Written by: Heather Penny, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
We live in Northern California and the real estate market is blazing hot. Maybe you are experiencing the same thing where you live. I’ve been thinking about what the housing market might look like when my two teenagers are ready to purchase their first homes. Will they even be able to afford a starter home? Is homeownership even something their generation wants?
I recently read an interesting article about the spending habits of my kids’ generation versus those from mine, Generation X. [1] What struck me was how different our values are regarding quality of life. Gen Xers have more entrepreneurial mindsets with a more traditional work ethic. Millennials have more versatile, relevant skill sets in the digital world with more focus on personal time and creating a home life different from the ones they were raised in.
But as a leadership coach, here’s what caught my attention. Knowing that we each have been shaped by the worlds we grew up in, what can we learn from one another? And more importantly, how can we work better together?
I love to join conversations that discuss our differences in such a way that respects the reasons behind why we are living the way we are. What values are driving us? How can we collectively grow and learn from one another? Be stronger as a team, workforce, and society?
This requires listening to one another. It requires asking questions from a spirit of curiosity. Accusing one another of being lazy or too driven only keeps us on opposing sides. When we take the time to understand where each is coming from, it encourages a space to learn from one another and combine our collective wisdom about what it means to form a work/life balance and higher levels of fulfilment in the workplace.
Understanding these fundamental truths helps us get to common ground, namely that:
each person wants to be understood
each person wants a purpose
each person wants to reach higher levels of potential
How we do that requires time, patience, and curiosity. Most importantly, it requires stepping into conversations with the assumption that we each have something to learn from the other.
The gist of these conversations comes down to the value of letting work own you as opposed to owning your own life. What’s at stake here? Perhaps we can look at what the end goal is: what does your version of the American dream look like? The typical dream for those in my generation included getting married, having a couple of kids, and owning a home. But the habits are shifting and the reverse impact of this shift will have enormous implications on American culture, including population density, higher education, and healthcare.
The younger generations today are telling us, based on their spending habits, that they don't want to give their kids the childhoods we gave them. Some experts are predicting that this generation will have fewer children than previous generations, an unprecedented shift. [2] The consequence of long workdays resulted in a generation of fewer home-cooked meals around the table, latchkey parenting, hiring out help for keeping the house clean and getting the kids to sports practice and, with two breadwinners, stressed-out fathers and mothers trying to juggle too much. Maybe this is an unfair simplification. I don’t mean it to be, but there are certainly plenty of statistics that show the effects of two working parents on a family. No judgment from me, though. Both my husband and I worked hard while raising our two children. But the point is that many young people are aiming toward a different kind of life. Their goals might include a one-bedroom condo and leaving work at 5 while there’s still enough light to get in a few runs at the ski slope. I’ve witnessed a number of highly educated people who are waitressing or are baristas living in Vail, Colorado or Bend, Oregon because they're more interested in having fun and enjoying their youth than they are in climbing the corporate ladder.
This article isn’t about determining which American Dream is better. We all have different goals and different motivations. What I am interested in is the idea of bringing us all to the table to listen well to one another and coming up with a collective solution for what we mean when we talk about the quality of life and work/life balance.
Work-life harmony begins by coming up with a definition together. In order to do this, let’s slow down and listen to one another rather than getting frustrated because “that” generation doesn’t share our values. Here’s how I coach people to come to the table and have a constructive discussion by using my coaching method, 3C Living: Clarity, Confidence, and Courage.
Clarity – What is your truth?
This is a time to listen to and respect each person’s perspective. We show up wanting to better understand where the other person is coming from. We stay curious about the world they grew up in and understand how it shaped them and the values they hold.
Confidence – What beliefs have you formed around those truths?
We each develop belief systems around the way we experience our world. What are those beliefs? What beliefs are helpful in moving us forward together? Which beliefs are harmful? Talking about personal beliefs helps us come up with the group values we need to move forward together.
Courage – Now, how do we want to respond to what we’ve learned?
This last step does require courage because it calls us to act. It involves both personal commitment and collective commitment to take action. It might be anything from setting new work hours to looking at new ways of engaging at work. But it can only come after taking the time to get the clarity we need and then understanding the beliefs driving our levels of confidence.
Once we have navigated through these three discussion points, we have been given an opportunity to learn from one another to create better workforces, higher functioning teams, and greater levels of fulfilment.
Take the time to understand when there is a clash of values and help your team untangle it together as we model how to join together rather than pull apart.
For more on this, please visit me at heatherpenny.com and pick up my book, The Life You’re Made For, to take your own personal journey into 3C Living.
Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and visit my website for more info!
Heather Penny, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Dr. Heather Penny is a leadership coach, trusted advisor, celebrated teacher, an engaging speaker and author. She encourages individuals to step into their best life as they recognize the unique strengths they have to offer. Heather draws out fresh ideas and actionable goals to focus on forwarding momentum. She holds a Ph.D. in Human Services, with extensive global experience in consulting, as well as an M.A. in Educational Leadership. As a leadership coach, Heather serves her clients by drawing out their natural strengths to engage purposefully in their lives and the relationships they value. She guides her clients into clarity, confidence, and courage through the coaching process and believes the world needs the gifts each person has to offer.
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