Amy Strekas, founder of Speech, Language, Learning PLLC, offers individualized coaching for neurodivergent clients of all ages. With over 20 years of experience, Amy, an autistic ADHDer herself and mom to a neurodiverse child, uniquely blends expertise and empathy to help individuals and families overcome challenges.
Parenting a child with ADHD can feel like navigating a maze without a map. You often find yourself overwhelmed, questioning your abilities, and even contemplating giving up. I know how it is because I’ve been there. I have ADHD, and so does my 9-year-old son!
But remember that you are not alone in this journey. Many parents share these same feelings and struggles. In this article, we'll explore strategies to help you overcome the obstacles of parenting an ADHD child. From understanding your child's condition to seeking professional help, we'll provide actionable tips to make your parenting journey less daunting.
So, take a deep breath, and let's dive into the world of ADHD parenting. You've got this!
1. Understanding your child's ADHD
Understanding ADHD is the first step in managing it. ADHD, or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, affects a person's ability to focus and control impulses. It's not about being naughty or defiant. It's about a brain that's wired differently.
By educating yourself about ADHD, you can better understand your child's behavior and develop effective strategies to support them.
2. Embrace the emotional rollercoaster
It's Okay to Feel Overwhelmed! (Don’t fight it) Parenting a child with ADHD can feel like a rollercoaster ride. There are highs, lows, and unexpected turns. You are probably overwhelmed some-of (or much-of) the time. Just remember that it’s completely normal to feel this way.
Take a deep breath. Acknowledge your feelings. And remember, it's okay to ask for help.
3. Establishing structure and routine
Children with ADHD thrive on structure. A predictable routine can help them feel secure and focused. Try to establish a daily schedule. This should include time for meals, movement, homework, creative play, and rest.
Here are some tips to create a routine:
Start with the basics: wake-up time, meal times, and bedtime.
Include time for homework and other responsibilities, such as chores.
Don't forget to schedule downtime and play.
Be consistent but flexible. Adjust the routine as needed.
Remember, the goal is to create a routine that works for your child and your family. Don’t base this on what a neurotypical family would do.
4. Positive reinforcement and setting boundaries
Positive reinforcement can be a powerful tool. It encourages good behavior by rewarding your child when they do something right.
Setting boundaries is equally important. Clear rules provide structure and help your child understand what is expected.
Here are some tips for positive reinforcement and setting boundaries:
Praise your child when they follow the rules.
Use rewards to motivate your child.
Be clear and consistent with your rules.
Remember, the goal is to guide your child, not to punish them. Patience and understanding are key. Children with ADHD struggle with cause and effect and working memory, so punishments won’t work. Rewarding even the smallest effort is super important because the ADHD brain lights up with rewards.
5. Communication is key: How to talk to your ADHD child
Communicating with your ADHD child can sometimes feel like a challenge. But it's absolutely crucial for building understanding and trust.
Firstly, make sure to keep your instructions simple and clear. Too many words can overwhelm your child and cause confusion.
Secondly, maintain eye contact when speaking. This ensures that your child is focused and listening. Touch your child’s arm gently and wait for them to look at you before giving your instructions. Begin with something like, “Can I ask you a question?” Make sure they are with you before you begin speaking.
Lastly, always validate your child's feelings. Even if you don't agree, it's important to let them know their feelings are heard and valid. This builds their self-esteem and encourages open communication. Children and adults with ADHD tend to have more excitable nervous systems than most. We are not being overly dramatic on purpose. We simply feel things more deeply at a neurological level.
6. Self-care for parents: Avoiding burnout
Parenting a child with ADHD can be exhausting, and it's important to remember that you can't pour from an empty cup. Take time for yourself. Whether it's a quiet cup of coffee in the morning or a walk in the park, find what rejuvenates you.
Don't hesitate to ask for help. Reach out to friends, family, or professional services when you need a break. Remember, taking care of yourself isn't selfish. It's necessary for you to be the best parent you can be for your child!
7. Seeking support: You're not alone
Feeling overwhelmed is common among parents of ADHD children. You're not alone in this journey. There are numerous support groups and communities out there that can provide a safe space to share experiences and learn from others.
Don't shy away from reaching out. It can be comforting to connect with those who understand your struggles. Remember, seeking support is not a sign of weakness. It's a step towards building resilience and finding effective strategies for your parenting journey.
Related: How to Find an ADHD Support Group
8. Professional help: Therapists and ADHD coaches
Working with professionals can be a game-changer. Therapists and ADHD coaches are trained to understand the unique challenges of ADHD. We can provide tailored strategies to manage your child's behavior and help you navigate the emotional ups and downs.
Remember, asking for help doesn't mean you're failing as a parent. In fact, seeking professional guidance shows your commitment to providing the best possible care for your child and is a sign of strength and love.
9. Celebrate the small victories
As I mentioned before, parenting an ADHD child can be a rollercoaster. But amidst the challenges, there are victories to celebrate. Maybe your child remembered to do their homework without being reminded. Or perhaps they managed to sit through dinner without getting up.
These small victories may seem trivial, but they're huge for a child with ADHD. Celebrating them boosts your child's confidence and motivation. Remember, progress may be slow, but it's still progress. Celebrate every step forward, no matter how small.
Conclusion: Embrace the journey
Parenting an ADHD child is indeed a journey filled with ups and downs. But remember, every challenge is an opportunity for growth. Embrace the journey, celebrate the victories, and know you are not alone. You can navigate this journey successfully with patience, understanding, and the right strategies.
Book a parent coaching call today if you're looking for more support and tips. Let's work together to help your family.
Read more from Amy Strekas
Amy Strekas, Holistic Neurodivergent & Communication Coach
Amy Strekas is the founder of Speech, Language, Learning PLLC and a seasoned expert in child development and neurodiversity. With over 20 years of experience as a speech-language pathologist and coach, Amy brings a unique blend of expertise and empathy to her work. As an autistic ADHDer and a devoted mom to a neurodiverse child, she offers a fresh perspective and invaluable insights into overcoming challenges. Check out Amy's articles for useful tips on navigating the complexities of parenting, stuttering, autism, and ADHD.
