on small goals and gently stir together. Then add Patience and mix in Strong Will. Do not forget to add Courage and be sure to mix in Laughter to balance the blend. The task is not complete till you add ‘What’s Important.’ Be sure to remove what is not. Let the mixture sit for a spell and gently rise. Bake With Love and then cover with Persistence.
Helpful hints:
Strong intent is the ‘acting on’ of small goals one set to achieve a specific outcome. Taking baby steps is always better than making large strides. Know right off the bat you will need Strong Will and Courage, adding Laughter helps when the road gets difficult. Be sure to mix in “What is Important” and “Let go of what is not.” Your love will make it strong. If you are persistent in time your ‘fresh start’ will be all it should be. (Adding extra Laughter is the key to faster success.)
“When the winds of change blow, some people build walls and others build windmills.” — Chinese Proverb
Belinda Sue Kiser, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Belinda Kiser has a passion for many things in her life. Her writing and poetry bring great joy. But her most rewarding passion is the non-profit organization she created to save her hometown in Green Spring, WV. With goals to bring new commerce and economic growth to her community, she started the Green Spring Kitchen and Thrift. Part of this organization's mission is the advocacy work she does locally to help preserve the future of a local historical landmark that is a lifeline to her hometown. Her motto. Making Green Spring Better-One Step at a Time is the driving force that keeps Belinda striving to make changes that will enhance the local's lives of a dying Railroad community with a 200-year rich history. Her dream to see her community thriving is her main focus.
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