Written by: Anton Broers, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Do you want to release anger and frustration and bring more calm and peace in your life? There is something you should know about what causes these negative and unhelpful emotions. We can learn to be calm and peaceful irrespective the circumstances. We have the power to take control over how we feel.
Read how inspiration is so much more powerful than information. Be inspired by one of the big wisdom lessons I learned and learn a proven technique that will help you to release anger, disappointment, and frustration and bring calm and peace instead.
The power of inspiration
When I was four years old, my school career started at kindergarten with a lot of play. When I was six years old, things started to get more serious. It was time to learn to read and write and to do math. Over the years, more subjects were added like history, geography, biology and later on I also learned foreign languages, physics, chemistry, economics. I took in big amounts of information and passed various tests. At eighteen, I graduated from Dutch ‘high school’ and I chose to go to university to study business economics. I processed and re-produced even bigger amounts of information to pass my bachelor's and receive my master’s degree. My regular education in various schools lasted more than twenty years.
My corporate career brought me and my family to Singapore in 2007. My wife Cate and I had been active students of life for many years. We were vivid readers of universal inspiration shared by teachers like Dr. Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, and Paulo Coelho. For our time in Asia, we resolved to step-up our search for truth and wisdom. We would look for and find the right teacher to deepen our understanding. Soon after we arrived, Cate visited a coffee morning at an expensive carpet shop where a gentleman came to speak about the power of the mind and the power of wisdom. Within twenty minutes, Cate knew she had found our teacher: Vikas Malkani, the Wisdom Coach. Vikas has been our guru, mentor and coach ever since.
My learning with Vikas started in January 2008. Based on Vikas’ practical guidance, I started understanding how my life always starts with myself. Vikas made me aware of my inner power and I started to make wisdom an integral part of my life. That is where my transformation started. Cate and I took various wisdom courses from Vikas. We learned a great deal. About ourselves, about life, about becoming the author of our own life story, about finding our unique purpose, about living a life full of happiness, success, fulfilment, and freedom. Our lives changed and improved significantly.
When I left Singapore, I calculated that I had taken some sixty (60) days of wisdom teachings during our five years there. And I concluded that I had learned more about what truly helps in life in those sixty days than I had learned in twenty years at school. The power of true inspiration!
We all have a different reality!
I experience this power every day of my life and I love to share my learning. One of the important lessons I learned is that our thoughts create our feelings. Most people think that their emotions are caused by other people or by events or circumstances. But that is not true. Our feelings are caused by the way we think about these people, these events, these circumstances. Shakespeare says it very wisely in Hamlet, act 2, scene 2: ‘Nothing is good or bad, your thinking makes it so.’ Thoughts, not things cause how you feel.
People regularly suffer from anger, disappointment, frustrations. Much of these negative emotions are triggered – not caused! – by our relationships with other people. The cause always is the way we think about the other person or about what he said or what she did. I have looked deeply into relationship issues and I have found what is actually happening here. Our anger, disappointment, and frustration is caused by the invisible expectation that we carry that other people have to be and have to do exactly as us. This expectation will never be met. Other people think differently. Other people have different perspectives on things. Other people act differently. We ask ourselves: How can this be? Why does he not understand me? Why does she act in such a way? And every time our expectations are not met, we feel hurt.
Here is the thing: nobody will ever be exactly like you because we all have different minds! Our mind holds our expectations. Our mind decides our choices and perspectives. Our mind judges other people and our experiences. The fact that nobody has the same mind means that nobody will ever be and do exactly like you. We all have a different reality because we have different perspectives. If we hold on to our invisible expectations, we are guaranteed to frequently suffer from anger and frustration because our expectations will frequently not be met. We suffer.
The Different Perspective practice: a proven, simple technique to release your anger and frustration
So what to do? There is a simple way to get rid of this suffering. When we let go of our invisible expectation that other people have to be exactly like us, we instantaneously release a huge amount of anger and frustration from our lives. When we get rid of that expectation, we take away the root cause for all these negative emotions triggered by our dealings with others.
Here is a practical technique – the Different Perspective practice – that you can use and that will bring peace and calm in your life.
Whenever you feel negatively triggered by something to do with another person, remind yourself: this person has a different mind and this person thus has a Different Perspective;
After bringing this awareness, say to yourself: I accept the fact that people have Different Perspectives. Just like I am allowed to have my perspective, other people are entitled to their views. This appreciation will bring stability and calm to you instead of anger or disappointment;
Then, leveraging your inner peace, ask yourself: what is the most effective response I can give in this particular situation? You make a conscious choice and from there you take deliberate action.
When we apply the Different Perspectives practise, we let go of our invisible expectation that other people must be like us. Rather, we become more accepting and empathetic toward others which results in an automatic release of much anger and frustration and the creation of more peace and calm. Application of this practice benefits your daily experience of life. Guaranteed.
Start today with the Different Perspective practice and enjoy more calm and peace in your life!
Anton Broers, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Anton Broers is a leading mindset coach and trainer based in Europe. He is a former senior business leader at a global brand who spent time in Europe, Asia, and the Americas. Anton is a keen student of ancient spiritual wisdom made simple for modern-day application. As the CEO of Mind ur Life in the Netherlands, he helps children, adults, and businesses toward happiness, success, fulfilment, and freedom. Anton’s mission is to introduce the world to the power of the mind to create the life and results we desire.
